Pieces Of You
by Crystallinee
Summary: What if your whole life has been a lie? What if you meet someone you actually have known your whole life? Sasuke is a ordinary teenager and lives a rather unhappy life. One day he is mystically saved and meet the strange, secretive Itachi. He starts to wonder - which dark secrets lies in the past? ItaSasu. AU.
1. The Fire

**A/N: This story takes place in an AU where there are no ninjas. It's the "ordinary world". ItaSasu in later chapters.  
This fic is dedicated to _IWuffCupCakes_, for being such a good friend and for helping me out with some awesome plot ideas :D  
**

**Chapter 1: The Fire**

* * *

A loud crash was heard from the kitchen, making Sasuke start to cry for the third time that morning.

"_If you want to leave, then go ahead! But the kids are staying with **me**!"_

"_I would rather die than leave them with you!"_

Childhood hovering above them, making everything feel so bright. But everything was not as it should be. Itachi knew it already from the beginning, long before his sibling was born. Something was wrong, not just on the surface but in the pillars of his parents' relationship. Something was falling apart.

His little brother's oblivion was very peaceful sometimes. Sasuke stretched his chubby arms up and said: "'Niki!" in a request of being held. He stopped crying when Itachi lifted him up and patted his hair. Sasuke was always very distressed whenever their parents argued, but Itachi tried his best to distract him.

Their mother's upset voice from the kitchen: " _– And how did_ she_ get into our lives? Can you answer that? I thought this was a relationship between us!"_

Their father screamed something back and Itachi covered Sasuke's ears. The little child looked up at him with big, black eyes that were very confused. Sasuke moved his hand and wondered what his Nii-san was doing. Itachi sat down with him on the floor in Sasuke's room and started to sing a lullaby to him. But it was harder than usual to get the little child's attention. Sasuke was distracted and distressed and both the brothers flinched when the sound of breaking glass reached them again.

Itachi gave up on the lullaby and pressed Sasuke firmly against his chest. So many days he had stayed home from school because he didn't know what would happen to Sasuke if he left him on his own with their parents.

Some days everything was perfect. Their father was at home and their mother was overjoyed, she smiled and was so kind. Other days Fugaku had left the house without explanation and Mikoto switched between crying and cursing. When he came home, they could scream at each other for hours.

Itachi felt as if he and Sasuke became invisible those days. The two-year-old was left in his care, and he knew that if Sasuke crawled out to his parents and cried, he would most likely ended up being slapped by his father. Therefore it was his job to take care of his brother, although he was just like any eight-year-old. Sasuke was calmed by his presence and played with his fingers, humming on a song Itachi had taught him.

Itachi could hear his parent's accusing words to each other and he felt physically sick inside. It was so hard to be in the same house as them when they started fighting. He was no longer overwhelmed by the guilt and shame he felt every time, he had started to shrug it off now. But Sasuke was becoming more and more aware of the situation and Itachi feared that he would be just as hurt inside as he already was.

He buried his face in his baby brother's hair and breathed his sweet scent as he closed his eyes. If he tried really hard he could be somewhere else right now, together with Sasuke. Somewhere when love was putting the family together again and he could be just a tiny bit better so that his parents would stop fighting. At least for today. At least long enough for Sasuke to fall asleep without crying due to the loud shouting.

Suddenly Mikoto burst into the room. Before Itachi had time to react, she snapped Sasuke out of his arms and pressed him tight to herself. He could see tears running down her cheeks and Sasuke squirmed, distressed by his mother's upset state. Fugaku entered the room a second later and Itachi became angry – would they continue fighting in here, the only safe place Sasuke and he had left? But the thing that happened next shocked him throughly.

Itachi watched with wide eyes as Mikoto hastily stroked his cheek and kissed his forehead, mumbling "I love you", before she rushed out of the house with Sasuke in her arms. Fugaku held out an arm and prevented Itachi from following her. "You stay here."

Itachi turned against his father with rage boiling in every fiber in his body, but the man cut him off: "Let that whore escape with her kid. We will never see them again. You're my son, the only kid I have."

When Itachi had pushed his father aside and rushed out through the front door, the only thing he saw was a disappearing cab, taking the half of his family away from him.

* * *

.

**Eleven years later**

.

* * *

Saying that the city was big was not an exaggeration. Konoha was a business town, filled with sky-scrapers and swirling highways that could take you anywhere. This town had so many inhabitants from all corners of the world. Here so many families lived, and here so many came when they wanted to start a new life. An ever gray sky painted the background of the scenery.

Here was one of Konoha's smaller comprehensive schools, a "safe" little place for special students. But one would have to search for a messier and more disorganized school, and many of the pupils had not any special talents besides a competition instinct through thick and thin. Nothing was as fun as drive their teachers crazy. The school building was old and worn out and within its walls so many couples had broke up, being locked into their cupboards or found the meaning of their existence.

Sasuke angrily turned around in his school bench. "Naruto! I _know _that you've stolen my pencil! Give it back right now! And - shit, where are my keys? This is not fun!"

"Search for them," Kiba suggested bored.

"So troublesome", Shikamaru muttered.

"Seriously, give them back!" Sasuke complained.

Suigetsu grinned at the blonde boy in the other end of the room. He had been involved in the conspiracy to – once again – steal Sasuke's keys. Their teachers said that they behaved like toddlers, but the young teens didn't care. Suigetsu took a sip of his water bottle that was all bitten and marked by his sharp teeth.

Karin looked up from her book and blushed as red as her hair when she saw Suigetsu, sitting nonchalantly on his bench with his white hair gleaming in the light from the lamps. Ino had turned her chair against Sakura and they were engaged in a heated discussion about makeup, while Hinata shyly looked at them from behind. Iruka's lessons were always the messiest ones and it had become a sport for the students, like rabbit hunting, to drive him as crazy as possible. And the students weren't saving their tries; the classroom already looked like a war-zone although the class hadn't even started yet.

"How I am supposed to get home? Give me my keys right now!" Sasuke shouted.

Naruto threw a rubber across the room and Karin got up and yelled at him when it hit her glasses with enough force to crack them. "Naruto, you baka! These doesn't grow on trees, you stupid idiot! Do you know how much it will cost to repair them?"

In the same moment Iruka entered the room. He sweat-dropped at the scene in front of him. His students didn't notice - or didn't care - that he tried to get their attention over and over again.

"Everyone, calm down! Karin, stop hitting Naruto –"

"He broke my glasses!"

When Iruka himself got a rubber in his face, he gave up on the reprimands. "Suigetsu, step down from the table! Ino, Sakura, the class has started, would you _please _stop talking. Shikamaru, put your headphones aside –" No one was listening to him.

"I guess I'm glad that I won't be their teacher anymore", he mumbled to himself.

Everybody froze and started at their most appreciated teacher.

Naruto broke the silence. "What?"

"You've been our teacher since first grade!" Kiba shouted. "You can't just abandon us!"

Sakura and Ino sniffed and Hinata's lips trembled. Sasuke didn't know what to say or do.

"Why are you leaving us? What a drag."

"Well, I felt that it was time for me to move on. Kakashi will take over my classes – you guys know him, don't you?"

"We had him in sex ed", Sakura remembered and shivered. "And in the P.E. lessons", Ino added.

"He will take over for me", Iruka said. "But you'll get a new math teacher."

The whole class let out a collective groan.

"Why can't we have Rubber-head-sensei in all classes?" Naruto asked angrily.

"Kakashi does not have the time. Or the proper education for that", Iruka said. "It's time for you to get used to some new manners. You don't have many years left to high school. Now, on with the lesson. Can anyone tell me how to calculate angle _x_ if angle _a_ is …"

"Hey, hey, Iruka-sensei! Are you gay?!"

Iruka ignored the giggles and Naruto's question. "What have I said about talking without permission?"

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Naruto does everything without permission. That idiot."

"Sakura-chan….!" Naruto lowered his head.

Iruka was rather tired by now. "For being a bunch of thirteen-year-olds, I must say – you are rather stupid." His students gaped and gasped at the accusation. Iruka smiled warmly at them and spread his arms. "Give me a hug, all of you."

When his students glomped him a moment later, it was with sentimental and mixed feelings he thought about them. He had followed these twenty eight pupils since they were kids and for the most of them, so much had happened. Sakura and Karin had been so shy that they barely dared to open their mouth, and now they were just as loud-mouthed as Naruto. Shikamaru had gotten a lot better in school – Iruka was the first teacher to discover that he was a genius although he was lazy. Iruka also remembered the big development with his worst student Naruto. Naruto's parents, the wild Kushina and her husband Minato had done everything they could to make him behave. And Naruto was rather good at doing his homework nowadays. Iruka wondered if it would change when he wasn't there to encourage him anymore.

His eyes almost watered when he thought about his beloved students. Sasuke was the most talented one he had ever had, the best student in the school - and Iruka often wondered what made the boy so ambitious. He had never seen Sasuke's father and he knew what had happened. Geniuses like Sasuke usually didn't have such unstable family relationships as he had.

Iruka hugged them all and looked at those crazy, wild, loud-mouthed and brave kids.

"I will miss you guys", he said. "And I'm sure your new teacher will love you."

"You liar, Iruka-sensei!"

"_Dolphin _sensei!"

Iruka's left eyebrow twitched. Those brats was already mocking him again – but no matter what, he knew that he would miss them anyway. "Just don't try to scare away the new one the first thing you do."

"Promise, Iruka-sensei!" Naruto said, grinning with a look that clearly said 'trouble'.

**xxxxxxxxx**

Sasuke scratched his pen against his writing pad and tried to shut out the sound of his friend's voices.

"This school is so damn boring! I wish something _fun _could happen for once! Like, the principal's got a heart attack or the school could be on fire!"

"Don't start with that again, Naruto", Kiba groaned.

"Hey, Sasuke." The said person looked up at his friends. Suigetsu chewed at the end of his pencil. "How come you always get all answers correctly on the tests? When you say that you never study!"

"He study when he thinks no one else is around", Kiba grinned.

"Stop it already! I'm trying to do my work here!" Sasuke snapped. He once again tried to concentrate, but his thoughts flew back and forth and he couldn't collect them.

"Why are you at such a bad mood, teme? Stop being so boring and join our conversation!"

"It's not a conversation", Sasuke hissed. "It's just two losers talking to each other."

"Hey, stop being so mean!"

Sasuke abruptly stood up and collected his things. He threw the load of pink love letters some people had left on his desk at the bin. Then he left the room without another word.

"Sasuke, come back here!"

Suigetsu looked after his best friend who disappeared and then moved his gaze to Kiba, who looked rather guilty. Naruto shrugged but his gaze was locked at the door where Sasuke had disappeared.

"What's with him?"

"PMS", Suigetsu said jokingly. Kiba glared at him. "It must have been something we said."

"Like, 'two losers talking to each other'. Seriously, it's not like Sasuke to be so sulky."

"Maybe he has problems at home", Naruto suggested.

"Yeah, maybe his mom refused to buy any more tomatoes."

"Ha ha."

**xxx**

Sasuke was sitting depressed locked into one of the bathrooms of the school. He scribbled on the wall and listened on his music player on the highest volume possible. That way he could effectively shut out the rest of the world and all the things he just didn't want to think about. Things he couldn't think about. He could become one with the music, and turn the volume up until his ears ached. Days like this he didn't know what to feel or do, and strange thoughts could hit him.

He half-heartedly considered to inflame the bin. Maybe Naruto was right – they needed some kind of fun to enlighten the ever so grey days here. Everything was the same; every day was exactly like the day before.

He wished that he had something to hold on to, some memories to enjoy himself with. He had no fun at all, but he didn't want to change that either. He had nothing planned after school and he rarely hang out with his friends. He felt that he didn't fit together with them, even if he knew them quite well. But he was used to feel half, as if he had something inside of him that had been cut in two. And now he couldn't find the other piece.

He had never had any dreams or plans for the future, it wasn't important. Everything was just repeating itself, like a melody that played over and over again. There was nothing that interested him enough to make him have it as a hobby, nothing that could make him really excited. His friends called him 'emo' but he thought that that was an exaggeration. Just because he had black hair and often felt depressed it didn't mean that that was his style. Sasuke felt that he didn't have the strength to take it any longer.

Everything was just painful clichés about the true, perfect love or the day when everything would be fine. It was not that Sasuke wanted to die or felt suicidal; it was just that he missed the right feeling. He didn't feel like living. But he still needed to come home every day. He needed to show his mother that he still was there, that he was alive. Otherwise her fragile being would collapse, he feared. He was the replacement for everything in her life – the husband she never had and the other, happy children she never had.

It was completely quiet in the small bathroom and outside of it, until he suddenly caught the sound of an alarm and moving feet outside of the door. Sasuke's gut tightened for a moment until he realized what it was.

He relaxed again. So boring. Fire drill _again_? Didn't they have any better thing to do with their time? He snorted. Well, he wasn't going to put up with that stupidity. He was going to stay where he was.

"Easily-scared idiots." He turned the volume up another bit.

When the sound of feet started to fade away and the alarm still was on, he became really annoyed. _Turn it off for God's sake, some people are trying to feel depressed here!_

He broke his pencil a couple of times and then used the pieces to paint the sink all grey. He scribbled nasty words on the brick wall, just fed up with everything. Fuck this world and fuck them all. He became more and more angry, and soon the floor was filled with broken pieces of his pencil.

Damn it. Damn it. Sasuke bumped his head against the wall and then kicked the sink a couple of times. He hated this school, he hated everything. Why did his mother even bother giving birth to him? Everything was just so unnecessary.

But at least, he had this little hide-out. Here he always sat when he wanted to be alone. Here he could be himself, and here he didn't need to pretend.

Sasuke suddenly noticed how warm the air was. Maybe he should consider leave his hideout and go to some random store instead of sitting here like a depressed teenager. When he heard the faint sound of fire trucks he finally got up. It wouldn't hurt to just check the surroundings, right? Considering that the whole building must be evacuated.

He started to unlock the old door but of course it refused to open. Then a strange smell reached his nose.

It smelled... burnt, as if someone was smoking. But that couldn't be. The teachers hunted smoking students every day and no one was allowed to do such an activity in school. Now Sasuke was trying actively to open the door, just for the sake of it.

But the door was firmly closed. Maybe some other students had played a prank on him and put something in front of it.

He felt the smell clearer and something small and tiny started to flutter in his chest, rapidly growing to something cold and hard that had a very obvious effect on his heart and lungs. He heard a distant noise and a faint crackle that was coming closer. The door knob was warm. With pounding heart, Sasuke kicked the lock a couple of times before the door burst open and he stumbled out into the corridor, wondering why he had made those efforts to escape from one rotten place to another.

Then he realized.

Thick smoke everywhere. He couldn't see more than a couple of steps ahead. An overwhelming warmth that burned his eyebrows.

Shit, _how had he not noticed?_

He had to get out of there. Right now. He automatically crouched near the floor and started to cough. Damn it, really! What had he done? What, how, why –

Sasuke covered his mouth and tried to not inhale. He got up and searched wildly for the exit but all he saw was smoke. The panic was spreading rapidly through his body now, it was controlling his movements and ruling his body. His rationality had shut down completely. Instead of remembering the closest exit, he ran around like a scared animal. These boring corridors now seemed like a labyrinth of death. The smoke forced him down on his knees again as he started coughing, louder and louder. Every time he tried to breath, another cough shook his whole body and cut his air supply off.

Then he could see it. Two things.

The fire. It was traveling in sparkles by the smoke and spread faster and faster by each minute.

Then, the other thing. He saw something there, far away. His eyes were stinging from the heat rising rapidly around him and made it harder to see. But someone was there among the smoke. A firefighter? Another unlucky student? Sasuke started to shout and reach out for help. But he couldn't talk anymore, he was stuck and his throat was dry as a desert.

_I am caught. There is no way out. I won't make it. There's not enough air –_

**xxxxxx**

"Everyone, keep calm. Collect your stuff and leave the building in a human manner -" Kakashi's bored voice tried to reach out to the worried students, without bigger success. Everyone had risen violently from their chairs the moment they heard the fire alarm.

"I think the school's on fire!" Naruto announced happily. He and the rest of the class left the school and gathered some hundred yards away from it, shuddering in the cold rain. The school was evacuated and fire fighters were keeping everything under control. Or so they had been told.

"What a drag..." Shikamaru muttered. "Just when it rains…"

Kiba smiled gleefully. "_You_ did this, Naruto, didn't you? I owe you a favor. Now we won't have that test on Tuesday."

The blonde beamed with pride. "It was easy. I just put some matchsticks in a waster-paper basket and voilá, school will turn into ash!"

"You're so unbelievable childish, all of you", Shino said emotionlessly. "Don't you realize that this will pay back. Why; because we will be moved to another school. And why would it pay back? Because this will ruin our grades and destroy our already microscopic chance of getting into high school and then –" No one even looked at him.

They gathered students stared at the large building from which thick smoke rose and sailed towards the sky. Kakashi was standing with a list in his hands and made sure everyone was safe.

"Hey, where's Sasuke?" Suigetsu suddenly spoke up and looked confused around. Shikamaru shrugged.

"Probably sulking his ass off in his ordinary hideout", Naruto began. "Which is… "

The knowledge hit them like a flash of lightning.

"Shit!" Kiba gasped. Suigetsu's eyes widened.

"The school…" Naruto whispered.

"What are you standing here for? Do something!" Kiba shouted and rushed to their teacher.

And so, the hero of the day wasn't the hero anymore.

"How the fuck _could _you, Naruto? Do you realize that he might die? That you might end up fucking _killing him_?"

Kiba and Shikamaru were harassing their blonde friend who looked as if he was about to throw up from shame. Suigetsu was too worried for his friend to be standing there and pick on him and Kakashi had to focus all his attention on him to keep him calm.

"Calm down, Suigetsu. They are searching for him right now and I'm sure they will be here any moment. Sasuke isn't the type to stay in a burning building just like that."

That _really_ made the situation better. Not.

The rumor about Sasuke's absence had spread amazingly fast, and everybody was torn between worry and overwhelming curiosity. Most of the students had already left the area but Kakashi's class stayed. The grey-haired man already had enough with Sasuke's friends and the girls, but it didn't become better when he suddenly was overturned by a woman in his own age.

The black-haired woman was panic-stricken. "Sasuke!" she gasped. "Sasuke, where are you?" She turned towards Kakashi. "You, have you seen my son? Has anyone seen him? They say he's missing!" Mikoto had been on her way home from work when she saw the fire trucks. They lived near the school and as soon as she went there to see what was going on, she had heard about the missing boy.

"Everything will be fine, Mrs. Uchiha", Kakashi said when he recognized her as Sasuke's usually very quiet, reserved mother.

Some firefighters eventually came back. "We found nothing. No trace after a human being. But we will make another search of the second floor –"

Mikoto looked wildly around and suddenly started to cry. "I – I – I can't lose him! I can't! Sasuke! Where are you?"

Kakashi shooed off some girls who came asking for the umpteenth time what was happening and told everyone to calm down, without success. Black smoke continued to well up from the roof and the sirens from the fire trucks continued to slice the air.

.

Sasuke's eyelids fluttered and he mumbled something inaudible. Everything was slowly coming back from nowhere, darkness and light mixed and soon there was lighter than ever before. He tried to open his eyes, but the whole world was spinning awfully, so he figured that he could just as well close them again. He felt something like soft fingers stroking hair from his forehead, before the touch disappeared. Beneath his palms he could feel soft grass. The overwhelming heat and the suffocating smoke had vanished. And then, he heard an unfamiliar voice:

"It's time to wake up now, Sasuke."

* * *

_**To Be Continued**_

**Please review and tell me what you think! Feedback makes me update faster.  
**


	2. We Hate Math

**Chapter 2: We Hate Math**_  
_

* * *

_I am caught. There is no way out. I won't make it. There's not enough air –_

Everything was mixing together; it felt as if he was dreaming.

"It's time to wake up now, Sasuke."

That voice... it must have been a hallucination. He was sure that he had never heard it before, but still, it filled him with calmness. He felt someone touch his forehead again, but it didn't make sense. _Where am I?_

He wanted to hear that comforting voice again. But it didn't come back, and the fingers slightly resting on his forehead disappeared and left him feeling cold and empty. Scattered words fleeted through his brain:

_Wasn't important - just painful - about the true, perfect - or the day when every - right feeling. He needed to come - mother - that he still - Otherwise her fragile being - the replacement – for - she never had and - So boring - drill again? - They have an – Easily-scared - Trying to feel d - Damn it - Why did his mother even bother - at least, he had this little -_

Sasuke realized that he was lying down on soft ground. His eyelids fluttered and he took a deep breath. Somewhere deep inside of him he was aware that he was still alive. Unfortunately.  
That imaginary presence was still there, but he couldn't move just yet. Just now, right now, it felt as if someone was watching over him.

And then he was struck by a sudden coughing attack and violently sat up. His eyes flew open, the spell broke and the world crashed down upon him. All calmness disappeared and he was just as shocked as a newborn baby meeting the world for the first time.

With almost sickening disappointment he realized that his mother was sitting beside him, supporting his head. He was surrounded by a bunch of worried, curious and excited students. What on earth... had happened? Then he remembered. The fire -

"Sasuke, are you okay?!"

"Sasuke-kun!"

"Teme, are you alright?!"

He looked around and saw only familiar faces, heard familiar voices. His teacher and classmates were here... oh, couldn't they just stop squealing already? And what the hell was his mother doing here?"

"Sasuke", Mikoto sobbed. "My little sweetheart... I thought I had lost you..." She pulled him into a tight hug. Sasuke tried to get away, but he felt too weak right now.

They were all over him, worried and squealing. His head ached.

"Everyone, back off", Kakashi said with the same bored voice as always. "Give room for the medics."

Suigetsu, Naruto, Kiba and Shikamaru together with a handful of curious girls surrounded him from all sides and Sasuke struggled to get out of his mother's grip.

"Mom?" He looked up at her tear-filled eyes and she hugged him tight once again. "I'm here, darling, everything will be fine... I was so worried! Never do that again! You're the only thing I have!"

_The only thing you've ever had. Everything depends on me, as always._

They were gathered at the football plan some hundred yards away from of the school, he noticed when he confused looked around. From the school was only a small pile of smoke rising.

Now he remembered. He had collapsed in the corridor and then -

"What happened to the one who saved me?" Sasuke spoke out violently, making everyone look at him with weird facial expressions.

Mikoto stroked his forehead. "Don't you remember, darling, you managed to escape the building on your own and then collapsed on your way out. Thank Goodness you managed. "

"No! No!" Sasuke shook his head violently. "There was someone here, right before everyone came! I heard... there was someone! Someone saved me!"

"You must have been hallucinating, sweetheart. There were no other persons than you in the building, and we found you here alone. Let's go home and give you some rest", Mikoto said calmingly and proceeded to help him stand up, but Sasuke shook her hand away.

"You need to rest, darling", his mother pleaded. Suigetsu was at his side a moment later. "Hey, Sasuke. I'll help you."

Sasuke looked at them, upset and angry. _Why hadn't they seen anything? _That voice... He knew that if he hadn't been saved, he would have been dead by now. Someone... someone had been there... but who?

As he stood up, supported by his mother and Suigetsu, he saw that everyone was staring at him. Iruka-sensei was also there, looking very anxious. Sasuke wished they could stop fussing about it already. He just felt a bit tired, no big deal.

Everyone stared at him with big eyes; _what happened?_

As if he knew.

The medics and his mother ignored his protests and took him to the closest hospital to make sure he didn't suffer any damage due to his little smoke trip. The whole day Sasuke felt empty inside. He just found everything so ridiculous untrue, he felt fooled by nature itself. It had been impossible, _impossible _for him to find the way out of the building on his own when he suffered a serious lack of oxygen. He had seen something there... his last, blurry memories before he woke up on the football plan... someone was there, among the smoke... but his memory betrayed him and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't remember what it was he saw.

He slept restlessly that night, curled up to a small ball. He dreamt strange and absurd dreams the whole night, and a couple of times he woke up with a cold sweat and pounding heart.

**xxx**

"Good morning, sweetheart! How are you feeling?"

Mikoto sounded just as fake happy as always as she barged into his room early Saturday morning and pulled the curtains away from the window.

"I'm fine." Sasuke wished that she could stop treating him like a 3-year-old.

She suddenly sounded sad and the light from the windows painted her face in gold. "I wish I had time to spend the whole day with you, but I've got to work. "

"But it's your birthday! Do you have to work every single day during the weeks?"

"I've got a day off tomorrow, darling. Then we can celebrate."

Sasuke pouted instinctively. He was used to this; he was used to be alone on the afternoons and the weekends because his mother worked so hard, but it didn't make it any easier. But if she didn't work just as much, they would not be able to live in this apartment anymore. And they were already living a very restricted life.

She walked over to him and kissed his forehead. "Do you know what? They said that your school wasn't much damaged, so you won't have to move to another school. That's a relief, isn't it? I'm glad it's so close to our home, even though the teachers aren't always the best ones. And isn't it such a shame that Iruka quits? You had him since first grade..."

While his mother babbled, Sasuke remembered yesterday's events again. If he only knew who had saved him... he didn't know why, but it felt really important.

He had felt that soft touch of bare fingers against his forehead. A firefighter has gloves, so it couldn't have be one of them. And everybody else thought he had managed to save himself... but he knew that he had not been in the condition to do that. He had been as helpless as a naked hamster. He had already set his stubborn mind; he would not believe what they said. He _knew _that someone had saved him.

When his mother had gone to work, he started with his homework. That feeling of utter boredom, a meaningless life, hit him again. For a moment, just the shortest second, he wondered who had been cruel enough to save him. Maybe it would have been better if he died yesterday.

He was almost happy when his cell phone vibrated, putting a temporary end to this hell.

"Sasuke?"

"Yes, that's me."

"You don't sound very happy... Do you wanna hang out and play some football?"

The black-haired sighed. "Sorry, Naruto, but I don't feel like today."

"Really? Oh man, I'm so bored. Suigetsu is on a date with Karin – don't ask me – and Kiba is on some kind of manicure course for dogs together with Akamaru."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "He is?"

"Yeah. By the way, how are you feeling today - I mean, after yesterday -"

"I'm fine", Sasuke muttered, feeling slightly annoyed.

"If you say so -" Sasuke could almost hear his friend shrug through the phone. "Right. See ya."

"Bye."

Sasuke rested his head against the table for a moment. Then he got a brilliant idea.

The fresh breeze of autumn hit him when he left his home. Around him rust-colored and yellow leaves whirled, surrounding him in their own playful dance. He walked down the grey streets and hoped that he would not meet anyone he knew. He just wanted to be alone today. He had his hands put in his pockets as usual and strode determinately on the same streets, never taking any diversions.

His whole life – or, as long as he could remember - he had always enjoyed his own company before anyone else's; he needed silence and time to think. He didn't like to think of himself as his own best friend, but that was exactly was he was. After all, no one knew him as well as he himself and no one else could understand exactly how he felt. He liked his friends, but he often found his own company more than enough.

Not even now he could believe in tomorrow; the emptiness was still there. But right now he knew what he would do.

Even though his mother was very over-protecting and often didn't understand how he felt, he loved her very much. She worked so hard to make their living and although they never had had much money, she did everything she could to make it good for them. He had never had to fall asleep feeling hungry or despairing. They had everything they needed to survive; even though Sasuke often wanted something more. But he was going to celebrate his mother's birthday with his whole heart.

After a while he found the store he was searching for. He walked into the small bakery and carefully decided which cake he wanted to buy. He had saved money for awhile so he could afford a good one. He finally chose one with chocolate topped with crispy icing, as it was his mother's favorite.

Sasuke felt rather peaceful when he walked home. For once, he had a goal. Even if it was just a temporary one. He saw two kids running over the street in front of him.

"Wait for me, nii-san!" the younger of the two called. The older boy stopped and took hold of his sibling's hand before they continued.

As Sasuke proceeded to get home, the peaceful feeling disappeared. His whole life he had wished that he had been lucky enough to have an older sibling, an older brother. Someone who could take care of him for a change. Someone who could understand how it was to be a growing teen and already had gone through it.

Someone who could help him choose the right path when he was stuck and didn't know where to go. Someone who could help him out when he was stuck with his homework or could protect him that time when he was bullied at school in third grade. Suigetsu had defended him back then, and they had became friends. But it wasn't enough.

When he came home to their dark, empty apartment he started with the preparations the first thing he did. He lighted candles and set the table for two. He even decorated with balloons and a cloth on the table. He wanted to do something special for his mother.

When Mikoto came home she found everything as it used to be. "I'm home", she called and realized that Sasuke probably was studying in his room. She had barely put her shoes off when she noticed that the kitchen was lighted.

She gasped when she saw the large cloth fastened on the wall. It said: _"Happy B-day!"_

Then her gaze fell upon the balloons, the plates and the enormous chocolate cake on the table.

"Sasuke...?" she breathed, amazed. A moment later her son hugged her tightly. "Happy birthday, mom."

Tears filled her eyes and she was touched all the way into her heart. "For me?"

Sasuke nodded and let go of her. She relished every detail of it and smiled. "Darling, you didn't have to... you don't like sweets."

"But you do", Sasuke said.

"Did you buy it with your own money? Sweetheart, I can't... "

"Eat it before it gets spoiled", he suggested. She saw that he had already prepared a plate with sliced tomatoes for himself. She laughed a bit, overwhelmed with joy and happiness. She hugged her son tightly before he got a chance to sit down. "Thank you, Sasuke. I love you."

Sasuke smiled at her. It felt like ages since he last looked so carefree. Moments like these, Mikoto could feel that maybe her choice had been the right one. Just maybe.

They started their little meal, just the two of them. After all, as long as Sasuke could remember, there had never been anyone else. No other relatives, no friends of his mom. Just the two of them.

He didn't know who his father was, but that didn't really matter. But he often wondered how life would have looked if his father had been here. If they had been a _real _family. But he couldn't talk with his mom about it.

As Mikoto enjoyed her piece of cake with her whole heart, she examined her son as so many times before. Her little Sasuke had grown up to a very beautiful boy. His black hair shone in the light from the lamps and his eyes – her own eyes – were deep and very meaningful. To her great relief, had gotten his most traits from her. Everything from his fair skin to the color of his hair was from her.

But, even how much she tried not to, she couldn't help herself but to see other traits in his face, traces of a man she once had loved and that she never wanted to see again. But Sasuke was the eternal evidence and he would always remain to remind her.

Sasuke tilted his head to the side when he noticed that she had been staring at him for a while.

"Mom?"

She smiled. "This is the best birthday I've had for many years, sweetheart." She walked over to him and kissed his forehead. Sasuke wiggled a bit to get away. "Mom..."

But she hugged him once again and her eyes were moist. "Thank you."

So fast he had grown up …

**xxx**

Back in school again. Sasuke wondered again why he just couldn't have passed away the other day, gotten a nice, painless death among the smoke. And nothing was better when everyone were behaving like turtur doves. Karin and Suigetsu shocked the whole school when they walked in through it hand-in-hand early Monday morning. Their friends applauded and whistled at them. Sasuke was the only one who kept a straight face.

Sakura's and Ino's faces glowed with jealousy. "We _have _to get boyfriends soon! We can't let Karin win this!"

"I'll be your boyfriend!" Naruto smiled. Sakura grimaced and shook her head.

"Forget it, Naruto."

They squealed when Sasuke walked past them, but he just sent them an ice-cold glance. _In your dreams._ He wondered why they were so stupid. They rejected Naruto over and over again but only wanted Sasuke because he was 'hot'. He would never understand how girls worked.

Everyone except Sasuke was very excited and distracted that day. The other's glee made Sasuke feel even more depressed and he mentally slapped himself for always having such a bad mood. It was so hard to feel happy nowadays. The older he become, the harder it became.

"Naruto! Why do you always have to mess with me?" Karin screamed when the blonde boy started up Rubber War 2000. "Your parents are going to pay for my glasses, be so sure."

"How troublesome", Shikamaru muttered. "I thought the school was going to end in flames, and now we're sitting here again. No one was even killed."

Everyone looked at Sasuke at his final statement, and said teen could feel his irritation rise once again. No one would ever let him forget that.

Half of the class screamed: "YOU'RE LATE!" when Kakashi entered the classroom.

"Sorry, I had to help an old lady over the street", he said and put his children banned book aside. "As some of you have heard, the school managed to go through that… _accident_ last week rather fine. We will close the east side of the school for reparations though, which means that your English lessons are being held in the gymnasium. Further than that, no one is allowed to go near the scaffolds, or you might get hurt", he added bored.

Everyone looked at Sasuke again when the word 'hurt' was mentioned, and the young Uchiha felt that he couldn't stand it any longer. "Give it a rest!" he snapped. "I wasn't stabbed or anything!"

Kakashi sighed. "And... it seems like your new Math teacher won't show up today."

"ARE WE HAVING FREE PERIOD?" half of the class suddenly shouted.

"Something like that, yes", their teacher muttered and picked up his book_ Icha Icha Paradise_ again.

After an hour of utterly concentrated work, everyone left their seats with raising anticipation.

Naruto shouted: "Yay, no class! Sasuke come with us! Let's go and buy some ramen!"

"I'll stay here", Sasuke declared and collected his things.

Naruto beamed with joy. "Except for the lunch break, free period is my favorite class! It feels like being released from a concentration camp! Goodbye, Auschwitz! Ahh, freedom – "

"Your teacher is here now", Kakashi announced before anyone even had time to leave the room.

"Whaaaaaaat? Oh no! You must be kidding, Kakashi-sensei!"

They all took their seats again, disappointed, and Kakashi led the new one through the door. "We managed to get a new math teacher for you in the nick of time -"

Sasuke didn't listen, nor did he look at the one their other teacher presented.

He hovered over his pad and just scribbled something. Angry thoughts pushed back on the white sheet that was soon grey. He drew circles, angry circles going together and mixing with each other until everything just was a mess. He drew squares and triangles, everything he could think of that had a definite shape. He felt more than uneasy - he felt downright stressed and nervous, without reason. It felt like something was changing… he could hear that unfamiliar voice in his head again: _It's time to wake up…_

It took a while before he realized that the new teacher was approaching him. Too bad, he didn't need any help. Not from anyone.  
Just when he was about to snap her off she bent down and some of her long, black hair was visible in the corner of his visions. They were so close that he could feel the other person's breaths.

Annoyed, he looked up at her and suddenly froze. He realized that he had mistaken the teacher for a woman.

Sasuke stared into the eyes of his new teacher, Itachi.

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**Until next time, please review!**


	3. Art Explosion

**Note: **In this fic Deidara is only one year younger than Itachi - thus, 18 years old.**  
**

******Chapter 3: Art Explosion **

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_Annoyed, Sasuke looked up at his teacher and suddenly froze. He realized that he had mistaken him for a woman.  
He stared into the eyes of his new teacher, Itachi_.

The man in front of him smiled. "Do you need help with anything, Sasuke?"

Sasuke stared like an idiot at the stranger in front of him and his brain seemed to suddenly have gone into Battery Saving or something, because it took a while before he could even move his gaze.

"… No …"

"Good, tell me if you need any help then." The man turned around and walked to the next bench before Sasuke had time to understand what happened. When he had recovered a bit from his shock, he looked around to make sure that he was still in the same room. Then he shook his head, confused.

"How... _He knew my name!_" he hissed to Suigetsu who sat next to him.

The white-haired boy grinned at him, revealing a perfect set of razor sharp teeth. "No shit, Sherlock. There's something called 'class list'".

"Look what happens when a genius meets another genius", Kiba snickered. "You looked like you saw an alien, Sasuke."

"So… that's our new teacher?" said boy asked.

Naruto nodded. "His name is Itachi."

_Itachi … _That name awakened a feeling of something familiar deep inside of Sasuke, but he shrugged it off. It most certainly didn't mean anything, it was probably just some kind of defect déja vu. But still, he didn't know why he watched the new teacher move around in the room and help some other pupils.

Without judging it was easy to say that the young man was good-looking, maybe even beyond average. He was tall and muscular, well-fed but at the same time slender.

Itachi was dressed in a black shirt and jeans, which was both simple and very tasteful. He had rather fair skin and long black hair, tied to a ponytail in his back. Sasuke hadn't seen much of the man's face yet, all he had seen was his deep black eyes and two scars below each of them that disgraced his face.

The whole class was very curious about their new teacher and everyone was talking excitedly about it. The girls sighed dreamily and watched him like hungry birds.

"Look at that body of his... like Adonis... he looks like he is doing commercial for boxers or something... or maybe he is a famous movie star …" Sakura and Ino didn't even care to lower their voices, but Itachi didn't even look at them. "What is someone like _him _doing here, anyway? He is like an older version of Sasuke, maybe even hotter..." Naruto sent them an upset glance, but they ignored him.

Suigetsu sat nonchalantly on his bench like always and distractedly fondled Karin's hair. "You missed the introduction, Sasuke, because you were dazing off like always. You should have seen him – he was like, sweeping in through the door, swiftly wrote his name on the board and swept a bang out of his face. Just like in a movie."

Sasuke both dreaded for and hoped to talk with the man again, but Itachi seemed to be rather busy and he didn't stand still for a moment. But as he leaned over Neji's bench he raised his gaze and looked straight at Sasuke. The latter, who had watched him all the time, felt how his cheeks started to heat when he was found out gawking. Suddenly he could feel his heart beats pounding all the way up in his head. Suigetsu nudged him and grinned. "Seems like you've just met Prince Charming."

"Shut up!" Sasuke hissed and looked down in his writing pad again.

**xxx**

Art class again. An hour that most of the students spent sleeping at their benches while other people just tried to avoid their rather… explosive teacher, Deidara.

"I'm going to show you brats some true art today, un!" he announced as the pupils took their seats. "I'm going to teach you how to become suicide bombers! A true artist must be willing to sacrifice himself as well as others to show off their ultimate work of art, un!"

"You better don't", a bored voice said from behind him. "If Pein fires you again you won't be able to come back."

Sasori had an apron tied over his ordinary clothes, a paint brush stuck behind his ear and his red hair was messy. He often collaborated with Deidara in art projects, which was rather strange because none of the artists could never agree on anything. But it circulated rumors about the two of them living together, so maybe it wasn't so strange anyway.

The blonde man turned towards him. "You don't understand, danna! My art is –"

"My art is better anyway, Deidei."

"Hell to the no, danna, un! My art –"

"Can we start the lesson already?" Sasuke asked bored.

His teacher turned around and glared at him. "Don't act cocky, Uchiha brat!" he hissed.

Sasuke was totally unfazed and Suigetsu sighed and took a sip from his water bottle. "Here we go again. Sasuke's the black sheep, the antagonist in your art, the -"

"The one among all these Art haters who always ruins my day", Deidara hissed. Sasuke looked just as untouched as before and it aggravated his teacher even more.

"This is it, un! You're cleaning up here after class!"

"But I didn't even do anything!" Sasuke protested and for the first time showed a hint of emotion. The blonde artist smiled scornfully and Sasori rolled his eyes.

During the whole lesson the black-haired boy had a rather sour facial expression – he had never understood nor had any interest of the various aspects of art - and it grew to pure anger when he at the end of the hour was stationed to clear up something that looked like a mess of clay and puppets, mixed together.

"I feel sorry for you bro", Suigetsu said and patted his shoulder before he left the room together with the rest of the students.

"I can help you out, Sasuke", Naruto volunteered.

"No, I'll do it by myself."

"Really, man, it's okay."

"No, I can do it by myself!" The truth was that Sasuke didn't want to be even more humiliated - the unfair punishment was already enough. Naruto stayed anyway and tried to help him, but it was a hopeless case. Meanwhile, Deidara argued with his partner about art as if it was about life and death.

Sasuke sighed loudly when a bottle of paint flew through the room. "Stop it already. No one cares about your shitty art." He snorted.

Deidara's eyes flashed with rage. Sasori sighed. "The brat is just trolling you; his ultimate goal is to make you angry. Don't let yourself get touched by it, Deidei. A true artist does not - "

But the blonde man didn't hear him. He had always resented the young Uchiha, without any reason. He leaned over Sasuke with gritted teeth and was so angry that the only thing Sasuke heard was: "You – arrogant – little - un - prick – blow - up – kill – you – someday – un - look down - art!" Deidara took a deep breath to calm himself and then spoke up again:

"This is it for real, un! You're going to the headmaster, and you're going there right fucking _now, _un! Or else I'll make you pay for looking down at my art! Art is holy and you are just an inferior who knows _nothing _about the pain and struggles of an artist!" he spat.

"We get it", Naruto muttered and made a funny face behind his teacher's back. Deidara smiled cockily and didn't notice it. "After Sasuke, you'll be the next one I'll blow up, un."

A tall, slender woman dressed in blue met Sasuke when he entered the dark waiting room outside of the principal's office.

"Why are you here", she asked emotionlessly and put some of her blue strands of hair behind her ear.

"I was send to the headmaster", Sasuke muttered.

"Pein-sama is busy. Don't bother him."

"But –"

"Sit down while I ask him if he can receive you", she said and turned around.

Sasuke did as he was told and looked at some of the magazines on the table: _God News, How To Rule 'Em All _and _Leadership – make them silently bend to your will._

Maybe it was true that their principal actually was a wannabe-God. It wasn't very strange though – this was a rather creepy school. The art teacher was a former terrorist bomber, the Religion teacher was a fanatic religious man, the Civics teacher was obsessed with money and woodworks teacher made puppets out of living humans. Not to mention the talking plant at Pein's office or the strange Biology teacher who actually looked like a shark.

Suddenly he noticed his new teacher pass by outside of the glass door. Itachi seemed to hurry off somewhere and his long black hair was messy outspread over his back.

"Pein-sama can receive you now", the assistant said and led him into the headmaster's office. "Thank you, Konan", Pein said from his king-sized swivel-chair.

"So you're in trouble again, Sasuke Uchiha…" The red-haired man looked at him with his piercing eyes as his assistant left the room and closed the heavy wooden door behind her.

"I hope you didn't have any plans on taking over the school… since I'm the God, and I will rule this school forever... Anyway, your grades are just as good as always", Pein said and skimmed through a pile of documents. "Deidara sent you here again, I see. He is the only teacher of the school who hasn't anything good to say about you. Let's see…" Pein looked in a folder. "_'Loud-mouthed arrogant immature petty disturbed ugly brat who doesn't appreciate my art - scratch that – art at all. Even if Danna says – '_" Pein read it all with an emotionless voice as always and then sighed. "That is not enough to call to a meeting with your parents, even if this is the sixteenth time this month you are here."

"Thirteenth", Sasuke corrected coldly. "And as I've told you twenty seven times before, I only have one parent."

Pein's eyes narrowed. "I see. You're _that _kid…"

A soft knock on the door interrupted him. "Pein-sama…"

"What?"

"The new teacher wishes to see you."

"Let him in."

Sasuke instantly felt his heart beat faster and turned around in his seat as Konan led Itachi through the door. He understood that it was time to leave and rose from his chair. Pein ignored him and his assistant just sent him an empty glance.

"Hi there, Sasuke", Itachi greeted formally and smiled. But his smile was anything but formal.

Sasuke left the room and slowly walked back to class. A part of him wanted to sneak to his favorite hideout and stay there the rest of the day, but the better part of him won. Suddenly he heard the sound of gasps and was thoroughly shocked when he found Deidara pinned against the wall by Sasori. The red-haired man kissed Deidara deeply.

Sasuke made a face of disgust by seeing two of his least favorite teachers make out. They pulled apart when they noticed that he was staring at them.

"You didn't see that!" Deidara yelled and pointed a threatening finger towards him.

"Brats have no memories, Deidei", Sasori said and his angelic face was expressionless. "As long as… we silence them… forever… like the eternal art will silence the ones who doubt it."

Sasuke just frowned. Crazy artists. But he was not sure if he was going to survive the next Art class.

**xxxxxx**

Mikoto was listening to the silence once again. There was emptiness in her heart, emptiness in her mind. One of her hands rested over her heart, as if to clutch it. She had the day off and had spent it on her own, waiting for Sasuke to come home from school.

A pang of pain hit her heart and she closed her eyes, imagining another world…

A world when she was still married to _him_ … a world when Sasuke would fear coming home from school, just like someone else had, long ago. She couldn't think of that name … she had tried so hard to forget and focus the rest of her life on Sasuke. But still, she had given birth to another being and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't erase his existence from her heart. This town had seemed perfect to move to … here she had thought that she could forget the past and start over. But as she had told one of her neighbors eleven years ago, she didn't move here to start something. She moved here to end something, something vulnerable and precious.

She looked at the old photography in her hand. Half of it was torn away and only Sasuke's smiling baby face could be seen on it. She clutched the picture tightly and imagined … those first months in this town …

How she had sat here, in exactly this couch in exactly this room with little Sasuke sleeping at her chest, watching his tiny chest rise and fall. From this day on... it was only the two of them. She knew it was a selfish choice she had made, but she just couldn't... she couldn't let him grow up in _that_. She had slowly caressed her little son's soft cheek. Around them was only their little living room, the same bookshelves and old carpet as now. She remembered the questions she silently had asked him in her mind.

_I wonder, will you ever forgive me for the separation I let you go through? That I gave up all hopes that our family could make it through?  
I had to choose. A safe childhood …. or a life together with Itachi.  
I know I have no right to hope for it, but still, I will pray that you don't hate me to much when you find out. Therefor,_

Sasuke had come home now. He put his school bag aside as usual and after greeting her shortly, she saw him disappear into his room. She watched his disappearing back and her eyes stung, they wanted to let out the feelings hidden behind them.

_I will never let you know._

_.  
_

**xxxxxx**_  
_

Night again. Darkness overflowing, filling his heart with all suppressed anger.

"I… Itachi…" The man was breathing heavily and he supported himself against the wall. Saliva was dripping down his chin and his eyes were half-closed. His drunken breath was filling the air with the smell of alcohol, mixed together with tobacco and one or another drug.

Itachi looked at the man with a clear face of disgust. He was no longer taking accusations and threats. The times had made him strong, strong enough to defend himself. After all, that was what he had become. A survivor. He could no longer ignore the feelings coursing through his veins, the emotionless facade he every day of his life.

"Go back to bed", he told his father emotionlessly.

The man in front of him collapsed with a groan and reached out a sweaty hand. Itachi didn't move. His eyes were cold and held no sympathy towards him. He grabbed his keys and began putting on his shoes, preparing to leave for the night.

"Itachi" – a hoarse groan - " don't you dare – don't – leave your… father… here…"

Itachi's voice held no mercy, and a tiny shade of anger was leaking through it:

"You've sunken far too low. You're a pity."

He pulled his sweater up and it concealed the faint scars on his upper arms well. The door slammed shut and Itachi Uchiha left.

It was now the real anger overwhelmed him. So many times he had kicked and punched the brick wall outside of the apartment until his body bled, but it was all in vain. Everything was in vain, nothing mattered. Until now... How cursed his life had been before, how damned everything was.

As he walked down the dark streets and the only sources of lights were the abused street lights, he could see himself standing at the same brick wall as young teen. Here he had rushed out every time life went wrong, everytime he thought that he was not able to take it anymore.

With eyes filled with furious tears he had kicked and slammed his head against the hard stone, he had let out all his anger, his helplessness and his sorrow. He had done bad things and ended up in bad company, just because he didn't know where to go. He had kept himself far away from drinking and smoking though. Horrible childhood memories would forever keep him away from that. With crimson hands he had just roared out his powerlessness, feeling how the suppressed rage overwhelmed him, how it hit his mind like a tide and everything exploded; the red and white anger took his whole being in possession.

"You're a faliure. You're a failure, father. Someday, I will - " Itachi used to talk like that until everything just shattered and he screamed: "_**Give me my brother back! Give him back!"**_

Itachi could see himself as a yonger teen, collapsing on the street, furiously crying, whispering o_touto_. Now he just straightened his back and walked by. No one was going to take Sasuke away from him anymore.

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**Thank you for reading! I love reviews and they make me update faster. Stay tuned!~  
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	4. Missing Past

**Chapter 4: Missing Past**

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"Because of the fire that started here last week, I'm here to teach you about fire precautions", the man said and patted Sasuke's shoulder friendly. "Here we have a lucky survivor who is the living evidence of what you must not do in those kinds of emergencies."

The black-haired sent him an annoyed glance. Some of the girls giggled and Itachi who stood leaned against the wall gave the man a fierce look. Everyone was sitting quietly in their benches and the only source of light in the room was the over-head projector on which some pictures were displayed.

The man straightened up and adjusted his glasses. "Always evacuate a building completely when a fire alarm goes off, no matter if it's practice or not. You'll never know when it's the real deal."

"Anyone who wants a real deal?" Suigetsu said and looked demonstratively around in the room. Some students started to giggle again but fell silent when Itachi narrowed his eyes.

The man continued: "And don't think you can save lives with a fire extinguisher. On work places and public places like this school, a fire extinguisher can never save a life. Hiding for the fire will not help either, like this young man over here thought." He looked at Sasuke who could feel his irritation rise rapidly once again. _For God's sake, I did not hide_! Apparently people seemed to have found out about how he neglected the fire alarm last week.

"Fire fighters often find carbonized remnants of people who thought they had a chance to extinguish the fire by themselves or thought that they could hide from it."

Some of the girls grimaced and Naruto shivered. Itachi's face was completely emotionless, but something else was visible in his eyes. As the man from the fire protection service continued to talk about various measures, Sasuke felt his attention drift away and slowly disappear. He looked at Itachi, how his tall, slender figure almost glowered in the darkness of the room. He looked at him over and over again, hoping that the darkness would conceal his actions.

"The headmaster wants me to tell you that this accident will not be disregarded", Itachi said and looked at the students with narrow eyes, especially in Naruto's direction. The blonde boy gulped. "We will make a police report and we will find out who was responsible for the fire."

.

"You're really dead, man", Kiba stated during the lunch break.

Naruto shrugged. "They'll never find out."

"Wait… did _you _start the fire last week?" Sasuke was shocked.

"Who else did you expect?" Suigetsu rolled his eyes.

"Don't you think… it looked like Itachi was going to personally catch the guy and bring him to justice? Strange, considering that he is a new teacher and he should not give a shit about this place", Kiba remarked.

"Maybe he isn't here because of the place…" Naruto began.

"What a smart conclusion!" Suigetsu face-palmed. "I can't believe it; you guys are starting to sound like Neji and Shino all of a sudden. _Destiny _and other smart-ass things!"

While they ate lunch, Sasuke was happy to see that his crowd of fangirls kept their distance for once. Karin had been obsessed with him since first grade as well as Sakura, Ino and a whole bunch of other girls, but he was more than relieved when the red-haired switched her admiration to Suigetsu about a year ago. The other girls had started to get used to Sasuke's detachment and constant unconcern, and although they all still admired him madly, they knew it was useless to even try to gain his interest.

Karin sat in Suigetsu's lap and glared at Sakura and Ino who was tripping over each other's feet in their eagerness to get a glimpse of Itachi.

"I don't understand how those idiots work", she said and let her hands run through her boyfriend's white hair.

"Actually, you've been one of those 'idiots' once upon a time", he reminded her.

She glared at him. "I know already! But I can't sympathize with Sakura for a moment! Everyone knows that Sasuke is either gay or asexual!"

Naruto burst out in laughter and Sasuke scowled. "Class starts in five minutes, we should get going."

When the students thought that they would have a soft time with their new teacher, they were horrible mistaken. Itachi soon proved to be even stricter than Kakashi.  
He craved absolute silence in his classes and didn't tolerate any kind of jokes, bullying or talking. Naruto and Suigetsu were most targeted, because they were used to behave as they pleased in class. Suigetsu was abruptly shooed off his bench and had to sit like everyone else and Naruto got detention whenever it was possible.

Before the end of the week, everyone had gotten scolded at least once except Sasuke and some of the quietest girls. But eventually even Hinata was reprimanded when she talked with Kiba during class time. Karin got extra homework a couple of times for being so 'loud-mouthed' and Sakura was so harshly scolded after breaking out in giggles during a test that she started crying and ran out of the room. Naruto was the only one who cared to run after her.

Sasuke was usually a much focused student, but even he would to talk with his friends during class time now and then. But the strange thing was that Itachi never seemed to notice when he was talking or eased up. His little special treatment didn't go unnoticed by his classmates and a sea of mixed feelings was rising beneath the surface.

Everyone's feelings towards the new teacher were very mixed. But somehow, few of them were able to really hate Itachi no matter which punishments he could give them. Itachi was always fair and he had sympathy, although he rarely showed it. Shino and Neji had started up some kind of Anti-Itachi club in silence and Deidara couldn't even be close to him without threatening to blow him up, but most of the other students admired him. The girls switched between hate-loving him and adore him with literally heart-shaped eyes.

Suigetsu never showed how he felt about the new teacher, but it was obvious to his friends that he both resented him and thought he was 'cool'. And Sasuke had to admit, Itachi was cool. He always knew how to answer the most knockdown questions and comments in no time and nothing could unsettle him or make him uncomfortable.  
He seemed to have a whole dictionary in his head and he moved with a grace that could make a girl faint on the spot. His behavior made the students feel unsure but also very curious about him. He didn't tell them a single thing about himself.

But the strangest thing with their teacher wasn't his sharp intelligence or his good looks; it was his lack of emotions. It was impossible to guess what he was thinking or feeling, as if he was constantly wearing a mask. But Sasuke had seen the deep sorrow lingering in Itachi's eyes for a short moment, but no one else seemed to have noticed it.

Itachi's arrival was a new experience for all of them, but for Sasuke it soon became both pressing and overwhelming. It all started about three days after their first math class with Itachi.

Sasuke couldn't help but to notice that the man seemed very interested in his school work. Itachi spent the lessons walking from person to person to make sure everybody did what they were supposed to do and got all the help they needed. But he seemed to always be circling around Sasuke's bench, and he often returned to him a couple of times during the same lesson.

Every time he walked past Sasuke's bench, the younger boy forgot what he was doing and became cack-handed. He didn't know why, but he couldn't take his eyes of his teacher. Every time their gazes met, he did everything he possible could to look away. But was as if he couldn't rule his body by himself anymore. He had felt so strange for the past days. He tried the best he could to focus on the exercises in front of him, but it was goddamn _impossible _to behave normally around his teacher, already from the very beginning. It all was driven to its edge when Itachi passed him for the third time in twenty minutes and slowly dragged his fingers over Sasuke's writing pad.

"Is everything going well?" he asked again. Sasuke couldn't look up at him. He could feel that his face was blossoming red and he felt all feverish. His eyes were locked to Itachi's fingers. His heart pounded strongly in his neck, making it hard to swallow.

_This is ridiculous. What's wrong with me? Why do I react like this?  
Why can't I take my eyes off you?_

Since that incident it had become a tension to be in the same room as his teacher. Sasuke tried to focus, but he barely skimmed through his book and felt more and more confused.

A week after Itachi's arrival, Sasuke was forced out of his thoughts when Naruto suddenly nudged him. "Hey, Sasuke… it looks like someone died in your pad."

The black-haired looked down and realized that he had cut himself on the sheets of his work book. It was was covered with crimson stains.

"Oh… it's nothing serious", Sasuke said and proceeded to stand up. _I didn't even notice…_

His teacher was already standing beside him with some paper and a patch, as if he had been waiting for something like that to happen.

"I'll take care of it by myself", Sasuke muttered.

"Don't worry; I've gone through medical education", Itachi said calmly. "Hold your hand out and let me see."

Sasuke tried to mentally force his face to go back to its normal color, but he could just as well have tried to change the color of his eyes. Humiliated, he let Itachi examine his finger and clean the small wound. His palms were sweaty from nervousness and he wished that Itachi could just stop touching him before anyone saw what he felt right now.

"Strange how much a little wound like this can bleed, don't you think?" Itachi chitchatted while he leaned over Sasuke's bench and gently pushed him back to his seat.

Sasuke avoided the man's eyes and searched for a safe spot to place his gaze. But all he saw was Itachi's black hair in the corner of his visions and his grinning friends. It all filled him with unexplained anger. He sat completely motionless as Itachi carefully wiped the blood away and placed a patch on his finger. Then noticed something.

Sasuke stared in shock at the man's long, slender hands. Itachi's fingers and nails had exactly the same shape as Sasuke's own. It was like looking at his own hands, moving in front of him. Then Itachi straightened up and smiled again.

"All done. How do you feel?"

Sasuke shakily stood up. "I need some air", he mumbled and fled the classroom. Normally, students weren't allowed by Itachi to leave during class time, but Sasuke got away with it. He hurried down the now rather empty corridors. He didn't stop until he was standing in front of the small restroom he always went to when he needed to be alone. This brought him uncomfortable memories from last week. Here he had been lying on the stone floor, waiting for the end. And now he remembered it much clearer.

He remembered being on the verge of passing out, coughing wildly in the black smoke. His body had hit the hard floor and everything was just dim. Somebody had been approaching him. His body was rapidly starting to shut down, but he had seen it. Somebody was there, crouching down beside him. A strong hand had reached out, somebody had lifted him up and he remembered his head falling against someone else's shoulder. In that short moment before he passed out, he had felt a strange feeling of being... _home_. Home in safety. Probably it was just a hallucination caused by all the smoke that had filled his lungs, but something seemed so familiar. After that, he couldn't remember anything else until he woke up on the football ground of the school, surrounded by his friends.

He locked himself into the restroom and clutched his head in his hands. Why, why, did he react so strongly when Itachi was around? His confusion had grown so much for the past days and he didn't know what to think anymore.

_I have met you somewhere before, I could swear on it. But where? Where? It feels ... like I've known you for so long. And still, I've hardly talked to you.  
_

_I've always felt... like a part of me is missing. A piece of me is gone, and I don't know where to find it. Something is missing, but I don't know what. My family has always felt half. What happened to my dad? Is he even alive? Did he run away when mom got pregnant? Why does she never talk about him? _

_I'm scared. Scared to get too close to anyone, scared to be used and hurt and just thrown away. Like my father must have done to my mother long ago.  
I'm pushing everybody away, because I'm afraid to trust anyone. I don't want them to worry about me. I can't let anyone near me. I can't let them see my inner thoughts, or what I really feel. _

A strange sound outside the door made him flinch and raise his gaze. Suigetsu's nonchalant voice was heard. "Open the door, Sasuke. We need to talk."

"I have a headache. Go away."

He could hear his friend snicker. "Such a typical excuse to skip school. Just so you know, I'm not leaving until you've told me what's wrong."

Sasuke raised his voice. "Get lost!"

"Itachi told me to go after you", Suigetsu said. He waited impatiently outside the door. At first he was only met by silence, and then he heard a strangled groan.

"Please, kill me."

"What's wrong, Smartest Student Of The Year? No matter which problems you have with that Itachi, I'm sure we can sort it out, man."

As he had expected, he had broken down the wall and nothing kept Sasuke from pouring his heart out. "This is not fun! I can't take this anymore! I'm going crazy! I'm – "

"He is kinda creepy, but I don't understand why it would be so hard. I mean, he never scolds _you._"

"You don't understand!" Sasuke hissed. He leaned his head against the wall, feeling crumbled up inside. _I don't wanna feel like this. I don't wanna feel anything at all._

"But then tell me", Suigetsu said. "Naruto and Kiba are also very worried. You haven't been yourself since Itachi came here."

The door opened and Sasuke finally left his hide-out. "I don't wanna talk about it."

Suigetsu shrugged. "Sure. But hey, Sasuke –"

The black-haired looked questioningly at him. Suigetsu reached out and touched his shoulder for a moment. "I just want you to know that I'm on your side, no matter which creepy teachers we have and such."

A shadow of a smile played on Sasuke's lips. "I know."

There were not many things that needed to be said between them. They had been best friends for so long and they understood each other quite well. They started walking in a silent agreement of going back to class, when they spotted two familiar figures come running towards them.

Naruto and Kiba stopped in front of Sasuke and Suigetsu. The two latter stared at their friends who supported themselves against the wall and laughed their heads off.

"What's so funny?"

The only thing they heard was: "Panic – anxious attack – French – Ebisu sensei – homework –"

"_Whaaat?"_

"We met our French teacher when we were looking for you", Kiba stuttered – "you know, that creepy _elite_ teacher Ebisu. He is so damn scary! I almost died! You know, he gave me _that _look of disappointment when he realized I didn't understand a word of what he said. Then he started screaming how disappointed he was – " Naruto laughed violently. "I'm so shocked that I can't even -" Kiba and Naruto clutched their heads and continued laughing. Suigetsu tilted his head to the side.

Sasuke raised his eyebrows. "I don't think it's very hard."

"No, because you win the _Smartest Student _competition all the time! This is different! We are fucking _victims _of that teacher and his strict way of teaching! I'm seriously drowning in that shit! _C'est difficile_ as HELL!"

"Study some more and the problem will be solved", Sasuke said calmly and put his hands in his pockets. He was rewarded with glares from his unfortunate friends.

"_LA FERME!_ WE WILL END UP IN MENTAL HOSPITAL BEFORE THIS YEAR IS OVER! WE SERIOUSLY CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! EBISU-SENSEI IS A DICTATOR! DO SOMETHING!"

Suigetsu still didn't understand a thing. "La ferme …?"

"It means 'Shut the fuck up'", Sasuke translated kindly.

"Ohhh, now I see…..! Anyway, my parents scream at me regularly when something goes wrong, so I'm not very sensitive. And they scream at my brother quite often too." Suigetsu rolled his eyes.

"And mom is a hell of a bitch when she gets angry", Naruto remembered and laughed nervously, "But still, I think we died. Ebisu-sensei called me a 'worthless nuisance' and he was really angry with us. But when I showed him a picture of a naked girl, he got a nose-bleed! He is a total pervert! I'm gonna call him Pervy-sensei from now on!"

"No shit. Ebisu-sensei only likes teaching the _elite_, but he is a really weird guy", Suigetsu stated.

At the same moment, said teacher came hurrying towards them as he pushed his black sunglasses further up his face with his middle and index fingers.

"Students! What are you doing here?"

"Can't you see we're studying?" Suigetsu answered innocently. "It's called corridor-studying!"

"Naruto! Kiba-kun! Tell me the six ways of 'I am, you are, he is' etcetera in French!"

Both Kiba and Naruto were panic-stricken and looked wildly for an escape route. Kiba was the one who first spoke up: "Ehhhh…. _shit shit shit_…My brain just stopped working, I think I need to go to a hospital, p-p-pardon …."

"Worthless scum! I, Ebisu, will only teach the elite! Sasuke! Your turn!"

"Je suis, tu es, il est, nous sommes, vous êtes, ils sont", Sasuke reeled off in two seconds.

"_Formidable! Trés bien!"_

Naruto pretended to vomit behind his teacher's back. Sasuke looked as unfazed as usual. Ebisu adjusted his glasses again. "Well, I have to get going, Au revoi-"

"Here, Pervy-sensei." The blonde boy held out a porn photography in front of his teacher. Ebisu literally fainted with blood spurting out of his nose.

_"Let's run!"_

They sprinted back to their classroom. Everybody looked like they just had witnessed an explosion when the four of them entered the room with laughter and excitement. Naruto and Kiba high-fived and got a warningly look from Itachi. Suigetsu and Sasuke sat down and exchanged a happy look.

Everything felt better when he was with his friends. But as soon as Itachi strode over to Sasuke and asked how he felt after his little injury, the mad tension returned.

Sasuke looked down in his book with red cheeks and hoped it was just a temporary thing. But something told him it wasn't.

* * *

.

**Review if you want more! :D**_  
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_.  
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_(lol my French teacher would be proud of me if he saw what I managed to remember xDD)_


	5. How To Forget And Let Go

**Author's Note: First of all I want to thank everybody for the reviews! Also many thanks to the anonymous reviewers. I love writing this story but something I love even more is to read your comments :)**

**Chapter 5: How To Forget And Let Go**

* * *

Dim sunlight of dawn shone in through the window. The morning sun casted it's light upon the almost pedantic order in the room, over a bed and a young man who was taking his shirt off. The light was reflecting in his velvet muscles and his long black hair, hanging loosely down his back. He changed clothes after a whole night out and was now going to have some hours rest before he had to go to work. With a sigh he let his body fall down on the soft sheets and stretched out, stifling a yawn.

He didn't really need much sleep, but the opportunity to be able to shut down the world for a moment was something he wouldn't let pass by. The glowing red color of his eyes faded to its original color now as he looked around the room for a moment. He reached out for something and clutched it carefully for a moment. He stared with tenderness at the magazine. It said: _Genius 13-year-old wins the 'Smartest Student Competition' third year in a row! Sasuke Uchiha, the pride of Konoha Middle School. _How many times he had slept with the magazine tight to himself, finally seeing a sparkle of hope. This was his ticket to find what he had been searching for for eleven years now.

Itachi closed his eyes and fell into a light slumber. In his heart, he was mourning endlessly for his lost brother, for the love that he had suppressed for so long time. Maybe it was time for them to find each other again.

_Don't worry, otouto. Nii-san has finally found you._

_**xbxUxbxBxexLx9x7x**  
_

For the 7th-graders at Konoha's middle school it was not easy times. Relationships and feelings of attraction and anger were thick in the air and Itachi's presence was making everyone behaving even more strange.

Sasuke struggled every day against his strange feelings and he felt as if he was slowly going crazy. It was impossible to keep his grades up, he was losing sleep and could only manage to get a few hours of restless sleep each night.

_What is this feeling? _ He didn't know why his heart beat so strongly every time Itachi just asked him if he needed help or how it was going. Almost two weeks had passed but nothing had changed. His friends also started to notice it and both Suigetsu and Naruto teased him for how his cheeks would occasionally start to heat just because Itachi had told him his result of his last test. Sasuke had started to work less on the lessons because he was involuntary day dreaming the most of the time.

He had become cack-handed and distracted, and for each day it was harder to ignore the strong feelings coursing through his veins every time he saw _him.  
_ His own goddamn teacher. _That's perverse and weird, _Sasuke told himself over and over again. But he couldn't ignore it any longer. Suddenly he was excited about school – no, about a certain lesson. He lay awake for hours at night and just tried to remember everything – what had Itachi said today? What had he done, how had he moved? And then he realized what he was thinking and he wanted to punch himself.

More than once he felt an almost irresistible temptation to skip the math lessons just to not have to meet Itachi's breathtaking gaze. But another part of him wanted so badly to go there and just watch him the whole time. He refused to recognize the feelings growing inside of him, but his body was talking its own language and somehow he understood what was happening.

After a certain tense day under the secretive Itachi's supervision, he still felt distracted and feeble when he came home. Mikoto frowned concerned and put a hand over his forehead, checking his temperature. He shook her hand away. "I'm fine, stop fussing."  
While they ate dinner, Sasuke noticed that she was still examining him, worried. Just when he was about to complain she spoke up: "How was school today, Sasuke?"

"Fine."

Always the same question, the same answer. Mikoto wished that she could reach her son, that she could see what he was really feeling. He rarely told her anything. She put her chopsticks down and sighed. _Even though I've lied brutally to him all this time… still, I think that he is rather happy_, she thought.

Mikoto didn't know how wrong she was.

.

Sasuke was lying in his bed and couldn't sleep, not this night either. He stared up at the ceiling and turned around a thousand times before he found a comfortable position. He still felt as feverish as he had been when his hand had made contact with Itachi's earlier during the day. It must have been an accident; it could not have been planned in any way… right? But how come their hands just _happened _to collide when Itachi innocently reached out to give him back a test? Sasuke had snatched his hand back as if he had burned himself afterwards but Itachi hadn't reacted strongly at all. He had just looked at Sasuke with his deep, secretive eyes and just turned to walk to the next bench.

Sasuke took a deep breath and suddenly tears started to run down his cheeks. He did not know why and he embarrassed started to wipe them away, until he realized that he was alone. All alone. The miserable feeling overwhelmed him and he let his tears run. _You're not a kid anymore Sasuke, get a hold of yourself already_, he told himself over and over, but it didn't help. He gritted his teeth and wondered why he was dying to touch his teacher's hand again… just one more tiny time. He couldn't admit even to himself what he was feeling, but this reaction… why did his heart jump a mile each time Itachi just looked at him?

As he buried his heated face in his pillow he wondered if the rumors were true. May lightning strike him dead if they were.

_I feel attracted… to another boy. Who is much older than me. Mom would go ballistic if she knew. It would be the end of the world, the world war III.  
Maybe I'm sick or something. Yeah, it must be it. I'm a sick little brat who wants attention so badly that I would even go with an older man. I'm a pity.  
_

He slept horrible that night and he woke up a couple of times feeling both ice-cold and boiling inside and over his whole body. But eventually he fell asleep again and when he woke up the next morning he had a permanent blush on his face.

"Little sweetheart", Mikoto said worried and checked his temperature, "You have a fever. You haven't looked well recently. You can't go to school today."

Sasuke supported himself on his elbows and tried to glare at her. "Of course I can, don't be stupid, mom."

"No, you cannot. I'll go call your school, stay in bed."

Sasuke lay down again, mostly because he didn't had energy to argue with his mother. And there he remained like a statue until Mikoto came back.

"Honey do you want me to stay at home with you?"

"No. I'll be fine", Sasuke reassured her although he didn't want to be alone. "You need to go to work."

She caressed his cheek for a moment before she picked up her bag and left the room. "See you later then, darling. I think there is some of the tomato-flavored ice-cream left in the freezer. Make sure to cool yourself down and _promise_ to call me at least three times today! Of course you can call how many times you want but - " When her voice had disappeared down the stairs, he left his room.

Sasuke sat down in the couch in the living room, wrapped tightly in a blanket. That way he would maybe be able to hold on to the warmth of a parent for a bit longer. He stared at the collected photographies standing on the sofa table. Himself as a smiling fat little baby and Mikoto who held him, beaming with joy. Somehow all that seemed so fake. Angrily he turned the frames so he would not have to see his mother's smile.

.

Sasuke was slowly waking up from a restless slumber when he heard voices. Confused he sat up in the couch and realized that his mom had come home. As he slowly walked out in the hallway he saw that the apartment door was slightly open and that his mother was talking with someone on the other side. It was just one of their neighbors, he realized. He went to the kitchen and picked up some tomatoes. Some tomato ice-cream now wouldn't hurt. Actually it wouldn't hurt at all. He decided to ask his mom if she wanted some too (not that he would ever share with anyone, but anyway) when he heard what they were talking about.

"… Teenage depression, hormones … he is going through a rather tough period right now, I think…"

Sasuke froze when he realized that they were talking about him.

He heard the female neighbor's voice: "And the absence of a father must have been tough for him..."

Mikoto answered: "It's a shame that I have him growing up like this, but after all, his father has never been present in his life."

"It's not good for a child to grow up without a male role model. Girls who don't grow up with a father, it's they who become …"

"I know. Those girls seek the company of older men as a substitute for the father love they never got. And they say that boys who miss a male role model become aggressive and violent as grown-ups, because they never knew who to be like. It's they who become…"

Rapists and criminals. Sasuke clenched his teeth. Here they were, judging him. Was it his fault that he never had a dad? Did they want him to hear what they said? Did they want him to think that everything was his own fault? Maybe it was.

He went to his room and sank down on his bed. _I also have a life. Any objections, mom?_

Mikoto entered his room a moment later. "Hi, darling, how are you feeling?"

Sasuke turned against her with empty eyes. She didn't notice it however; she made her way over to him and put her hand over his forehead. "Your fever has drooped, thank goodness", she said relieved.

Sasuke covered his face with his hands, fed up with everything. Then:

"Why did Dad leave us? Why did he let me live this life?"

She froze beside him. Time froze, the world stopped, and everything turned to ice.  
Then she relaxed a bit and tenderly stroked his hair. "Darling, I … I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes, you do know", Sasuke hissed and looked at her. "You and your fucking next-door-friend know! Why I'm suddenly sentenced to become an aggressive, violent rapist just because I don't know the name of the man who made you fucking pregnant!"

He clutched his head in his hands and wondered if there was a way to force a heart attack upon himself. But he was thoroughly shocked when Mikoto embraced him in the next moment. She hugged him tightly and rocked him slightly, as she always did when he was younger and couldn't sleep.

"Sweetie, I do not doubt you at all, and I've never done it. You are the best kid I could ever have and I know you will reach great heights someday. I believe in you, Sasuke. I want you to know how _damn _proud I am that you're my son", she whispered with tears in her eyes. "I love you."

He leaned his head against her chest and sighed. He may not have a father, but he had a mother that was the heroine of the world.

After a while she spoke up, with a low voice that almost sounded bitter:

"I was the one who left him. But long before I took that step, he left me. He left you. He left _us._"

___**xbxUxbxBxexLx9x7x**_  


_.  
_

"Welcome back, Sasuke", Itachi greeted him the day after when the students took their seats for the math lesson. "Your absence has been rather noticeable."

Sasuke frowned. What was that supposed to mean?

He worked hard the whole time and was happy to find that it was easier to focus now when he had been away from school for a day. He looked up at his teacher a couple of time but fortunately Itachi never met his gaze. He didn't walk around among the students today; he was just standing at the board and skimmed through a pile of papers, wearing a pair of reading-glasses that were moved to the tip of his nose and seemed able to fall off him any moment.

Sasuke glanced at the clock. Twenty minutes left… fifteen… ten …

"The class is dismissed", Itachi said and broke the silence. He seemed to have some kind of respect with him, even more than Kakashi had. Not a single one of the students dared to interrupt him when he talked or disturb his classes. He put his glasses away and swept a bang out of his face.

Everybody immediately stood up, relieved that the hour was over.

"But I would like Sasuke to stay for a bit", he announced and approached said teen's desk.

Everybody gaped, shocked. Sasuke had never _ever _gotten detention before. Naruto wolf-whistled and Kiba rolled his eyes.

"What did I do?" Sasuke asked, feeling an angry blush start to burn on his cheeks.

He had been so tense for the past days and having to spend an hour alone with the strange Itachi made nothing better.

"You missed some things while you were sick", Itachi said gravely. "I don't want you to get behind the other pupils."

Something told Sasuke that that was only a subterfuge.

As the classroom slowly emptied, Sasuke stared at the man, trying to figure out his secret. Dark, bottomless eyes were examining him closely as if they were trying to look into his very soul. The teen's gaze was drawn to the long, black hair that was hanging loosely and surrounded Itachi's pale face like a curtain.

Sasuke sat down again, feeling sulky. Any teacher of this school knew that Sasuke Uchiha did not need any kind of extra help to catch up. But of course, that strange Itachi did not know that. He was just an inferior. Somehow Sasuke missed Iruka right now.  
When the last students had left, Itachi closed the door behind them. The sound when it closed sounded ominously to the younger boy. He became more nervous and chewed at his pen, staring at his writing pad in an attempt to avoid his teacher's look.

Itachi walked over to him and leaned over his desk. "So, is there anything you need help with, Sasuke?"

Sasuke's irritation defeated his nervousness and he looked up. "No, I made sure to study while I was sick." He used a rather icy tone towards the man, still not forgiving him for giving him extra class. He didn't care that it was rude to speak to a teacher that way, and moreover Itachi seemed to only be six or seven years older than Sasuke himself. "Anyway, this is almost too easy for me."

"I see that you've studied well", Itachi said kindly and pointed at Sasuke's pad, which was covered with scribbles and not a single readable letter. Shit! Sasuke's cheeks became even redder when he realized his mistake.

However, Itachi turned a page and showed Sasuke's proper notes. He didn't make any comment as he skimmed through the content of the pad, and Sasuke did not stop him.

"You're an ambitious student, Sasuke", Itachi said and suddenly looked grave. "You'll become something great in the future. What are you interested in?"

It sounded like an ordinary question for a teacher to ask his pupil, but Sasuke once again got the feeling that it was something more behind it.

"I... I want to become a policeman", Sasuke said hesitantly. "My father was, although I've never met him..."  
It was the only thing Mikoto ever had told him about his dad.

"I see."

Did he just imagine the fierce look in the man's eyes for a moment? It was soon gone, however. Sasuke looked up at him and wondered what the man held inside.

"I won't hold you here the whole afternoon", Itachi spoke up and broke the slightly uncomfortable silence. "You're free to go now."

Sasuke collected his things and headed towards the door. His teacher's voice stopped him a moment later.

"Sasuke?"

"Yes?" He turned half-way around until he could see the silhouette of the young man.

Itachi sounded kind, more accessible that usual. "If there is anything you need help with, just ask me."

"'Kay."

Sasuke left the classroom feeling a bit confused. What was that about, really?

.

"Hey, hey, Kiba?"

"What? Don't bother me, I'm trying to do my work here!"

"How do you spell 'cook'?"

"Hm… c-o-o-c-k I think."

"Really? Thanks, man. But it sounds a bit weird…'you're a really good cock'…" Naruto frowned and looked at the exercises in front of him. He nudged Sasuke who sat beside him, deeply absorbed by his work. "Hey, Sasuke, wakey-wakey! Do you wanna help a friend in trouble? How do you spell cook?"

"Don't bother me", came the emotionless reply.

"Naruto you baka!" came an upset hiss from the other end of the room. Sakura looked like an angry cat. "You can't even spell those basics words! Are you a first grader or what? If you bother them again I'll punch you!"

"Sakura-chan…"

The students were sitting on the floor in the gym room where their English lessons were being held since the fire. Kakashi sat leaned against a stationary bike and read his porn book, not caring at all about the pupils.

"No one is perfect", Kiba stated and angrily scribbled at his writing pad that looked like a dog had toyed with it. "Not even these damned verbs."

"Except the perfectionists", Suigetsu added nonchalantly.

Shino looked up. "These verbs are imperfect but only thirty percent of them are past perfect; also called pluperfect which means of or relating to the pat perfect tense of verbs –"

Suigetsu looked up, obviously annoyed. "For God's sake, Shino! Cut that shit out before my ears die!"

"You are a disgrace to this school", the hooded boy replied emotionless.

"Can you all shut up and let us work?" Sasuke interfered.

Muttering, Kiba and Shino fell silent again.

On the other side of the slightly open door, a certain young man was standing. He smiled faintly at the sound of one student's voice and then let the door close, perfectly soundless. He brushed his black hair out of his face as he left the room far behind him.

**xxx**

Nothing but silence met seven-year-old Itachi when he opened the front door to his home.

"I'm home", he announced. He could suddenly hear a faint whimper from the living room, followed by the sound of a faint cry. He threw his shoes off in panic, _is Sasuke alright?_

He rushed there. "Mom? Sasuke?"

Sasuke was sitting on the floor, unharmed, thank goodness. Mikoto was sitting on the couch, crying silently in her own hands. On the floor was a puddle of blood, and his terrified eyes followed the crimson stains until he saw that it was trickling down her legs.

And then it all crashed down upon him. Fear creeping into the very bones of his body, shame, guilt, sorrow, helplessness and anger mixing up in his blood and made it harder to breathe. The happy day at school was blown away. This sorrowful reality, his reality, his home-world, crashed down upon him. This was his life, a life he couldn't escape from. At home a war was eternally waging, and although he never wanted to return, he had to.

Itachi saw an empty bottle of alcohol lying on the floor.

Dad had drunk again.

Now he just felt like a small, small child that wanted to be protected so badly, but there was no shelter to have. And he had another child in his life that he needed to protect.

"I-Ita-achi..." Mikoto's quiet voice called him and he stepped over to her.

"Are you alright, mother?"

She hugged him tightly. "Don't worry, darling. I'm fine. How- how was school today?" Her voice distorted to a bunch of raw sobs, and Sasuke yelped distressed.

Itachi hurried to pick him up; he pressed the little boy body tight against his own and nuzzled his brother's wet cheek. "Mother, Sasuke is hungry. When was the last time he ate?"

"Wh-what?" She looked up at them, distracted.

Itachi walked over to the kitchen that was very messy. The fridge was empty save for a single bottle of milk.

"I borrowed it from the kind lady next door", Mikoto mumbled. "But Sasuke refused to eat." Itachi wondered if their neighbor had noticed anything.

Itachi started to feed the baby. Sasuke clung to him and mumbled "'Niki! Nii-san!" still with cheeks that were wet with tears. After a while he threw up a bit against his brother's shoulder and whimpered miserably.

When Sasuke had fallen asleep Itachi turned towards his mother.

"Mom -"

Then he saw the raw, glowing red claw mark on her neck. "What -" he asked appalled.

_Daddy don't you understand the damage you've done  
For you it's just a memory  
But for me it stills lives on _

"It's nothing, Itachi. I'm fine." But as she spoke she turned around and touched her wound. Her shoulders started to tremble again. Itachi could feel red anger fill his head and cloud his vision, just how _that_ man dared to hurt his mom like this.

A loud crash was heard from the hallway when the front door was kicked open, making both mother and son very alert.

"_You fucking whore -"_

Dad was furious again. And Mom would take all his anger on her own.

Itachi hurried upstairs to save Sasuke from the oncoming fight. Long after that, as the night passed by, he remained crouched in his room with his sleeping brother at his chest, peering out through a crack in the door. He heard the violent thuds and shouts, but blocked them from his mind.

He wanted to scream at his father to stop, to hurt him instead of their kind, tender mom. But Mikoto hated it when Itachi took the strikes in her place. She wanted to keep them safe, as much as he could.  
But every time their father's fist would hit their mother's face with the intention to hurt and crush and destroy, something utterly precious would shatter within them all.

_Bruises will fade, but the pain will never go away. _


	6. Unsatisfied

**~Pieces Of You~  
**

**Chapter 6: Unsatisfied  
**

* * *

Sasuke had started to view the math lessons as a safe oath, a little bit of peace in his gray life. He felt safe with Itachi, and after the first weeks it became easier to be in the same room as him. He didn't know if it was because he somehow accepted his feelings, or if Itachi's gentle attitude towards him affected him so deeply. He stopped blushing so violently and it instead turned into an ever-present pink color that gave his face more attitude. Itachi seemed to enjoy the change in his face color as well.

It was rather obvious to his classmates that he was constantly treated specially, but most of them were too dazzled by their teacher to really care. The sour exception was Shino and Neji of course, but Sasuke couldn't care less about them.

Suddenly it was not enough with those few classes they had with Itachi each week. Sasuke was seriously considering something that he had never thought about before – lowering his grades on purpose so that he would need extra help from his current favorite teacher. Even if Itachi never reprimanded him if he spent a whole lesson daydreaming, it was obvious that he didn't like it when Sasuke didn't study.

Sasuke's perfect opportunity to get extra time with Itachi appeared a dull day when he and his friends were on the run from their most hated teacher.

"Shit shit shit! It's o-v-e-r now! Pervy-sensei coming this way! Run! Take cover!" Naruto and Kiba rushed down the corridors, closely followed by an amused Suigetsu and a bored Sasuke. They heard Ebisu's voice behind them:

_"Today I'm going to teach you elite math!"_

Sasuke looked at Naruto and frowned. "You know, mathematics is not bad for your health."

"Yes it is!" the blonde boy inquired dramatically. "Can't you see how much I'm coughing? And I think I have a fever! I'm _allergic _to equations and homework! "

"Desperate?" Suigetsu asked.

Kiba and Naruto were both panic-stricken. "We're going to get slaughtered and murdered and finished off! We will die like Jews in a concentration camp! Bring in the gas, we're the sacrificed lambs…"

"Sacrificial lambs", Sasuke corrected. "But seriously, he _is _not a dictator."

"What the hell do you know! I swear he was -"

Kiba shook his head. "Excuse that I ask, but is there anything you don't know, Sasuke?"

Suigetsu interfered: "No offense bro, but you would be no match for Itachi. That guy _is _a calculator. "

The black-haired shrugged. His white-haired friend grinned and took a sip from his water bottle. "By the way, isn't it strange with Itachi and Sasuke?"

Sasuke immediately became defensive and glared at his friend. His biggest fear was that someone would find out about his feelings for their teacher. However, Suigetsu continued unfazed:

"I mean, both of them have got the look and the brain which is enough to get the girls. But except being smart-asses, both of them lack any emotion beside the Ultimate Emo Feeling –"

"Stop calling me emo", Sasuke hissed. "For the umpteenth time, I am not!"

Kiba nodded understandingly. "I mean, I've never seen you express any feeling but irritation. And it's the same with Itachi. Don't you guys think?"

"What?"

Sasuke looked from person to person. Suigetsu exchanged a glance with Naruto.

"Well – it's rather obvious, man. It's like you and he are having some kind of private conversation on the math lessons, only by looking at each other."

Sasuke put on an expressionless façade, as he always did when he didn't know how to handle a situation, and put his hands in his pockets.

A moment later he snapped them away. "Wait – where are my keys?"

Naruto grinned broadly. "Oh, I just _happened _to find them somewhere before. And then I think I just _happened _to drop them in the toilet –"

The black-haired boy glared at him. "You're dead, Naruto."

"If you want 'em, run for 'em", the blonde boy shouted and turned around a moment later.

As Sasuke chased after him in break neck speed down the corridors, Suigetsu smiled nonchalantly. "He is slowly turning back to his old self."

"Maybe it just was PMS, as you said", Kiba suggested.

"_Naruto!_ You're _so_ going to regret this!" Sasuke growled and looked wildly in all directions after his blonde friend who suddenly had disappeared. He continued running and suddenly bumped into something – somebody. He looked up and met Itachi's gaze.

"Looking for something?" the man asked.

Sasuke cursed himself silently when his cheeks reddened again. "My keys."

Itachi held them up for a moment and then dropped them in Sasuke's hand. "Here you are."

The younger boy struggled to tear his gaze away from his teacher, and felt the need to spend more time with him when he got an idea.  
_Well done, Sasuke, _his mind congratulated his genialness sarcastically, while his sense wondered why he even bothered.

"Itachi?"

The man seemed to be slightly surprised. "Yes?"

"About what you said the other day …"

"Hm?"

"I think I need help with some math exercises," Sasuke lied and hoped he was able to fool Itachi just a little bit. It was shameful for him to admit that he needed help, but this was the only way. "I realized that I have some things to catch up on."

His heart beat with an almost suffocating force as he waited for a reply. Itachi suddenly spoke up. "You seem to have problem with breathing, do you have a high pulse pressure?"

"No", the younger boy muttered, ashamed to the extent that he thought he would die.

"We can look over some of your exercises already now", Itachi said and relieved Sasuke from the tension that almost killed him. "I don't have any classes right now; how about you?"

Sasuke noticed that although Itachi was speaking very formally - except for his lack of honorifics - his gaze was warm as if they were good friends.

"No" Sasuke said hesitantly and they made their way to the classroom.

This was the beginning of a form of ritual that they would keep up the following week. But that first time when they sat down together and started with the work, Sasuke was overwhelmed. He sat so close to Itachi and was even prepared to act retarded just to get to spend more time with him. He watched Itachi's hands that were so strangely similar to his own holding the pen so gracefully and writing so fast. He could smell the special scent of his teacher that managed to calm his heart whenever it tried to jump out of his chest. And he couldn't get enough. Whenever Itachi stopped in his explanations and looked at him with those kind eyes, Sasuke couldn't even feel his body anymore.

Their private lesson lasted an hour the first time, and the young teen was soon far beyond his grade. They worked well together and Itachi was a splendid teacher, mostly because he knew more than what the work book contained. Sasuke learned fast but occasionally he would forget everything just because their hands happened to make contact. Again.

"I would like to have some more lessons with you", Itachi said with a voice that was more demanding than requesting as Sasuke collected his things at the end of the hour. Sasuke nodded and felt how a big sun was shining in his chest, making him glow with happiness. Itachi smiled at him and reached out his hand.

Sasuke froze and stared at him. Itachi immediately pulled back and his face turned neutral again. "It's time for you to go", he said quietly and stood up as well. "Well done, Sasuke."

"Thanks."

Sasuke felt how the distance between them had extended once again, and he wanted to reach his teacher. Surprising himself he asked: "When do you have time to help me out again?"

Itachi distractedly toyed with an eraser on the desk, but his eyes were utterly focused. "How about tomorrow, after your last class? This classroom is empty then."

Sasuke nodded. He almost stumbled out of the classroom and in his head their conversation was repeating over and over again, and he found himself over-analyzing every single thing. Then it hit him, when he was on his way to the next class. _Wait. Wait wait. "After your last class – this classroom is empty then" - __How did he know -? He knows my schedule? _

He was late to the next class but no one really cared. Kakashi was reading his book as usual, the classroom was in chaos and the students resembled a bunch of kindergarten children. The young Uchiha was quickly initiated in the under-cover war that his friends had started up against each other. They automatically parted into two teams; Sasuke and Suigetsu who had the help of Ino versus Naruto and Kiba.

Sasuke read the note that Suigetsu had gotten from their 'enemies': _IT'S ON, BITCHES. THE WAR HAS BEGUN! With kind regards, Kiba :)  
_He face-palmed. "He can't use the world 'kind regards' in a declaration of war!"

Ino who had participated read her note with a snarl: _You are not as sassy as you think! I hereby declare a sassy match! / With deadly regards, Kiba the King_

She scribbled something down and passed the note to Suigetsu with a snicker._ Stay classy, sassy, and be a smart ass-y. I have just too much awesomeness in my blood. You're not sassy at all. /Ino the Queen_

_"_I'M MORE SASSY THAN YOU!" Kiba shouted.

Kakashi stopped all activity by shutting his book, the ultimate sign of 'shut the fuck up'.

"About your P.E. lesson this afternoon … we're having a different setup today."

"What?" The students stared at him, fearing the worst.

"You are going to have orienteering."

"WHAAAT?" The pupils clutched their heads and groaned in opposition.

"No way!"

"Not today!"

"Sensei I'm allergic to sports!"

"In the woods?"

"You are going straight out into the forest", Kakashi declared calmly. "And because none of you did what you were supposed to do before, you're starting at once."

"What – but what about our lunch, sensei?" Naruto yelled.

Kakashi looked at them. "No one is allowed to eat their lunch until they have found all of the control points. You must learn that breaking the rules is bad." He started to hand out a couple of maps that he had gotten from a cupboard in the gym room. "I hope you still are able to read them; the last class ran into a tsunami or something so they are still a bit wet."

"I like wet things", Naruto grinned.

Karin and Sakura glared daggers at him and Ino rolled her eyes. "God, you're _so _immature, Naruto."

Kakashi then handed out a couple of compasses as he read his children banned book with his free hand. "Sasuke, tell your friends how this sport works."

Sasuke sighed. "You use a map and a compass to navigate yourself in unfamiliar terrains, often moving at speed."

"I like to navigate myself in unfamiliar terrains! Especially with speed!"

"NARUTO! If you say anything else, you're dead! I'll castrate you like they do with pigs, in an apparatus WITHOUT anesthesia! And it's going to hurt like hell!" Sakura roared and punched him. Sasuke sent her an annoyed glance.

"You can start as soon as you've gotten the map and the compass", Kakashi announced when said objects were distributed. "You can split in groups of two."

Everybody stood up with complains and accusations. As they slowly left the building they got sight of the weather.

"Oh common!" Kiba groaned. "It's pouring down outside! Seriously, I'd rather orientate in the middle of Sahara!"

The scattered groups slowly spread over the schoolyard. Naruto, Kiba, Suigetsu and Sasuke examined their maps without any interest as they walked over the gray concrete. Sasuke pulled his rain coat up and suddenly spotted a long, black-clothed figure come walking towards them. He stared in astonishment and hope. _Itachi?_

Their teacher was dressed in a black rain coat that emphasized his masculine features, and from under the hood a pale face was visible, surrounded by strands of black hair that were slightly wet. Sasuke stared at his face through the falling rain and suddenly felt as if he was about to lose his ground. There was something so painfully familiar with that face under a hood, but he couldn't relate to it. A moment later the strange feeling disappeared and Itachi looked at him with the same friendly smile as before.

"Hello, Sasuke."

_Why is he only greeting me?  
_

"...Hi."

"What are you doing here, Itachi?" Kiba asked.

The man smirked a bit. "Since I have no classes right now, I figured that I would come and see how my lovely students are doing."

"Very kind of him", Sakura muttered where she was crouching together with her friend under a pink umbrella. "Don't you think, Ino." The blonde girl sent the man a curious glance that was mixed with anger. None of the girls had been treated very well by him.

Itachi raised one of his hands and swept his bangs out of his face, and Sasuke was hit like a flash of lightning again.

_The sound of rain… a soft hand caressing his forehead… I'm back, Sasuke._

Terrified he stared at the ground. _What is this?_

"Let's go", he snapped to Suigetsu and almost ran away, eager to get out of Itachi's sight. "Hey, wait!" his best friend shouted as ran after him. "Are you so hungry that you can't even wait for me, man?"

Sasuke didn't answer. He clutched the map firmly in his hands and left his teacher far behind him. His heart pounded wildly and he felt slightly nauseous as he ran into the woods that surrounded their school. The ground became muddy and he stumbled, but he didn't care for a moment.

"You know, you can't hide it for me", Suigetsu panted as he tried to keep up with his pace, "I know that you are –"

"Shut up!" Sasuke shouted and stopped dead in his tracks. His friend looked at him with his purple eyes glimmering through the rain.

A moment they remained grave and motionless, before Suigetsu suddenly laughed. "It's okay dude, I know you're attracted to him. It's not so abnormal, I mean – but maybe he is just a sick pedophile who wants to get into your pants!"

"Dammit!" Sasuke clenched his teeth and continued again, torn up inside. He ran blindly into the forest and ignored his friend's words.

"Sasuke! Dude, come back here! We're never getting our lunch if you continue like this! I didn't mean to offend you, okay?"

When he finally caught up to the black-haired, the latter was sitting on a stone among some bushes and stared emptily in front of him.

"Sasuke! Seriously, say something!" Suigetsu leaned against a tree and noticed that his water bottle was empty. He cursed savagely and waited for a reply.

"Hello, Saaaaasuke, the world is calling! Are you in there?"

He was only rewarded with an annoyed glance. "I'm not talking to you. In case you haven't noticed, I'm _ignoring _you."

"No. You're not ignoring me because if you were ignoring me you should not have talked to me in the first place."

"Shut up!"

"Hey, let's get this over with and go home." Suigetsu took the map from his numb hands and looked at it bewildered. "Hm…. Let's see… where are we now?" He turned the map around a couple of times and frowned. "I really hope you kept track of where you were going, Sasuke."

The other boy finally looked up at him. "I? I wasn't the one who should do that!"

"You had the map!"

"And you had the compass!" Sasuke snapped and grabbed the map. "I can't believe it! We must have been going straight at east and now –"

"I don't know, you better handle that." Suigetsu sat down on the stone beside him and stretched out. "I'll take a nap meanwhile. Wake me up when you figure it out."

Sasuke ignored him and stared at the map. "I don't know where we are."

"So what are we supposed to do?" the white-haired said and chewed at his thumb nail in lack of anything better to bite into. "No matter how we look at it, we're helplessly and unforgivable lost. If only Shikamaru was here... we'd need a genius now."

"We have to try, at least."

They slowly started walking in a vague direction, with Sasuke as the map reader and Suigetsu who tried to figure out which direction they were going. Sasuke felt shielded in the forest; high trees were surrounding him from all sides and blocked the most of the rain, and the world around them was glowing green and living. When they had walked for about two hours without finding a single control point and neither the way back, both of them were hungry, annoyed and worried in their own way.

They stopped in front of a big rock and realized that they were not going to find the way out. They sat down on a stone, silent, and wondered what they were going to do. Sasuke tried to figure out their location, but it was meaningless as they didn't have a clue where they were. Continue walking would only make it worse.

He didn't know how many hours had passed when Suigetsu started biting into trees in frustration. Sasuke who now was freezing cold had never been so happy in his whole life when he suddenly spotted a black-clothed man, walking towards them through the rain. Itachi had his hood pulled down and his long hair was hanging in loose strands around him. Something red faded in his eyes as he approached them. Sasuke looked down in his lap and his body reacted instantly. He was surprised when Itachi stopped right in front of him.

Happily he looked up only to see the dark, almost dangerous glimpse in his teacher's narrowed eyes. Sasuke's smile died away.

"Come with me", Itachi said and spoke only to the black-haired. Suigetsu walked over to them and tilted his head to the side.

Sasuke hesitantly started walking with Itachi as a tall, shielding shadow at his side. The older boy took the map from him and he confidently guided them back the way they had come from. Sasuke wondered why Itachi seemed to be so angry and a defiant blush started to burn on his cheeks.

"What's wrong?" he blurted out, upset. "Are you angry because you had to come to search for me?"

Itachi barely sent him a glance and he didn't sound happy. "It's getting dark. Did you plan to continue walking even deeper although you didn't know where you were?"

Sasuke was taken aback and he didn't know what to say. Instead he silently gritted his teeth and followed the man back. They walked in silence with Suigetsu trailing some yards behind them, and Sasuke wondered how long he could take it.

_Say something! Say something! _He clutched his head in his hands again as he walked; it had became a habit of his to do so, but all he could think of was endless questions.  
They finally arrived at the school, where Kakashi and some students were assembled in the falling darkness. Naruto rushed over to them, closely followed by Kiba.

"Where the heck have you been? Kakashi-sensei was about to send out a searching squad! We thought that you had run into a tsunami for real!" Naruto shouted.

Kiba rolled his eyes. "_You _thought that."

"I didn't, believe it!"

Suigetsu was glomped by his anxious girlfriend and soon had his face full of red hair. The other girls in their class, except Hinata, were there and looked anxiously at Sasuke.

The young Uchiha could only focus on one single person. Itachi seemed to be a bit calmer now when they were near the school, but Sasuke didn't like his stern facial expression. Sasuke couldn't help himself; he held himself close to the elder.

"Are you alright?" Itachi asked quietly so only Sasuke was able to hear him.

Sasuke nodded, feeling a bit closer to him now. His teacher suddenly reached out and placed his hand on his shoulder. The younger boy felt as if an electric shock went through his arm and through his whole body in a fraction of a second and made his heart cramp. Itachi smiled faintly at his dazed facial expression. "Take care."

Then he pulled back and simply turned around. Sasuke watched as his teacher walked away from the school, with doubt and confusion filling his heart.

Itachi was already so far away… and Sasuke couldn't take it anymore. He suffered from this; he suffered from this kind of unsatisfied, desperate and shameful so far unreturned love. He felt it now stronger now than ever as he watched Itachi's disappearing back.

He was deeper in love than he never thought he could be, and it was driving him mad. He didn't know what made him rush forward in the next moment, but he grabbed Itachi's wrist and halted him. The elder looked at him with unfeigned surprise in his dark eyes for a moment, and it soon turned into something else, but Sasuke wasn't letting it dazzle and immobilize him this time.

"Thank you for finding us."

Itachi's gaze changed. The look in his eyes became warm and kind, reflecting Sasuke's own feelings. The younger boy felt his stomach muscles tighten at that look… as if Itachi wanted him too. However, his teacher remained calm and collected. "Not at all, Sasuke. I'm glad you're safe."

Sasuke stared at him for some moments, feeling that strange safety wrap itself around him. Why did he feel so... _protected_ when he was with the older man?  
However, a moment later Itachi broke the contact between their eyes.

"Well, see you tomorrow then."

This time Sasuke stood still as he watched his teacher leave. His gaze was still filled with frustration, but there was also affection. He couldn't keep himself from admiring Itachi from behind. Although he knew that his friends were watching him, he couldn't care less. Maybe Itachi felt the same and that was enough to satisfy him right now.

The older boy smiled to himself as he left the school behind him. Right now he was hearing another voice in his head:  
_You'll become a big brother, Itachi, and I feel that I can entrust you with that.  
_He put his hands in his pockets and straightened his back, shaking some black hair out of his face. His strong feelings were blossoming inside of him, but he couldn't let them out just yet. But soon...

* * *

.

**Reviews are loved!**


	7. What Are You To Me?

**A/N: Usually I don't write my reviews replies here, but here we have some things I think everyone should know:  
**

**MeiMeiaru8:** Sorry! My bad! It's confusing sometimes, with not being a native English speaker and such. So as you wish: To all the people from America: Rubber means Eraser! (I had no idea of any other meaning - I'm completely innocent! *cough cough* x3)

**LadyMartel4000: **Yes, there will be ItaSasu – so technically there will be incest. But no yaoi/exciplit things in this story though! More like 'bromance' and such, but I can't reveal more now. I can promise a lot of gayness, though ^^

**To everyone: **Thank you so much for your reviews! It means a lot!  
On with the story:

**Chapter 7: What Are You To Me?  
**

* * *

Kankuro took a deep breath and passed his cigarette to Temari. She adjusted her four mini ponytails for a moment before she nonchalantly received it.

"What is that fly doing here?" she asked as a little boy who barely reached to her waist approached them.

"Smoking is strictly prohibited", little Konohamaru announced with a scared, high-pitched voice. "Please quit at once or I'll have to report you to the principal."

Kankuro snorted scornfully and sent him an annoyed glance. "I'm not afraid of the principal, you little shit."

His sister calmly took another breath and inhaled the smoke deeply. "Go back to kindergarten, kiddo."

"I'm not in kindergarten! I'm in third grade! If you don't quit smoking I'll have to report you", Konohamaru yelled. "I'm the grandchild of the president, so it's my duty –"

The older boy swiftly reached out and grabbed Konohamaru's shirt and lifted him up. "I don't care if you're the grandchild of God; I smoke as much as I fucking want. Don't act cocky or I'll crush you like a fly. Do you know who I am? I'm Kankuro of the beaten brats and I rule this schoolyard."

The blonde girl rolled her eyes. "If we get caught, remember that I had nothing with this to do."

"Put me down!" little Konohamaru yelled. "I'm the grandchild of the –"

Kankuro laughed whole-heartedly.

"Stop it! HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! DON'T YOU DARE–" Naruto shouted as he came running towards them, closely followed by Konohamaru's two friends. Suigetsu and Karin followed soon after and last Sasuke.

"Look, reinforcements", Kankuro scorned. "Now the kids can get together and play."

"Konohamaru is like a little brother to me! If you hurt him, you're screwing with me!" Naruto announced and rushed over to them.

Karin started up a glare competition against Temari. Sasuke stood in the background, bored, with his hands in his pockets and nothing else to do.

"Let go of him!" Naruto repeated angrily. He hurried forward but the large boy in front of him pulled his fist back and raised it to punch Konohamaru, who was wriggling like a scared bunny in his grip.

"Do you understand!?" Naruto shouted. "If you hurt my friend, the war has begun!"

"Your _friend?" _Kankuro laughed and lowered his hand, distracted by the people in front of him. "You mean your pet? He looks like a little hamster, crouching in fear for its predator!"

"Even if he was a hamster, I wouldn't let you touch him! I mean–"

"I'm not interested in listening to your rambling. When I'm done with you guys, you won't be able to speak anymore."

Realizing that it was a hopeless cause, Sasuke picked up a stone in the next moment and threw it at the older boy. Kankuro froze when it hit his hand and dropped Konohamaru.

"Disappear from our school." Sasuke's voice was cold.

As the youngest boy was helped to his feet by Naruto, the black-haired boy received many glares for his little "rescue action." Suigetsu sent him a somewhat annoyed glance as Karin started to squeal in the next moment: "You're so cool, Sasuke!"

"Naruto nii-chan, you're not as cool as Sasuke nii-chan. He always scares the bad guys away!" Konohamaru yelled to a rather pissed-off blonde.

Kankuro wasn't pleased either. He took a malicious step forward and glared daggers at the black-haired boy. "_'Disappear from our school_'", he imitated Sasuke angrily. "Who do you think you are, you foolish little prick? To mock me… Kankuro…"

Sasuke didn't feel an ounce of fear, though. Maybe his arrogance had gotten the best of him, but he just wasn't the one to fear anyone. He just pulled his hand out from his pockets and measured Kankuro with his eyes. He was not into physical fights, but apparently this boy was not going to accept any battle based on only cold words.

"Why do we always have to kick the hot guys' asses?" Temari asked carelessly and put out her cigarette. "Remember, I'm not going to take the blame when that kid is lying in the hospital with a crushed spleen and poison in his veins."

Kankuro pulled his sleeves back, slowly and dramatically. "I'm going to punch you until you're nothing but a lifeless doll", he snarled to Sasuke. "Then comes the poison."

"He sounds like Sasori-sensei", Moegi whispered as she and Udon together with their friend Konohamaru crouched behind Naruto, who looked as he himself was about to piss his pants.

"Take it easy, okay? There's no need to -" Suigetsu tried nervously and stood in front of Karin. Sasuke was the only one unmoving.

"You've got nothing on us!" Karin hissed and glared at Kankuro and his sister behind her boyfriend's shoulder. Then her gaze turned to Temari. "I've got a bigger chest than you anyway."

Rage flashed in the blonde girl's eyes for a moment, but she outwardly kept her cool. "You wish", she said nonchalantly and examined Karin, who literally was about to explode with anger.

They were interrupted by the call that told everyone that the next class was starting. They started to withdraw from the schoolyard, relieved. Kankuro stood right in front of Sasuke and grabbed his shirt threateningly. The younger boy still didn't react as he was shaken rather roughly.

"Next break, you're dead. I rule this schoolyard, got it?"

Sasuke didn't move his gaze away and he still didn't show a single emotion. Kankuro finally let go of him and angrily watched as the younger students made their way back to the school.

"That annoying brat", he muttered. "But I will make him pay."

Suddenly something heavy hit him from behind. He was barely aware of Temari's scared gasp. Kankuro saw stars and as he hit the concrete, he could feel another hit to his face that made his mouth fill with blood. Automatically he spat it out and then without thinking wiped his mouth with his sleeve. As he struggled to get on his feet, he realized with an ice-cold feeling that was creeping down his spine that they were not alone.

The voice he heard next was not angry, but it held a confidence and a threat that was both intimidating and aggravating. "If you're interested in keeping your life…"

Kankuro received the final blow with open eyes, and all he saw was two dots of glowing red in a pale face surrounded by black hair.

"Stay away from Sasuke."

**xxx**

Kakuzu dragged his aggravated and blood-soaked partner across the school-yard. Moreover, Hidan had a sword driven through his chest but that didn't seem to affect the Jashinist.

"For the last motherfucking time Kakuzu, I'm not fucking unfaithful with Jashin!"

"Why do you always bring this up whenever we need to discuss something?"

"Not my fault, you dickhead. Here I was, trying to sacrifice myself for Jashin's sake, but apparently he didn't like the amount of people I sacrificed before to make Him happy."

"You're starting to sound like Deidara. Why don't you go together and blow people up to please your 'God?"

"Personally, I can't stand that motherfucking blonde whore. And I fucking love pleasing Jashin, you know that."

"Which proves you're unfaithful!" Kakuzu snarled.

"For Satan's sake, Kakuzu! Cut that fucking shit out – how am I supposed to fuck my own God? – and you know that I'm–"

"You're what?"

"Never fucking mind." Hidan suddenly spotted Itachi on his way back into the school.

"Hey you! Hottie, are you a guy or a chick? I don't mind either though–"

The black-haired man didn't turn around. "I'm not in the mood, Hidan" he said, supporting the statement by seeming prepared to kill everybody within a ten yards radius. "Save your death for another day."

"Well, you look damn similar to a gurl!" Hidan shouted after him. Kakuzu put his hand over his mouth. "Last time you said that to him, you ended up in a hospital with every bone in your body broken", he grumped. "Can't you be careful even for once?"

Hidan struggled to pull his hand away and let out a flood of muffled curses. "Well, the only fucking bone he didn't break was my boner."

"Shut up or I'll kiss you."

"What… did you fucking say, you motherfucker?"

"Er… I said 'shut up or I'll kill you.'"

"Well, it didn't fucking sound like that, 'Kuzu."

.

"Do you know a bit better now how this works?" Itachi asked kindly. Sasuke nodded. "Yeah. I've learnt so much these… how many times have we been having these kinds of lessons?"

"Only three times", Itachi replied instantly. "I'm expecting to teach you some more, though."

Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "Am I below average?"

Itachi smiled and swept one of his bangs out of his face. "No, not at all. I'm rather thinking about helping you out some extra so you can deepen your knowledge."

After a moment he added sincerely: "I like teaching you; you learn so fast."

It was late afternoon and they sat side by side in their empty Math classroom with Sasuke's Math book and his writing pad as the only company. Sasuke didn't think it was uncomfortable to be so close to Itachi anymore. He stared at his teacher's slender hand and reached out before he could stop himself.

"Your hands–" he began.

The man looked at him with slight surprise. "What about them?"

Sasuke didn't answer. Silently he let his own pale hand rest beside Itachi's. The silence seemed to vibrate in the room as they stared at the desk in front of them.

Their hands were identical. The only difference was Itachi's slight darker skin color, but it was hardly noticeable. Everything – from every single curve of their nails, from the form and the slimness of their fingers, the way their fingers spread – it was the same.

Sasuke could feel that the man was looking at him, but suddenly he couldn't turn his head to read his face. Maybe he didn't dare to.

It must not mean anything, he thought. Hands look very similar in general. But _this _similarity… it was as if someone had limned Itachi's hands and then given the same features to Sasuke.

Sasuke sat next to the elder, and he was dying inside. Dying to touch his teacher's hand, to feel that smoothness against his own skin… dying to look into his eyes again. But he was ashamed. Itachi must realize how sick he was to feel this kind of twisted attraction towards his own teacher. Maybe he already knew.

But how could it feel so familiar to be by his side?

_I have met you somewhere before… I could swear on it. In the deepest depths of my mind, far away, somewhere in the dusty corners of my blurry memories… maybe even before I was thrown into this world… before I had seen the light of the day…. You were there. It feels like… I've known you for all eternity, and beyond that. Long before I knew myself, before I got my life… it feels like you were there, protecting me… even when I was so small that one would need a microscope to see me._

_And yet, I know that it's impossible. It's absurd. _

"What are you thinking about?"

Sasuke looked up and – damn it – his cheeks just had to choose that moment to glow like a traffic light. In the light falling in from the window Itachi was glowing more than he had ever seen him do before. The younger boy shook his head in a fruitless attempt to clear his mind.

"It's impossible", he spoke out, knowing that Itachi didn't understand what he meant. "It can't be." _How can I have met you before? I didn't even know about your existence a month ago. _

The man smiled and his hand, still resting on Sasuke's bench, came dangerously close to the younger boy's fingers. "Things that you thought was impossible can turn out to be more possible than you think."

Sasuke leaned closer, spell-bound by the man's voice. "I don't know why I'm spending time with you, when I don't have to. But I just want to. And I don't know why. Mom would kill me if she knew. I mean, I don't _know _you and you're so much older, but still it feels like… I've known you for my whole life."

He silenced and looked at Itachi. "Is something wrong?" _Dammit, I shouldn't have said anything at all. He probably thinks I need to go to a mental hospital. _

"Sasuke" - the young teen loved how he said his name - "how is your mother doing?"

Sasuke froze inside. What kind of question was that, out of nowhere?

"She's fine", he answered when he had recovered a bit from the surprise.

Itachi sent him a gentle smile. "That is good to know."

Sasuke tilted his head to the side, confused. "Why?"

Itachi chuckled. "How forthright you are. You're rather foolish, Sasuke. But I guess it's a part of your charm."

A part of Sasuke was glowing inside with happiness. The one that had fantasized about something like that for so long wasn't even shocked. While that happy part of him couldn't understand that Itachi had said something like that – _"It's a part of your charm" – _it must have meant that Itachi felt something for him too, right?

The other part was a bit pissed – to be called blunt like that. He pouted instinctively, like he always did when he was huffy. He did not understand why Itachi said so strange, unexpected things all the time. And he could never seem to answer Sasuke's questions.

But when he saw the man's tender smile he forgot to sulk. Itachi must see the two parts inside the younger boy colliding in his eyes, but yet he just smiled. Sasuke leaned closer, not knowing why he felt so strong feelings towards the other.

"Just answer one question of mine, Itachi."

"What do you want to know?"

"Why do you treat me like this? You never talk with any of the other students, and you _never _smile at anyone besides me. But you …"

Itachi reached out and carefully touched Sasuke's hair. The younger was frozen, shocked, and he could feel his body react with heat and tension as well as dizziness.

"I'm… fond of you, Sasuke."

The younger boy watched the warm, caring expression on the man's face and he couldn't even reach a higher happiness. He couldn't believe it actually was happening, but the almost painful feeling of his heartbeat all the way up in his head reminded him well enough that it was. He hardly dared to breathe as Itachi carefully cupped his chin in his hand. He loved this moment, but somewhere inside of him he knew it wasn't moral. They were two boys, to begin with…

What he felt right now could only be pure attraction. Could such strong feelings really exist? But after all, he was the living evidence. He took a deep breath and Itachi's unique scent filled his heart. He leaned up, not wanting to wait any longer._ Fuck morals. _

"No, Sasuke", came the soft but firm reply. Itachi's eyes were strained and he lowered his hand again.

"What…? Why not?" the younger boy asked angrily. His pout returned unconsciously.

"We can't… I can't. And it's rather late. Now you should go home before your mother becomes worried."

"I'm not a kid, goddamn it!"

Suddenly Itachi looked very amused. He leaned over until his lips were right at Sasuke's ear. "Yes you are", he teased. The younger boy was frozen and he felt how his whole body was drenched in tingling feelings. "A rather foolish one, moreover."

Sasuke angrily took his bag and left the room.

.

Itachi stood up and leaned against the wall. He pictured Sasuke in his mind, how he made his way out of the school in that adorable huffy mood.

_Sasuke… _his sweet little Sasuke. His heart was strained but it did what he forced it to do; to suppress his own feelings. He lifted one of his hands and carefully caressed it with his other, pretending that he could finally get to touch Sasuke for more than a moment… to be able to touch him, just touch his hand or stroke his hair, without having any reason to. All these years of longing… of yearning, of dying, of suffering… Sasuke was his light and would forever be. He never would have known it was possible to get so attached to another being, if he hadn't been for these past weeks.

The past years Sasuke had only existed as a far away goal, a mirage, a dream. And now he was here… he had taken shape and Itachi's attachment to him had almost turned to some kind of obsession. And his mother... Words couldn't describe how much he missed her. Her unconditional love and care, something he had been living without for what seemed an eternity. But at least, Sasuke had it.

Itachi closed his eyes and let out a slightly trembling breath.

_Fugaku was furious; he was red in his face and he glared daggers at his family members. Sasuke sat on the floor, helpless and scared, when the man advanced on him and roughly lifted him up. The baby yelled to high heaven and Itachi rushed forward to save him while Mikoto continued to beg and plead, crying. Fugaku shook Sasuke roughly while the baby continued to scream. Itachi was white in his face from anger._

_Don't you dare…to touch him!_

_Sasuke squirmed wildly and his little face was covered with tears, but he stood no chance against his father's strong arms. Itachi didn't know what happened, at first he was only rushing towards them, a second later he had Sasuke in his arms and Fugaku took a step back, shocked, with blood running from his mouth. It soon turned to mad rage however, and Itachi had no choice but to flee. Sasuke clung to him with almost suffocating force, terrified. _

_Itachi rushed to the bathroom and locked the door; the only safe destination he had right now. He could hear his father's heavy steps following, and a heavy pounding on the door. But he knew that he was safe – for the moment. He sank down on the floor and realized that the two-year-old had wet himself from fear. The front of Itachi's shirt was wet and warm. He hugged Sasuke tightly anyway and tried to calm him down. He kissed some tears away from his brother's little face but it wasn't doing any good, because he himself felt the need to just cry his eyes out._

_Kill me, anyone. Right now I just want to die.  
I can't take any more fighting. There's always something that comes between. Why does it have to be like this? Why can't we be an ordinary, happy family?_

_Why can't it be like that?  
This is supposed to be love, but it's tearing us all apart. And Mom is out there with him - _

Realizing that he had let his guard down for some moments, Itachi was yanked back to reality when he heard a cheerful voice: "Earth to Itachi! Hello, watcha doing?"

Grief was clouding the black-haired man's eyes as he slowly opened them. He took a deep breath to collect himself and then turned his empty gaze towards Kisame.

"You know, this school is really creepy! I met a really weird French guy on my way here, and he immediately assumed I was Norwegian or something because of my skin color, but when I tried to explain that fish is actually known in other places of the world too, he started talking about preys and predators during the Second World War! I can only say one thing – if I were his pupil, I'd run away faster than anyone can say the world 'baguette'."

Itachi was in his own thoughts, completely absorbed by one person. _Sasuke… I know you're confused. And you'll be hurt when you find out. But I won't lie to you anymore. You deserve to know._

Kisame looked around in the room and grinned. "My, my. I must say I'm surprised. I thought you'd be the one to not give a shit if your students lived or died, and yet you're having so many private lessons with them that you don't even have time to hang out with me anymore. "

Itachi kept his emotionless façade as he collected his things. "Only one", he said. "And in the current situation, hanging out with you is not my top priority."

"Hey, not like you to be so mean. I thought we were buddies, man."

"Things can change."

Kisame chuckled, unfazed. "I know you far too well to get hurt by that, Itachi. And you should really work less; you look like you haven't slept for days."

True. "Thanks for the concern, _mother._" Not even Kisame could miss that sarcasm in his tone. The tall, shark-like man shrugged.

"You know, your mother should really have taught you better than treating your friends like this. Here I came to ask you if you wanted to go out and drink, like old times, but all I get is this time-of-the-month behavior."

Itachi looked at him for the first time this evening but it was not a friendly glance. He chuckled dryly without any humor and picked up his bag. "You should know, Kisame, I never had a mother", he said and left the room.

.

Sasuke walked home, feeling both dizzy and overwhelmingly happy, and his grumpiness was soon forgotten. He replayed it all in his mind over and over again, how Itachi had cupped his cheek so tenderly… and how close they had got all of a sudden.  
When his mother asked him how school had been, he actually cared to give her a little bit more information than usual. When she hugged him he hugged her back, for once not feeling suffocated by her presence.

He lay in his bed, feeling so strangely happy. It felt as he had been waiting for Itachi all of his life. Suddenly, tomorrow couldn't come fast enough. Itachi must touch him again!

_I'm fond of you, Sasuke…._

He remembered what happened earlier today, before his private lesson.

_The blue-haired woman left Pein's office with a dazzled expression. Then she noticed Sasuke, who was sitting in the couch in the waiting room, distractedly skimming through 'God News'."_

"_Do you want to speak with the head-master?" she asked warily. Sasuke shook his head. "I just need somewhere to be right now", he muttered._

_Her amber gaze lit up a bit when she recognized him and she got a motherly expression on her face. Konan sat down beside him although he tried to show her through his facial expression that he wanted to be alone. _

"_Is everything alright?" she asked._

_Sasuke barely glanced at her and continued to clutch his head. "What does it look like?"_

_She sighed. "You look like you know what you're feeling, but you don't know what to do with it."_

_He stared at her. "How –"_

"_It was the same thing when I fell in love with Naga- I mean Pein", she told him. "I was so lost until we realized what we felt for each other."  
"You – and the headmaster?" God, Naruto and Suigetsu would kill to get their hands on that classified information. _

_Konan just nodded. _

"_You're not asking who it is?"_

"_That won't help", she answered simply. "But remember that you can't wait forever. That special 'someone' won't wait either. 'If Moses cannot come to the mountain, the mountain will come to Moses' does not apply here. __You have to get moving."_

"_Wow, that _really _made me feel better", he muttered sarcastically._

_She smiled a bit. "I think you should let that someone know how you feel. Show it. What can you lose?"_

"_You mean, what can I lose if I don't tell… that someone?" _

"_Only your mind. And happy sleep… peaceful nights with your love…"_

"_I'm only thirteen, cut it out!"_

"_Sorry", she laughed. He had never seen her so filled with emotions before. "It's worth it, Sasuke. You need someone to love you and take care of you, and I can only wish that person luck for making such a good choice."_

Sasuke soon fell asleep with a smile on his face. He slept better than he had done for months. He breathed slowly, crouched up to a small ball under his blanket as usual. Right now he dreamed that Itachi was by his side, slowly caressing his forehead as he leaned protectively over him.

The air smelled like love and Itachi's strong, yet kind energy had filled his heart. How long he had waited to find someone like that… to feel this way. Konan was right. Sasuke needed someone to love, and Itachi was the right one for that purpose.

* * *

**Please tell me what you think!**

**Many thanks to my beta Bonnie-san for this and the following chapters! ^^  
**


	8. Love Is Thicker Than Blood

**Pieces Of You: Chapter 8: Love Is Thicker Than Blood**

* * *

_Love hurts, destroys, kills, breaks down and disappears._

* * *

Another day had passed, another day of tension and endless questions. Sasuke walked home from school with his hands in his pockets as usual. He didn't turn around and he didn't let any of the violent waves on the inside reflect in his face. His inner self was a constant storming sea, and its enormous waves could drown all of his emotions and suffocate his tears. When nothing was enough he could get lost in all those tsunamis of his suppressed anger and helplessness and disappear into himself.

But he wouldn't be able to fight it off forever, sooner or later it would crash down on him and take everything away, collapse the fragile walls he had built around himself. It was true that he had been much happier since Itachi started showing him more affection, but there were some things that always would haunt him.

In his head he could hear the voices of their neighbors, what they had said about him all his life behind his back. _Imagine son, how it would be to not have a father. And such a fragile mother… I'm sure she didn't do what she was supposed to do. And imagine living in such poverty… _It was all lies. Lies from people who knew nothing about him. Sasuke despised them all.

He watched his mother's smile without returning it as she greeted him when he came home to their same little picturesque apartment. Mikoto tried to make everything better for him, oblivious to how she only destroyed everything even more. Sasuke thought she was selfish. Selfish for choosing this life for the two of them, selfish for making him feel caged every breath of his life. He wanted to scream and shout at her, but he knew he couldn't. They only had each other, and if he defied her or told her how sick he was of this life, she'd start to cry and lock herself into her bedroom.

Sasuke went into his pedantically cleaned room and collapsed on his rather uncomfortable cheap bed. His whole body was shivering from the violent feelings cursing through his veins and he clutched his sheets. During the school day he had been frustrated and tense and now it broke down when he came home. _  
_

_This can't continue any longer … Or I'm going to break. Itachi… just who are you and why are you doing this to me?_ _I don't know what's wrong with me… Suddenly nothing is as important as being close to you. You said you're fond of me… but that's not enough for me. _

He woke up on the floor beside his bed and realized that he must have fallen asleep and fallen down from the bed meanwhile. He sat up, but deemed it useless to even try to get up. Who needed him? That's right, no one. His rationality had gone on vacation and now he only wanted to feel depressed. Like in the past. He simply let himself fall backwards again and closed his eyes. That was how his mother found him some hours later when she went to check on him. Smiling sadly to herself she knelt down and lifted her son's body up in her arms without rising from the floor. She kissed Sasuke's still childishly soft forehead and hugged him tightly.

_My beloved child… if there was any other way for you, I'd prefer it, I promise. _Mikoto sighed and distractedly played with some strands of her son's hair. Not even in his slumber he looked peaceful, there was something with the faint wrinkle between his eyebrows that told her that he was unhappy in some way.

_I know something is troubling him,_ she thought,_ but he doesn't want to talk about it. He doesn't want to make me worry. _She knew he disliked having her see him helpless like this, especially when he was asleep, but once his whole life had been in her hands and she was never going to forget. She lifted him to the bed and tucked him in.

**xxx**

"It was so strange", Sasuke muttered. "It was as if he was _afraid _to touch me, as if it was forbidden in some way. I just can't understand what he is thinking."

"Maybe he is overly religious, you know, like Hidan", Kiba suggested. "_May Jashin punish the unfaithful, the atheists, the ones who do not believe in Jashin's power-"  
_

"Don't remind me of him", Karin muttered and shivered. "But no doubt, Itachi seems to be crazy about you, Sasuke."

The black-haired boy suppressed an embarrassed glare towards her. "That was the worst exaggeration I've heard in all my life."

The red-haired wasn't affected. "Then look for yourself when he comes here!"

They were waiting for Itachi to arrive so the class could start. Suigetsu sat on his bench as usual – he used every opportunity nowadays when their strict teacher wasn't around – and Karin and Kiba were assembled around Sasuke's bench. None of them could believe that Itachi of all people had such a soft spot for their black-haired friend. But no matter how much Sasuke denied and lied, they could all see it. And the evidences were clear - to begin with, Itachi had promptly refused to help anyone else out with homework or extra studies after school.

Said man entered the classroom in the next moment – he was never late - and swept a wave of silence with him. He looked as usual; tall, strong and with his black hair tied to a ponytail in his back. His bangs covered his forehead and most of his eyes but that didn't seem to bother him. He made the girls sigh in content and Sasuke's heart to dance in his chest as his breath ran wild. On the outside he looked like every other day – simply cold and uninterested, but his inner self was caught up.

There was something about their math teacher that affected all of his students, although most of them were too young to understand what they were feeling. How his eyes could be both intimidating and paralyzing, but at the same time so unbelievable beautiful. Sasuke started daydreaming again as he watched the man's powerful profile in the light from the lamps and Itachi's stunning, yet so simple movements. There was something that made him look both immortal and fragile at the same time. The way Itachi's black eyebrows often were furrowed as if he was angry, his narrowed eyes that sometimes could flash in red when he disapproved of something happening in the classroom, how he could look both pained… and confident at the same time. Sasuke found it all so fascinating.

Their teacher often wore an ordinary black t-shirt that wasn't too tight but at the same depicted his broad shoulders and sturdy chest, but he wasn't too muscular either. He always wore a necklace made of small metal rings and simple gray or black jeans. When he was looking at Sasuke, the younger often let his gaze rest on the lower part of his face because he found it too much for his already over-working heart to meet his intoxicating gaze.

As Itachi started the lesson Sasuke scribbled in his writing pad and suddenly realized what he was doing. How come his hands just had started painting _scars _all of the sudden, scars below a pair of red eyes? He gave a start when he suddenly heard a voice right above him.

"I'll be right back, continue what you are doing."

Throwing his arms over his pad to cover his shameful painting, the younger black-haired boy looked up and nodded in a daze. Itachi looked only at him, as if he had been talking to him alone and not to the twenty seven other people in the room. Sasuke watched his teacher's disappearing back and then buried his face against his book. His friends had started to get used to his changing behavior by now, but no one could really understand how Sasuke Uchiha could turn from a "cool" guy to an over-heated teenager in the matter of seconds.

**xxxx**

"I hope you're prepared for the mission tonight", Pein said emotionlessly. "And don't tire yourself out just as much as last time – you're important for the organization and now you must protect your identity as an ordinary teacher."

Itachi nodded with closed eyes, standing in front of his boss on the other side of his heavy wooden desk. "I know, Pain."

He was the only one in the organization except Konan who didn't refer to him as 'Leader-sama' or 'Pein-sama' but the older man didn't mind; he had known Itachi for a long time. Pein was also the only one in Akatsuki who Itachi couldn't defeat – yet.

Konan stood behind the leader with an expressionless face in the dark room. Pein's purple eyes seemed to glow as they watched the man in front of him. "You know what to do. If Hidan gets in trouble again, don't even try to help him out like last time. Kakuzu can handle that. You need to focus on your part." He sighed. "Dismissed."

A red-haired and a blonde man were standing tightly together outside of the headmaster's office – with other words, a rather needy Deidara was clinging to his partner.

"Please, danna un! Pleeease – _master!"_

The other artist sighed and gently but firmly tried to pry the other man off him. "Not now, Deidei. I have to speak to Leader-sama. Stop it – you're messing up my cloak."

"I beg you, just a quickie, un! I can't wait –"

Sasori sighed. "You're such an insatiable brat", he muttered and comforted his partner with a quick kiss to his forehead. "Later."

The door to Pein's office opened in the same moment, and Deidara immediately forgot his impatience and gritted his teeth angrily when he saw Itachi walking out. To his great frustration, the black-haired man remained as expressionless as always and didn't even look at him. Deidara proceeded to rush forward as he blurted out: "That _idiot_! I'm going to kill him, un! I'm gonna blow him up! That petty immature prick! He doesn't even dare to look me in the eyes! I'm going to show him some true damn art, un! He denies my art!"

The red-haired artist grabbed him by his arms a moment later and restrained him. "You foolish brat", he spat. "Don't take him on by yourself. That blood eyed kid…. He is strong. You may not come out alive after a fight with him."

Deidara struggled angrily against his partner's grip. "I don't care, danna!"  
They watched as Itachi simply continued walking without giving them a single glance. His never-faltering confidence was making the blonde artist go stark raving mad, but his partner was calmer.

"You probably don't know, because you're the youngest brat in our organization", he explained emotionlessly. "Itachi is everyone's dream – he is what they call 'hot'; he is well-looking, smart, healthy, strong and confident – but behind those deep black eyes of his, there's a liar. A cold-hearted killer. He can make his victim scream and beg for mercy for 72 hours straight by only looking at them. I don't get it why Pein-sama always makes him interrogate our targets. After torturing them and dragging every ounce of information out of them, he leaves a full-blown massacre behind – he can't keep the killing down. Sometimes he doesn't even interrogate them; he just kills them right away. He is more sadistic than Hidan when it comes to that. And I never get to show off my work with my combination of 456 kinds of poison because of him."

Sasori let go of his partner when Deidara stopped struggling.

"He is an inferior to the art, right danna!? We should blow them up! Just like that Uchiha brat, un!"

The red-haired tilted his head slightly to the side. "Which one of them?"

Deidara played with some white clay in his left hand and the cocky smile that had appeared on his face switched to confusion."What do you mean? That Sasuke brat of course, un -" He froze for a moment. "_– Wait_ - _they're_ -"

"Holy mother of art, Deidei. You discover that _now_?"

As Deidara replied something, Sasori muttered more to himself than to his partner: "Someone like Itachi Uchiha does not need any other identity. He is here because he wants to, not because he has to, like the rest of us. "

"That's so damn unfair, un!" Deidara complained and looked around for a fitting target to blow up.

Sasori didn't listen. "That must be it - he is here because of Sasuke. But what business can he have with that brat?"

**xxx**

Said black-haired boy was right now stuck in the middle of a tough conflict made of bagatelles. As it was impossible to get any work done in this fight he took off his mental ear plugs and turned towards Suigetsu and Naruto again.

"Would you please –"

"You just don't understand!" Naruto shouted. Itachi still hadn't come back and no one was thinking of keeping their voices down. The whole classroom was swimming with different conversations, crossing each other.

"You're too extreme! A freak even!" Suigetsu grimaced.

"Calm down, both of you! We can –" Sasuke tried.

"You don't even know how to spell 'OTP'." Naruto stated angrily, glaring at Suigetsu.

"Hey, _I _was the one who told you about all this! Show a little more respect!" the white-haired complained.

"Please, shut up for a moment!" Sasuke hissed and looked at them. "Apparently I can't make it alright, no matter how I try! You'll never like each other, and that's how it is. But can you at least stop fighting in class!"

His head was spinning and his throat was sore from trying to make his voice heard in this verbal hurricane. Really, he didn't know what to say anymore. They were constantly at each other's throats and it had always been like that.

"Sasuke, he started it!"

"I didn't!" Naruto defended himself.

"Sasuke, explain to him what I'm trying to say." Suigetsu had grabbed a pen and seemed about to use it as a weapon to stab Naruto's eyes at any moment.

"Say it yourself", Naruto hissed angrily.

The young Uchiha let his arms fall down on his bench again. His voice had returned to its usual coldness. "You two are so annoying! I'm neutral, stop pestering me! I have nothing with this conflict to do!"

"Neutral _my ass_! You always stick up for Suigetsu because he's your best friend. That is _so _cheating!"

Sasuke sighed and explained for the umpteenth time: "I'm not on anyone's side. But he's my friend too, dobe."

"Suigetsu will never understand! He is just an emotionless bastard! He just can't understand _why _I ship some people and why I like a certain anime."

"Seriously, think about me for once", the white-haired boy complained. "You've completely destroyed that anime for me with your blabbering."

"_I_? Think about _you_? No way in hell! You destroyed it for yourself!"

"I don't 'ship' everyone I see."

"So what? You pedantic bastard –" Naruto shouted. "You can't pretend being Alucard for all future. You are _not _an over-powered anime character, snap out of it for God's sake!"

"What are you even talking about?" Sasuke interfered, royally fed up with them.

"He says I look like Near!" Suigetsu complained.

"He says I'm Kira!"

"Don't get so offended!"

"Then why are _you _getting so offended?

"I'm not!

"This is it! I'm going to fucking sue you for your behavior!"

"Good luck, Naruto – Hey Sasuke, where are you going?" Suigetsu called out.

"I hate being in the middle all the time. Solve your problems, but don't let it affect me. You don't know how boring it is to always have to deal with your damn 'problems'."

Sasuke had abruptly stood up and was about to leave the room, but life had other plans.

"Sasuke, come back."

Before he had time to escape he heard Itachi's quiet, demanding voice from behind and it made him hurry even more. But as soon as he had left the classroom he felt the man's hand grip at his arm and successfully halt him. Sasuke turned around and stood face to face to his teacher. Itachi closed the classroom door behind them so they were completely alone in the now empty corridor.

Still upset, Sasuke hissed: "Let me go!"

Itachi's face was blank. "No."

Sasuke looked up at him with wide eyes. "What are you doing? I said let go of me!"

Itachi tilted his head so his black bangs were covering his eyes, but Sasuke could see the small smirk on the man's face. "You've learned self-respect, I see. But… do you really want me to let go?"

Sasuke bit his lips and looked down, making another fruitless attempt to snatch his wrist back. Itachi's cryptic speeches were both bewildering and maddening.

"I'm sorry", his teacher suddenly apologized and let go of his arm. He still let his eyes be covered from view. "Where are you going?"

"… Nowhere...", Sasuke mumbled. _Not when you are here.  
_

He was met by silence for a moment. Suddenly unsure he spoke up: "We're having our usual private lesson this afternoon, right?"

Itachi raised his head so his bangs fell aside from his face and revealed his eyes. "No. Sorry Sasuke, I am busy today."_  
_

With his cheeks burning from anger and disappointment, Sasuke lowered his gaze. But when Itachi started walking away a moment later after a quick 'bye' he ran after him. Again._  
_

"You didn't tell me why!" he blurted out. "You never tell me anything!"_  
_

Itachi stopped and looked at him with surprise. "Tell you…?" he asked, almost bewildered._  
_

Sasuke stood in front of him like an aggravated kitten, small but angry. "I don't get it why you have to be so damn secretly all the time? Why can't you just tell me?"_  
_

He thought he could see a faint smile play on Itachi's lips. "So you want honesty?"_  
_

"From you, yes. I'm so sick of being treated like an unknowing, naïve kid all the time. Right now I'd rather hear an ugly truth than a pretty lie. Anything, just tell me… what you are thinking."_  
_

Itachi gracefully walked back to him. He put an arm around his waist and pulled him closer. Sasuke looked at him, both hopeful and unsure. His heart was racing and made it harder to breathe, but he was completely aware of the moment._  
_

He wasn't sure about what happened next; all he knew was that Itachi's free hand cupped his head while he closed the last space between them. With wide eyes the younger boy let out a gasp when Itachi simply but gently pressed his lips against his own._  
_

Sasuke's eyes closed while his free hand helplessly clutched the back of the elder's shirt, overwhelmed. Itachi kissed him intensively but at the same time as tenderly and carefully as if Sasuke was made of glass, and the younger boy couldn't even remember his own name anymore. He felt his whole body heat as if he had a fever and he tried to recollect his thoughts that suddenly were scattered over the whole world.

He had never felt anything that could ever compare to this, Itachi's soft, warm lips on his. They contained a sweetness he never had tasted before. Sasuke couldn't feel his legs right then and his body leaned against the elder's for support._  
_

When they broke apart some seconds later, Sasuke struggled to not just drag Itachi down and kiss him again. This was not what he had wanted, not right now. Although the hormones running through his veins wanted so much more, he couldn't forget._  
_

"Tell me."_  
_

Itachi's eyes were grave, although his face was as healthy pink as Sasuke's. "I've already told you. In my way. This… is my truth."_  
_

"I know", Sasuke muttered. "But there something else I want to know."_  
_

"What?"_  
_

The younger boy took a deep breath to collect himself, still keeping his hands loosely around Itachi's waist. "Why do I feel this feeling of being _home _when I'm with you? Why does it feel painfully familiar to look into your eyes and hear your voice, although I've only known you for some weeks?"_  
_

Itachi's dark eyes were not revealing any emotions but graveness. "I think only you know the answer to that."_  
_  
Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "I'm not buying that. You know, don't you? I might be a kid but I'm not stupid. You're keeping something from me, and I will find out sooner or later."_  
_  
The elder sighed and something deep, almost crushingly sad appeared in his eyes for a moment, mixed with something else. Maybe it was determination.

"I will tell you. But the question is if you will understand."

"Try me." Sasuke remained unmoving, feeling so close to the truth that he almost could taste it. No matter what 'the truth' was.

"But first, come here." Itachi led them to an empty classroom and closed the door behind them. None of them sat down; they stood only a yard away from each other, staring into each other's eyes.

Itachi was the one who broke the silence. "You… remind me of a brother I had very, very long ago."

Sasuke still didn't understand a thing. "I'm sorry for your loss, but what has that to do with me?"

Itachi's voice was calm and collected, just as confident as the gentle look in his eyes. "It has everything to do with you - because you_ are_him. "

Sasuke felt like watching himself from a distance, too shocked to keep his consciousness intact. He gaped like a fish out of water while his brain slowly processed the information. Wait a moment - What the hell was this? No. What the _hell _was Itachi getting at? Maybe he just was a sick pervert who wanted to hurt Sasuke and screw with his brain. After the shock came the instinctive defense.

"I don't have a brother, Itachi!" he shouted, torn up and suddenly _afraid_. Afraid of the ridiculous clear evidences, afraid of himself in that moment. Afraid of the truth. "Don't come with this bullshit, it's _pathetic_! I should've known damn well if I had a one! Are you trying to make me believe I just kissed my own brother? You sick bastard! Don't think that you can just come and decide what I –"

Itachi's gaze showed no hint of insecurity. It scared Sasuke to see how determined he was. "How old were you when your parents separated? What do you know?"

Those words hit Sasuke like a punch to his stomach. Being talked to like that, as if he knew nothing, made it even harder for him to process. This was turning his conception of the world over, crushing everything he had believed in. His mind had frozen and was stuck in some goo. Suddenly he couldn't think of any denies.

Itachi was right. What did he know? Of course it was possible that he had a sibling or two out there. But _how _did Itachi know that Sasuke's parents had divorced? What if he actually was...? But yet he refused to believe. The shock made him arrogant and angry.

"So you're saying that my asshole of a father had other kids after mom left him? Anyway, I wouldn't care about them. And I don't even know what that god damned man was called."

Itachi was suddenly standing right in front of him. His sudden closeness was overwhelming; his whole powerful being was there. His black orbs stared intensively at Sasuke who took a step back. Was Itachi angry with him?

"I- I didn't mean to", he stuttered as the elder lifted his hand. Sasuke fell silent when the man cupped his cheek in his hand and stroked it tenderly. His face started to heat again but he was hardly aware; his throat felt swollen and dry and his legs were starting to tremble.

"Don't be scared." Itachi leaned closer so his lips were right at Sasuke's ear, again. Now he didn't sound teasing at all; his voice held comfort and faith. "I know more than you think, Sasuke. And considering that I'm older than you, be sure that I was born _before _your mother left your father."

His warm breath ghosted over the younger boy's skin and sent a shiver through his motionless body. Sasuke felt as if someone was gripping his stomach tightly and he couldn't get enough oxygen. This… couldn't be true… he was losing his ground and he was falling so hard. His body was starting to tremble; violent shivers was shaking his whole being and his throat felt so dry that he almost started coughing. Itachi looked worriedly at him and held out his arms.

"Are you okay? Do you need to sit down for a moment?"

"Don't … mind me", Sasuke gasped and struggled to gain his composure again. "I'm just freaking out, I'll be fine soon –"

Itachi smiled a bit and embraced him tightly. The simple, yet so heart-wrenching action made the cold shock departure from the younger boy's body. He was resting almost all of his body weight on the elder, but Itachi didn't seem to mind. He just held on to him. Sasuke took a deep breath and his thinking ability returned.

If Itachi actually was his brother, then how come he had _kissed _him that way? And how come he felt so madly attracted to him? Maybe all this was just a sick, heavy nightmare. But if it was, why did he feel safer than he ever had felt in his whole life? Why did he want this dream to last for all eternity?

Why did it all feel so crushingly beautiful to be so close?

Itachi's hand against his cheek was the only warmth he had left in his whole body. He didn't protest as the elder continued hugging him and carefully rested Sasuke's head against his shoulder. Itachi spoke slowly and carefully, as if every word wad measured out.

"Every single moment since our parents' divorce, I've missed you like you were my other half. And every moment since then, I've longed for calling you _otouto _and hold you like this. But for all this time… I never thought I would find you again."

Sasuke looked up and to his great shock, a glistering drop landed on his forehead.

* * *

_Love is the beauty of a short moment that is sweeter than anything else_

* * *

.

Love to see your comments~  
Until next time! ^^_  
_


	9. Breaking Point

**A/N: Hi everyone! Hope you all are doing good! I want to thank you all for the support with this fic.  
The reason it has taken some time for me to update is because my wonderful beta-reader is back, and in order for her to help me improve the quality of the chapters, it may take a little longer time between the updates, but we're working as fast as we can. I hope you have understanding with this. Anyway, Enjoy!  
**

******Chapter 9: Breaking Point**  


* * *

_**~Memory~**_

"You can start tomorrow", Pein announced. Itachi stood up from the heavy oak chair and bowed his head.

"I understand. Thank you."

Pein merely nodded. He had one arm wrapped around Konan's waist and she gave Itachi a wary, almost cold look. They were standing face to face in Pein's dark office and the air was tense.

"For how long has Sasuke attended this school?" the black-haired man asked and straightened his back a little.

It was the quiet assistant who answered. "For seven years now, and I've watched over him ever since then."

Itachi hid his surprise over her slightly more raised voice and looked at them with gratitude in his dark eyes. "I know what you two have done for him, and you will always have my sincerest respect. Now I'll take my leave."

Pein and Konan remained motionless behind the enhanced wooden desk. They watched him go with expressionless eyes. The bronze-haired man's hand was gripping Konan's wrist gently.

Itachi had barely left the office when the sound of the fire alarm pierced the air. He took the closest exit, letting his intuition guide his steps through the unfamiliar building and saw a couple of students assembled near the football ground. He heard Sasuke's name being mentioned, and his attention was directed to some boys over there.

"You did this, Naruto, didn't you? I owe you a favor. Now we won't have that test on Tuesday."

"It was easy. I just put some matchsticks in a waster-paper basket and voilá, school will turn into ash!"

"Hey, where's Sasuke?"

"Probably sulking his ass off in his ordinary hideout. Which is… "

"_Shit_!"

"The school…!"_  
_

"What are you standing here for? Do something!"

Itachi's eyes widened. Sasuke… was left in the school? Why hadn't he evacuated like everyone else?

A moment later he was back in the corridors and hurriedly searched through them. He soon localized the source of the fire – a burning waste paper basket had inflamed a class room and the fire was now spreading fast down the corridors with the help of the plastic carpets on the floor and the wooden cupboards. Dark grey smoke welled out from a corridor and Itachi realized.

Everything was coming back now for the first time since the short childhood they had.

_Foolish, foolish little brother… Why aren't you outside with the others?_

He found Sasuke collapsing on the floor, barely conscious and coughing violently, reaching out for help. But no one except Itachi was left in the building. As he bent down and lifted his brother's unconscious body into his arms, he wondered who Sasuke had thought would save him. When he saw Sasuke who once again was lying helpless in his arms, his heart wrenched. Eleven years… Eleven years had gone away and disappeared. This was not how he had pictured their reuniting in his mind, in such a critical and fragile situation.

This was messing things up, but Itachi was used to things going really wrong on missions. He wanted to stay here for a moment and just watch the young boy in his arms even if the roof was about to collapse over them. A part of him realized that this would not be easy, and for a fraction of a moment he wanted to stay right here and die together with his brother, starting over somewhere else. But he had to carry on with this no matter what it took, no matter the cost. All years of yearning, of sorrow and pain… The loneliness had been eating into his soul for such a long time, and the cure to his heartache was right here with him now, just as precious as he always had been.

Itachi held his little brother so gently and covered his mouth with his shirt as he left the building. His Otouto was not a child anymore. In Itachi's eyes however, Sasuke was still just a fragile and helpless as he could remember from their few, defect childhood years. And foolish, he thought as he made his way out without being spotted by the assembled students. Just _who _had given him the idea to stay in the school although he knew it was on fire?

With outmost care he put Sasuke down on the soft grass and sat beside him for a moment. He checked his brother's pulse and breathing and realized that Sasuke was unharmed, but unconscious. And then everything returned… so sad that it almost broke his heart to pieces, but so sweet and crushing that he just wanted to cry like a little child. Itachi held his brother's pale wrist in his hand and as he felt every faint beating of his heart, he closed his eyes and remembered.

He could see for his inner vision his mother, smiling over the tiny bundle she held in her arms, tightly protecting against her chest. Itachi was kneeling down by her side and he saw his newborn little brother. Something more vulnerable and beautiful he had never dreamed of. So small, so tiny, so precious and pretty… and he was left out to their defense. Itachi got to hold that new little being that only with a cute little yawn managed to play on the strings in his heart mercilessly, making his whole world focus about one little person, like a planet in a endless rotation around its sun.

And already then when he kissed his baby brother's forehead and rocked him to sleep he knew that Sasuke was his sun. He would do anything to keep him safe and happy, and the feelings that overwhelmed him in those first moments when they met, those feelings made his insides cry with happiness. The little baby was asleep against his chest, a baby angel that was making his dark childhood years melt away behind him. Because every time little Sasuke awoke and cried, his big brother would be there and tell him how much he loved him.

The nine-teen-year-old Itachi opened his eyes and tears were cascading down his cheeks.

His very own miracle was lying in front of him now, unaware, with fluttering eyelids, slowly returning back to his own world. A world Itachi never had got to share with him.

His little brother had grown to such a beautiful young boy, a picture of bright perfection. Itachi's worn hands swept over Sasuke's delicate limbs, his fair, milky skin and his soft black hair and nothing but the tears on his face showed the turmoil of emotions inside of him.

Sasuke was the one Itachi always had loved the most, the one who had a whole bright future in front of him. God's most perfect creation, his own little brother. He couldn't remember that it would bring him so much happiness to just look at him… but his heart was literally overflowing with love and his own needs had automatically been moved down, overpowered by Sasuke's.

_Little brother… what were you doing? Were you trying… to leave this world?_

Itachi couldn't help himself; he reached out and touched his brother's face. So stunningly beautiful he was… Itachi leaned over him and slowly lowered his face. Back then, when they were little, he had felt nothing for Sasuke but a pure, whole-hearted brotherly affection. But now… when he looked at that closed face, the delicate traits that were so similar to his own, the faint blush over his cheekbones and his long black eyelids… And he knew that behind that angelic body, there was a person that still was as soft and gentle as the little baby he once had held in his arms.

Sasuke was the nearest thing to heaven he would ever get, the one who would save him from all the sins and crimes he had committed.

There was nothing special about it, the way he bent down and inhaled deeply of the sweet scent that always had belonged to Sasuke since the day he was born. He held his brother tenderly in his arms and embraced the smaller body with more tenderness than any angel could ever give.

And Itachi finally felt alive; he felt his heart pound strongly in his chest, he felt his blood flood violently through his veins and his face heat. He couldn't think anymore, all he could feel was an overwhelmingly happiness, starting in his chest and spreading all the way out to his very fingertips. And there was nothing to stop him anymore, rationality and morals were far away. After admiring his stunning face for a moment, his lips met Sasuke's.

He only allowed them to meet for the shortest of moments, but it touched him all the way to his heart. It was a short, sweet kiss, and spread warmth all the way to Itachi's frozen heart. He knew that this was destiny's doing – he was born to be Sasuke's brother, born for his sake alone. The child who had been sleeping inside his dreams for so long had finally awakened, and no one could ever love him more than Itachi did.

He lay Sasuke down again and still felt that happiness filling his body. He caressed his little brother's soft forehead for a moment before whispering softly:

"It's time to wake up now, Sasuke."

.

**~End of Memory~**

.**  
**

_So my whole life has been a lie._

_An ugly lie._

_Everyone has been lying for me. Iruka-sensei must have known. Kakashi must have known. Mom knew, Itachi knew._

_But what about me?_

_What about all these years when I lived alone with mom?_

_What about that?_

_Why did they never tell me?_

_**Why did they let me live such a life?**_

Sasuke breathed deeply, surrounded by Itachi's warm embrace. His inner self was crumbling down and withered, and something new was rising from the smoke. Itachi placed a gentle kiss to his black spikes and inhaled, as if he wanted to savor his scent. Sasuke suddenly realized how safe he felt. He was safe right here, shielded... by his big brother. The moment was frozen in itself; he felt Itachi's tears moisten his face and he closed his eyes. His hand was trembling slightly as it gripped his brother's.

Just now he could realize how everyone had lied to him, how everyone had treated him like a toddler for all this time. Red anger filled him and he knew one thing for sure – a lie is always a lie, regardless if it's big or small.

He looked up at his brother who wasn't doing anything to hide his emotions. "If you really are my brother – then how come we were separated from the start? Why didn't anyone tell me about you? How come you're telling me all these things _now?_"

Itachi pulled him closer. "Mikoto – our mother – took you with her and left after a fight between her and our father. I tried to follow you, but he stopped me."

Sasuke gritted his teeth. "Just how… how could mom do such a thing? She took my family _away_ from me! I knew she was selfish!" Everything was slowly falling into place, but even with his elite Uchiha brain cells it was hard to handle all the new information.

"Sasuke, I want you to do me a favor", Itachi said gravely and let his hand rest against his cheek tenderly. The younger boy looked up at him. "Name it."

The man's fingers ran through his hair, as if he couldn't keep himself from touching him. "Don't resent Mikoto too much. She needs you and you need her too, be sure about that. After all, you've only had each other for these past years. You two have a very precious bond and the last thing I want to do is to destroy that."

Sasuke felt that that single thing he wasn't able to do. There were still many things he didn't understand and he was still upset.

"But –" he began.

Itachi looked him tenderly in the eyes. "Sasuke, I know what you're thinking now and I promise I'll explain everything to you later, as soon I've taken care of what I have to do tonight. But think about it, before you decide not to forgive her. What would you have done if you had been our mother? She had to make her choice. If I had been older, I might have done the same thing. If I had snatched you away and raised you on your own, would you have forgiven me when you found out that I had taken your parents away from you and shattered your family?"

Sasuke shook his head. "That's another thing."

Itachi's voice was still soft but firm. "No, it's not. You don't remember how it was like, but you would have grown up in a hell if you stayed. I remember – you were only one year old when Fugaku beat Mikoto so hard that she collapsed, in front of you."

Sasuke almost flinched. "_He did?"_

His older brother's eyes were grave. "You cried the whole night. We had never seen you so upset before. Try to see it from Mikoto's point of view - she wanted to save you, at least you. It was the only thing she could do. And it became much, much worse than that."

Itachi's voice was quiet and his eyes suddenly seemed a little bit darker. "I became violent and aggressive at that time, not against you or our family, but towards myself and other people at school. We were all suffering."

The elder held on to him so carefully, embracing him tightly. Sasuke didn't know what to say; he only rested his head against the other's chest.

"Sasuke, I won't force you to anything. If you want to, I can disappear today and you can continue living like before and pretend that this never happened."

Itachi lowered his voice and sorrow swept over his face for a moment. "But... I've lived for finding you. If I lost you, there… would simply be no point for me to live." His gaze was open and clear now, supporting the statement with every fiber in his body.

Sasuke reached up and cupped the man's face in his hands. He enjoyed the softness, the smoothness of Itachi's delicate skin and looked into his eyes for a moment.

"Don't go", he said simply and felt the older man's breath sweeping over his face. And then it was just so easy to lean forward and touch his lips with his own. Itachi's arms rose and wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer to the elder. Sasuke held on to his face as he kissed him feverishly, licking and caressing his brother's mouth. He automatically tilted his head slightly to the side to prevent their noses from colliding as they only broke apart for breathing in short intervals.

Itachi remained leaned down and Sasuke just knew that he wanted this. _Don't go, _his mind kept telling the elder as they shared deep, sweet kisses and he felt the urge to cry for the shortest of moments. _I need you… by my side. It's too late to change anything, no matter how you try. Brother…_

His arms moved to wrap around Itachi's shoulders to keep him in place and their lips finally stilled. Both of them were red-cheeked and slightly out of breath, and Itachi leaned down and placed some final gentle kisses to his forehead and nose. "Don't close your eyes, my otouto", he whispered. "Look at me."

Sasuke opened his eyes.

"I love you", Itachi whispered and raised his hand to caress the younger boy's face. His voice sounded almost pained, and Sasuke hugged him tightly. All nervousness and tension he had experienced in Itachi's presence since he met him for the first time was relieved, and now he understood… that he actually had known his secretive teacher for a much, much longer time than he first thought.

Itachi wasn't a faraway, forbidden mirage. He was Sasuke's. Sasuke had the _right _to be close to him and love him, because Itachi was his big brother and he had always been.

Even if they never would be able to kiss legally, his heart practically throbbed with delight when he realized that he and the girls in his class were on a completely different level. Itachi was his very own family member, Itachi _belonged _to him. Not to anyone else.

He buried his face against the man's hair that was hanging loosely around his face and breathed deep mouthfuls of the scent of shampoo and silky conditioner that made Itachi's hair smell like a field of strawberries and jasmine.

"Itachi… you didn't tell me why you can't help me out today."

The older black-haired boy softly patted his hair again. "I work for the organization Akatsuki, and I have to do a mission tonight that is rather tough. I need my full strength and concentration."

"Can't anyone else do it?" Sasuke asked huffily and looked up at him.

It was amazing how soon they could behave like… siblings, close friends. As if the past years had been normal.

Itachi shrugged and sent him an apologetic smile. "Originally Sasori was supposed to do it, but he quitted the mission because of another 'quality night' with Deidara. Pein let me do it instead."

Sasuke gaped. "_Sasori? Deidara? The headmaster?_ How many else are involved in this… Akatsuki?"

The elder shrugged again. "Almost every teacher of the school."

His eyes went wide. "Even Iruka-sensei?"

His brother shook his head so his black bangs danced around his face. "Not he or Kakashi."

Sasuke frowned. "Let me guess, Iruka quit because of your organization."

"No. Iruka left… because of me."

"Why?" Sasuke asked, perplexed.

"Because I wanted to be close to my dear baby brother", Itachi breathed and kissed his forehead. "And Pein favors me, so he let me take his place without hesitation."

Sasuke stared at him dumbfounded. How many surprises would he have to encounter before this day was over?

Itachi tilted his head slightly to the side. "Are you angry because I was the reason to Iruka's quitting?"

The younger boy shook his head. "There are just so much new things… and isn't it dangerous for you, Itachi? Can I help you out with your missions?"

"No, Sasuke", the elder mumbled against his forehead. "You're far too precious to me to allow you that."

The younger boy didn't really know what to say now. Another thought reached his mind, finally. "School was on fire a while ago… you were the one who saved me, weren't you?" Now he understood. The person who had been carrying him to safety -

Itachi nodded and Sasuke thought he could see slight accusation in his brother's eyes for a moment, but it was soon gone. Itachi tilted his brother's head slightly upwards.

"Sasuke. You are my brother and you'll forever be. I know that it's shocking for you, but even then, it's a destiny you can't escape. But remember what I said – If you don't want me, not as a brother or… someone to love…" The man's gaze was more fragile that Sasuke had ever seen. Itachi seemed so sorrowful, so vulnerable and tormented.

"…Just say the word and I'll disappear. But as I said, then there is no reason for me to continue living. To be honest… I think there's not a single piece of me that still is your brother. "

Sasuke pulled him closer. "Don't ever say something like that!" He pressed Itachi tightly against himself, upset and angry. "I'm not going to disappear from you, and not the other way around either!"

Itachi smiled a bit. "You don't know what you can promise right now. "

The younger of the two took a deep breath. "Nii-san. Brother. Look at me!"

Itachi met his gaze. Sasuke reached up and cupped his face in his hands, angrily staring into his eyes. "I don't care what's going on. I want every piece of you, even that piece that is my _brother. _And I don't care about wrong and right now, because I –"

Sasuke ran out of words and he didn't know how to continue. He felt that he was bad at everything that had with love to do, even recognizing it.

His brother exhaled slowly. "I understand", he said. "Now I have to go, and you're going home."

"What? Why, I have class –"

"You're going home", Itachi repeated with a voice that was both soft and commanding at the same time.

Sasuke let go of him. "Who is deciding that?"

"I am. I hereby excuse you from your classes today. You need to go home and think about this in peace, to collect your thoughts. And here you have –" Itachi gave him a small folded note and Sasuke received it with raised eyebrows. Three different phone numbers were typed down with a flawless handwriting. "Three different numbers?"

"To make it harder for other people to track me", Itachi explained. "Call me whenever you need to, and I will take my time for you."

Sasuke surprised them both by hugging him tightly again. "You're right, Itachi. I really am stupid. I don't know why I reacted so strongly before. I guess it's only because... I was scared. I never thought something like that was hiding in my past."

The older boy swept his hand through his hair affectionately. "It's alright, little one", he whispered softly. Sasuke looked up at him in slight surprise.

"Sorry", his brother muttered but his eyes were kind. "That was just a nickname I gave you when you were little."

"I like it", the younger raven-haired admitted. Itachi smiled kindly at him. "See you tomorrow, Sasuke. Remember that I'll be with you all the time until I see you again."

.

Ino slammed her head against her bench. "I am so stressed out", she said with an empty look in her eyes and clutched her head in her hands. "I seriously don't know what we're going to do."

"It will be alright", Hinata tried to comfort her shyly. "We'll make it through together… "

"Thank you but it will not", the blonde girl muttered. She had deep blue rings below her eyes. "I'm sure Ebisu-sensei will rape us or something if we fail the next French test, Sakura has gotten some serious kind of anorexia in a desperate attempt to lose much weight in a short time, Itachi is really torturing us with all damn homework, I lost my mascara, I hate my parents because they never understand me, my dog's puppies died yesterday, I don't have time for all school work and a normal free time, my computer is killing me, my pick-up line sucks, Naruto is so damn immature and ruins my life and I am like the only one here who doesn't have a boyfriend!"

"You and Sakura don't need any boyfriends, you're dykes anyway", Naruto stated carelessly.

"NARUTO! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO CHOOSE THE WORST MOMENT POSSIBLE TO BE A COMPLETE JERK?" Ino roared and slammed him into the wall. "So what if I'm – Do you really have to destroy everything even more when everything already is ruined?"

"If you're what-" Suigetsu grinned curiously from his bench, biting and licking his water bottle distractedly.

Naruto mumbled something which actually was a rather impressive action seeing as his face was smashed behind the blonde girl's fist.

"What did you say?" she said threateningly.

Sakura who had been sleeping on her desk from exhaustion woke up with a start and stared at them. "What's going on?" she wondered confusedly.

"Ask your girlfriend", Naruto managed to stutter. The pink-haired girl's eyes narrowed dangerously and the sleepiness seemed to disappear in a moment. "When I'm done with you", she snarled and picked up her best weapon - a sharpened pencil - "You'll be more sterile than the moon."

Naruto screamed to high heaven. This was going to hurt...

When Itachi came back to finish the class he was met by a combined war-zone and party land where his dear students were practically trying to strangle each other.

"Haha, Hinata totally failed the last test!"

"Can you stop picking on her?" Kiba defended the blue-haired.

"Naruto, I swear I'm going to kill you if I get a single eraser in my head again!" Karin yelled. "And don't even try to approach my glasses! And Sai, for fuck's sake stop panting penises on the board! We get it, you're making me sick!"

"What are you going to do if I break your glasses again?" Naruto who somehow had managed to get away from Sakura's violent castration teased the red-haired. "Steal my toothbrush? Seriously, Karin, your tricks are getting old."

"What a drag…" Shikamaru groaned.

"I want snacks! Does anyone want a snack?" Chouji asked happily and offered his chip bag to his friends.

The other pupils complained. "Itachi-sensei, do something!"

"I'm hungry!"

"I don't get it!"

"It's cold in here!"

"I want to go home!"

"When can we go home?"

"My pencil is gone again!"

"SENSEI!"

"Does anyone have a pencil?"

After telling them to pack their things and leave, Itachi stood outside and took some deep breaths. Those other kids were so annoying that he almost couldn't hide his irritation and he was tempted to punish all of them severely, but his thoughts were completely focused on Sasuke and he couldn't care about anything else.

"NARUTO! This is it! Do you hear me, _baka_? You're more annoying than Suigetsu, and that's damn hard to accomplish!" Karin screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Thanks for that", her boyfriend said nonchalantly.

"You know I don't mean it", the red-haired said and suddenly spotted a tall, grinning shark-like man walking into the room.

"Hey, kids. Where do ya have your teacher"? Kisame asked.

"What did you say, sushi?" Naruto screamed at him. "Look, the food is talking!"

Resisting the impulse to break the kid's neck with his own hands, Kisame made his way out in search for his partner. He found Itachi standing leaned against the front of the building.

"Hey kiddo, Leader-sama wants you to know that we have a meeting tomorrow."

The black-haired man let out an almost inaudible sigh and opened his eyes that were now swirling red. Kisame chuckled. "It's about that kid, isn't it? Your brother."

As expected, his partner didn't answer him at first. He had to wait quite a while before Itachi turned his gaze towards him.

"It's about Sasuke", he confirmed quietly. Usually he didn't tell his partner about anything personal, but his heart had become soft and open like always when he thought about his otouto. Itachi was talking more to himself than to Kisame at the moment.

"He has become someone special to me… even if we only had barely two years together. Back then I felt nothing but brotherly affection for him. But I can't remember how it felt to look at my brother that way. What I feel now… it's not brotherly. Now he is hardly my sibling – now he is the person I love the most, more than anything. The one I'd give up everything for and do anything for. Now he is my sun, my world and everything I ever wanted. Even if he would reject me… It would still be enough, that I just got to see his face again."

**xxx**

When Sasuke came home his mom was in the kitchen as she had the day off from work.

"Welcome home, darling. Why are you home so early?" she asked him when he had taken his shoes off and warily entered their small apartment. She didn't know anything yet, Sasuke thought bitterly. But she was soon going to.

"Our new teacher let us go a bit earlier", he lied smoothly. Mikoto still didn't have a clue; she wiped her hands on her embroidered apron and put a pie into the oven. Her idealistic housewife style was only more annoying now than ever, and Sasuke didn't feel bad about shattering the whole false world she had built for them. Right now he only wanted to rip it into pieces.

Mikoto went into kitchen again. "Oh right, what is your new teacher called? You never told me, sweetheart. Naruto's mom told me he was splendid."

Sasuke waited until she turned against him and looked her straight in her eyes. His voice was hard and cold. "Funny that you ask about that. You of all people should know, considering that he is your own son - Itachi Uchiha."

"Wonderfu- _what?_ What did you say?" Mikoto's eyes went wide and she took a step back. Sasuke kept his ground as he watched his mother's happy smile froze and fade away. Her voice suddenly sounded weak and scared, and one of her hands reached out to the wall to support herself. Her face was white as a sheet.

"I must be hallucinating", she mumbled. "Sasuke… what did you say?"

Sasuke glared at his mother. She had lied to him and he was not going to forgive her, no matter what Itachi had told him. "Yes, that's right", he continued mercilessly.

"My _brother, _Itachi. The brother you never told me about!" His voice raised with each word and he could feel how the anger overwhelmed him. He clenched his teeth and glared at her. "_You liar!"_

_You're an egoist. You're so selfish. And your selfishness destroyed my life. _

_And finally - finally - you know just a bit how it feels for me each day of my life.  
_

He didn't stay another moment; he rushed into his room and started collecting his things wildly. He hardly saw what he was doing; the anger was clouding his mind with madness. Inside he had already starting the process of breaking down and cutting every tie – and he could only think one thing over and over again: _How hard could it be to only tell me such a small thing like that? But instead you had to drive it to its edge – deceive me completely in every way for all this time. And now it's over. _

Mikoto stood at the door and looked at him, confused and upset. "Sweetheart what are you doing?" she asked, still pale in her face.

"What does it look like?" he snapped and violently threw his bag open. "I'm out of here."

His mom took a step towards him with outreached arms, but he ignored it.

"You've gone far too long with all your lies!" he spat, rushing around like a madman in search for some useful stuff. "You kept everything from me for so long! You're so damn selfish! Everything was only about yourself. You wanted to live in peace with a kid all to yourself, with your own little 'family', not caring if I suffered! But you know what? We've never been a family! Never!"

He hated seeing the broken expression on his mother's face as he threw the accusations at her, and he knew that each hurtful word was like a knife through her sensitive heart. But he continued to gather some clothes and stuffed them into his school bag.

"Sasuke, please… let's talk about it", Mikoto pleaded. She was on the verge of starting to cry, but he wasn't going to listen to her.

"You don't understand!" he snapped. "_Now _you want to talk! You've kept half of my life away from me! And now you're losing me too! You don't have a son named Sasuke anymore, because he is gone! It's too late, everything's too late, do you get it?"

"Where are you going? Sasuke?" she whispered hardly audible and followed him to the hallway. "You-you can't do this", she tried. "You're only thirteen, you can't–"

Mikoto's face was already striped with tears and she reached out towards him. But Sasuke had had enough. He threw his bag over his shoulder and rushed towards the door.

"It's not your business anymore! You lied to me – no, you've _deceived _me and here's the consequence. I don't care what Itachi thinks about this and if he drags me back to you. I don't need a mom who keeps everything from me! For the last fucking time, I'm no three-year-old! I also have a life! I can't stay with you reading fairytales forever! Because -" Sasuke took a deep breath and felt how his insides were breaking down and he bit his bottom lip hard. "Because – life isn't a fairytale! Life is merciless!"

Mikoto looked at him with eyes that were overflowing with emotions. "Please", she begged. She held out her pale arms, as if she wanted to hold him close.

Sasuke didn't look at her. "Why do we think about other people than ourselves? It's called _empathy. _But – "Now his voice turned completely cold with irony. "Why don't just think about _me_ and me alone? After all, I am the only thing I have ever had."

He left everything behind and felt like a bird that for the first time was able to move on its own, freed from his minimal cage. He left the apartment far behind and could hear Itachi's voice in his head: _I think that there's not a single piece of me that still is your brother. _Fuck that.

Itachi was the reason to all this, but Sasuke was only grateful. Finally he was free.

He ran and ran, leaving everything behind, not caring for the moment where he'd end up.

_I've been caged for too long... and now when I've tasted freedom, why would I ever want to return? To think that I used to pity you, mom, but you were just using me.  
You could just have left me to die on the street when I was born; it wouldn't have made any difference. _

Mikoto sank down on the floor and put her hands over her face, completely drowning in fear and panic.

"Sasuke…" she sobbed hysterically, "You're the only one I have left. Please... my dear child... my baby..." she wailed. "Come back ... come back. I only have you… only you…" She was so afraid. What if she never got to see him again? What if something happened to him now?

But another part already realized that her protectiveness had made an irreparable hurt in the bond between her and her youngest child. But what other choice did she have?  
She could hear her mother's voice in her head, what she had taught her when she was little. Mikoto's mother had passed away shortly after, but the sacrifice she taught her would always remain.

_Sometimes_,_ a parent has to make a cruel choice to save her child._

**xxx**_  
_

Sasuke sat completely still, staring into nothingness. He had a rather vague idea of where he was, but he nothing mattered right now. Words were repeating themselves endlessly in his head and the pain was slowly molding inside of him.

_Sasuke, I won't force you to anything. If you want to, I can disappear today and you can continue living like before and pretend that this never happened. But… if I lost you, there would simply be no point for me to live._

He felt so lonely right now, alone in the whole world. The sky was just as always keeping the same ever-present grey color that kept all light from above to reach down. Grey streets wherever he looked, some few people walking by. He was in a sparsely populated area far away from home and the only things he could hear were the sounds of a single car passing by now and then.

High depressing tower blocks wherever he looked, far too little vegetation for his liking. Some older boys scribbling on a concrete wall, an older couple slowly walking by on the other side of the street. No one saw him here; no one cared about the black-haired young boy who was lost in himself. Sasuke clutched the white little paper note tightly in one of his hands and picket up his cell phone a couple of times, pushing the buttons in a daze. Each time he typed the number and then erased everything and put his phone back in his pocket. And each time he picked it up some minutes later and made it all over again. Sometimes he even starting calling, but interrupted it before Itachi had any chance to pick up.

He clutched his head in his hand and wondered why the world was such a lonely place. He wondered why he couldn't get his brother out of his head no matter how much he tried, and why he had messed up so terrible before. That old feeling of depression was coming over him again, making him feel so hopeless, so worthless. All his troubles were coming from all directions, making it impossible to fight them off for even a moment. Once again he was that person who no one could understand, who wasn't even able to help himself.

Sasuke didn't know for how many hours he had been sitting on the park bench, but he saw that it was late afternoon already. It started raining slightly and it was slowly getting dark. He knew that his mother must be worried sick, but right now he didn't have the energy to think about her.

He didn't know what he was supposed to do. He didn't know what to do, but he had thousands and again thousands of things that he must do. And Sasuke walked slowly through the rain, letting it run down his face and suffocate everything he didn't want to think about. The sorrow he felt was heavier than the weight of the world, but he knew that he must carry on. For all future.

It felt as he had already paid for all his future sins. And no one could ever change that fact – no one but the person he longed to be with now, more than he wanted to live.

He didn't know where he was going until he was standing in front of a familiar door, waiting for someone to open. There he was welcomed by a warm house and two persons that always had been like a pair of extra parents to him. He had always adored the blonde man who had been like a dad for him and his hot-tempered but kind wife – the parents of his best friend, Naruto.

Maybe they could help him getting some kind of solution to this situation.

"We can't leave it like this", Kushina said when she heard the very censured version of Sasuke's day. "I must call Mikoto-san before something serious happens. You can stay here for tonight if you'd like to Sasuke, that's fine by us."

"Sasuke's mom will probably call the cops and have the whole city searching for him", Naruto grinned where he sat on the couch together with his friend.

"Do you know what?" Sasuke said to him when the red-haired woman had disappeared into the kitchen. "I miss those old days somehow. Those days when life was so extremely normal, so extremely boring that our biggest problem was how we would be able to skip the French classes."

Naruto nodded. "Everything has changed somehow. Nothing is as it was before."

.

* * *

**A/N: What do you think? Review!**


	10. Piece Of Me

**Pieces Of You: Chapter 10: Piece Of Me  
**

**A/N: So it was a little while since I updated, ne? I'm gonna blame it on my disease this time *sigh* Rheumatism makes my fingers go a little numb and actually makes it harder to type.  
**

**Warning for nasty words in this chapter! xD  
**

**Anyway, enjoy!  
**

* * *

Heavy rain clouds sweeping in over the town, darkening the sky. Raindrops resting delicately at the window panes, an empty reflection in there.

Sasuke was sitting on Naruto's couch and watched the day fade away. It was slowly getting dark outside, and he reached out for the blanket beside him and wrapped it around him tightly. He felt so cold inside, so unsure. His head hit the back of the couch as he closed his eyes and waited for Itachi to call. A voice from the kitchen woke him up.

"Sasuke-kun."

"Hm?"

Kushina was standing at the door with a frying pan in her hand and her red long hair tied up. "Your mom called again. She wants you to come home."

Sasuke slowly opened his eyes. He had been here almost the whole day without having any contact with his mother. He had heard Kushina answering her calls a couple of times, and each time she lied and told Mikoto that he was sleeping when she wanted to talk with him. It was Saturday, fortunately, and Sasuke had spent most of the time with Naruto playing Ultimate Ninja Storm and eating popcorn. He wasn't really used to spend a whole day that lazily, but he simply felt no motivation whatsoever. Now Naruto had finally managed to ask Sakura out and had left for some hours.

He knew that avoiding his problems would only make it worse, but Itachi still hadn't called although he should have by now; they talked briefly yesterday and decided. A small feeling of worry had begun to claw at Sasuke's mind – what if something had gone wrong on his mission?

"I don't want to talk to her", he said after a short while. The red-haired woman sighed. "I already told her that. But you can't break her heart by staying away forever. She's your own parent; you need to talk things out."

Sasuke curled tighter together. Kushina walked over to the young teen and patted his hair lightly. "You know you're always welcome to stay with us, but I'd like to tell you that this is the last night I can cooperate in this. Tomorrow you're going back."

The Uchiha knew his best friend's mother; she could be really stern when she wanted to and she would most likely drag him home no matter if he wanted to. He nodded shortly.

But he had already decided that if Itachi never came back, he would never go home again.

"I'm going to bed", he announced and carried the blanket with him upstairs; a habit he had gotten as a child. Kushina glanced at the clock and saw that it was only just past 5 PM, but she let it pass. "I'll save some dinner for you", she called after him.

Sasuke laid outspread on his air mattress in Naruto's room. He had no idea of how much time had passed, but he had heard his friend's clumsy attempt to sneak into the room soundlessly and change clothes without 'waking him up' some hours earlier. Sasuke's mind was tired, but yet he couldn't sleep. Everything about Itachi was clouding his mind and filling senses, and there was no way out of this labyrinth of obsession and attachment. He was still not sure how to show his feelings, but he knew that something must happen soon, or he was going to lose control. He was imagining, and his brother – his very own brother - was here now in this moment, climbing on top of him, rubbing his skin, stroking his hair and kissing him deeply, pouring so much love into him. But yet, it was all an illusion.

Sasuke felt the tension wrap around his body like a sweet ribbon and he arched his back softly only to be caught by his imaginary brother's arms when he came down from his high. Itachi's soft voice was in his head right now, telling him sweet things and making him shiver and writhe insatiably, rolling around restlessly in his bed. The man's soft black hair was caressing his face as he bent down and kissed him hungrily and with a passion that turned Sasuke into a heated mess on the bed, not knowing what to do with himself.

The sky above them was dark velvet blue and stars were falling, surrounding them with faint, sparkling light. Sasuke's mind was messy, and now it was hard to separate dream from reality. It was raining outside on the dark streets but the enormous sun far away in space that was Itachi reached all the way to his frozen heart and made it open like a flower to the sunlight. He was overwhelmed, filled to his very limit with all the words that got stuck in his throat. As they ate at each other's lips and Sasuke was inflicted with both pleasure and pain a moan was torn from his throat and his heart was racing, making him greedy. Itachi's whispering words in his ear made him want things he never had cared about before. And he heard these words from his mind in his head, a swirling desire burning deep inside.

_I want him to take me completely, to devour every single piece of me. _Sasuke threw his arms back on the bed and he couldn't seem to lay still. His breathing was thick and uneven. A part of him wondered how the fuck he ended up like this, after believing for his whole life that he was asexual or at least straight. And his sexuality didn't matter anymore; it was the fact that they were _related _that should have made him cringe with disgust. But Itachi's stunning body and the deep emotions in them were turning him on shamelessly and he was lost.

_Even though he is my brother, I still want him so damn bad… I want to touch him and love him. And then I realize that it's called incest and it's a **crime**. A filthy crime, but still as beautiful in my heart._

Sasuke took a deep breath and opened his eyes, feeling the world become clearer when it was all over. He felt so alone now, knowing that this night would not be easy. Where was Itachi? Was he even alright?

He was soon sleeping like a small child, caught in another world where he was together with his brother. How it had felt to wake up and meet the reality for those past weeks… and even now as he slept, he knew somewhere it could not be true. No matter how much he dreamed about it, he had thought it never would come true. After all, everyone had deceived him.

But his sparkling angel was there now, shining his light down upon him from above. Soft raven hair entangled in Sasuke's fingers, scarlet eyes smiling at him. His body was calling out for his very own savior, someone who could take him away from the life he had called his own as long as he could remember. But something was changing; his angel was on its way away from him. Itachi was gone; disappearing like smoke between his fingers and nothing was left. Suddenly he felt haunted in his dreams, but it was impossible to get away in time. Someone was chasing him, and with adrenaline rushing through his dream body he ran and ran through the most unfamiliar and well-known places, but he knew that something was missing.

When he finally reached a safe place, covered by ashes, he knew that he had no choice but to hide. Fragments of an unfamiliar voice were clear, together with absurd images. And there… he found Itachi. But his angel was not strong anymore; he was lying down and his eyes bled red; covering his face with crimson liquid. Sasuke wanted to save him; he wanted to protect that fragile being that once had given him the same safeness. He bent down and wanted to hold Itachi close, to clutch him against his chest, but it was impossible. No matter how he tried he wasn't able to touch his brother – the elder was disappearing further and further away by each moment, and Sasuke was alone. He felt like drowning in blackness and sorrow, but no one else could see and no one else was there.

He woke up sweaty and breathless from his nightmare and buried his face in his pillow to silence the violent sobs that tore through his body. He was scared. No, that was a far too weak word to describe his horror. He was terrified. Something dark and heavy was lingering in the air, sweeping into his heart. Somehow he felt… that Itachi's and his life was in danger. But he didn't know where, or what the threat was. Where did it come from? Crying, trembling and clutching the sheets tightly he could see his brother's red eyes for his inner vision, with fierce white teeth glimmering as he spoke, black hair falling over his shoulder…It was just a dream; he reminded himself as he tried to calm himself down; just a pesky little thing that was not his reality. And dreams never turn into reality, right?

_Just a dream, _Sasuke mumbled as the tears ran down his face. And now he could remember.

_He ran to his brother as fast as his unstable little legs could carry him. "'Niki!" he called out over-joyed. His beloved nii-san was there in front of him. He smiled at him and lifted him up. "Hello there, little brother. I'm home."_

_Sasuke wrapped his tiny arms around his brother's neck and placed a messy kiss on the pale face inside of the black rain coat with overwhelming affection. Although he was too young to verbally be able to express all of his joy, his 'Niki could understand. Itachi let his hand run through his hair for a moment. "We'll never be apart, Sasuke."_

Itachi's beautiful face faded away for Sasuke's inner vision and his head felt heavy from sleepiness. Damn it… the tears wouldn't stop falling no matter how he wiped them away. He curled up to a small ball in a futile attempt to keep himself from shattering and wrapped his arms tightly around his knees. A sorrow and a pain, caused by a terrible loss, was waking up deep inside of him like a roaring beast that had been awakened from its deep slumber, and now he couldn't restrain it anymore.

He felt like standing on the edge of a cliff, hesitantly, wondering if he would be strong enough to take that step… to actually jump. But when he thought about it, he had already jumped. And now all that was left was the fall.

Itachi was in his life for _real _and Sasuke for the first time felt the indescribable pain of being so cruelly separated from his sibling return with full force, like an extended reaction that finally reached the surface. And now it was too late to stop the enormous waves that were thrown against land.

.

_**xBxuxBxbxExlx9x7x**_

_.**  
**_

Cold, orange street light lightening the puddles of water. A sky as black as the dead itself hovering above, only artificial light falling on the lifeless body lying in a puddle. The rain falling endlessly, drowning the world in pouring wetness. Something depressing with the whole view, a fallen man.

Sasori bent down and shook the shoulder of the person on the ground. "Hey, get up or you'll be run over by the next bypassing car. Can you hear me?"

The black-clothed body remained motionless. The red-haired man sighed.

"Leave him there, un", an offended voice was heard. "I don't care at all. I could show with a bang how many fucks I give about his sorry ass, but I can't 'cus I don't give a single fuck about him, un. Let's go, danna."

The other glanced at his partner. "Be it, but it's our business. We have to help him or Leader-sama will punish us. Help me getting him on his feet."

The blonde artist snorted and sent Itachi a wry look that the man obviously didn't notice. He was lying with his face against the wet asphalt and groaned lightly. Sasori noticed the amount of the damage now – the black-haired man's arms were completely covered with blood. He helped Itachi to stand up and examined him with a mix of boredom and tiredness. Deidara demonstratively took hold of Sasori's hand and continued to glare at Itachi.

The man seemed distant, and the redness in his eyes faded away to its usual dark grey color. His face seemed worn and tired, and the scars beneath his eyes were deep and defined. Sasori started walking down the road, supporting half of Itachi's weight until the man regained some of his strength and could stumble his way to their hide-out.

"You look like Kakuzu dragging a drunken Hidan home after a night out", Deidara muttered jealously where he trailed behind them.

After much muttering from Deidara and patience from Sasori (who forced himself to remain patient because of his mission) they finally got into the apartment that they had bought with a false name. Itachi stopped right inside of the door, looking around confusedly although he had been there before.

"Sasuke", he muttered, more to himself than to anyone else before he collapsed.

Sasori's eyes widened. "I think he has gotten an internal bleeding! Deidei, hurry up and bring him to the bed, we must treat him immediately!"

"I don't want him in _our _bed", the blonde muttered, still pissed.

"There is no room for argumentations. You know very well that it is our responsibility to care for Itachi and Kisame if something goes wrong. Don't make me repeat it again, brat."

With slight difficulty, mostly because of Deidara's unwillingness to help they carried the slim body to the only bedroom and placed him on the middle of the double bed. Itachi turned his head from side to side restlessly, mumbling something, and his arms were spread in an unnatural angle. His tight dark shirt had gotten a big dark stain over the chest – blood spreading rapidly from a wound.

"Maybe it's not as serious as we first thought", Sasori muttered as he hurriedly but carefully dragged the shirt off the wounded and started examining him. "The wound doesn't seem to be very deep."

"That would be a shame, un", Deidara muttered. He kept a close distance to his partner all the while.

"Bring me some alcohol", Sasori ordered hurriedly without looking at him.

"We don't really need to, you know. Just open the wound and let the blood flow", Deidara muttered. "Some pain has never hurt anyone, un."

Sasori sighed. "Don't make me impatient, brat. I've worked with poisons and I know how pain in a big enough amount can immobilize the body and create worse effects. And we need him to go numb for a while, or he might start vomiting. There might also be an infection, seeing as he has most probably been hurt with a filthy weapon. If he gets soil in his blood, it's over."

After hearing about this threat Deidara brought some whisky and quite willingly, while still putting on a face of disgust, helped to hold Itachi's head up while he forced him to drink the strong liquid. The black-haired man coughed violently for a bit but it seemed to work as a quite effective drug that left him all done on the bed. Sasori bandaged his chest and checked his vital functions while his partner stayed in the background, glaring at the man on the bed. At some point past midnight Kisame showed up together with Kakuzu and Hidan.

The later was laughing and joking, obviously drunk while his partner was rather grumpy. Hidan never seemed to take anything seriously. None of the men thought about calling an ambulance; they knew that Itachi was quick to recover and they didn't want any connection with people seeing as they were criminals themselves.

While Deidara complained loudly about Kakuzu and Hidan doing nothing useful but fucking like rabbits in the kitchen, Sasori and Kisame sat with Itachi who was still unconscious. His breathing was even and they knew his strength was quickly returning. There was something with him that was hard to break down, and even though he had accidentally let down his guard after talking with his brother on the phone, being taken by Yakuza and after managing to escape being thrown out on the street bleeding half to death, he was alive.

"It's like Zetsu said", Kisame grinned, "He_ is_ ridiculously strong. And all that blood… it's a wonder that he didn't start vomiting all over."

Sasori gazed a moment at the empty bottle of sake on the night stand. That would keep him drugged for a while.

When morning came Itachi had slept deeply without waking up a single time, only mumbling something in his sleep. He slept the whole day and around midnight he woke up again, clear-minded but tired, and was able to talk with his partner within a few hours. Groaning slightly from pain, he changed clothes while Kisame reported to Pein on the phone.

.

_**xBxuxBxbxExlx9x7x**_

_.**  
**_

Sasuke sat in the kitchen and counted the ceramic tiles on the floor over and over; creating patterns with his gaze that only he was able to follow.

"Come on, dattebayo", Naruto complained. "Are you just going to sit here the whole day and play huffy? Move your lazy ass so we can do something fun!"

Sasuke answered by simply laying his head down on the table like a tired dog.

"Fine, be like that then", the blonde boy answered. "I'm going out. Have fun with my mom."

"She's been a pain in the neck lately", Sasuke muttered. Not that he was ungrateful for what Naruto's parents did for him; he just didn't want anyone else to push him in his own matters. Naruto stopped. "I know. It's a wonder that she hasn't cracked anything yet." Looking around hastily as if he was checking for hidden microphones, he added:

"I think she is on her period."

Sasuke struggled to keep his face neutral. Naruto always managed to make him smile.

Instantly catching the change in his friend's mood, the blonde pretended to attack him and they had a playful wrestling match on the floor. However, it ended hastily when Sasuke tried to get Naruto off him and the other turned a chair over.

Silence…

Then a roar from upstairs: "NARUTO! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

"Sorry", Naruto called nervously. Kushina didn't say anything else though, and they sat down on the floor in a neutral position.

"You should be grateful for that mom of yours"; the blonde boy said and nudged his friend. "If my mom found out that I almost burned the school down –" He had lowered his voice dramatically so that Sasuke almost wasn't able to hear. "- Then we would get a taste of the Red Hot Habanero - a mad monster punching everything within reach." He shuddered, reminding just how angry his mom could be sometimes, and what she had told him: _With my long red hair flying, as I beat_ _my bullies half to death, I gained another nickname -_

Sasuke shrugged, getting back to his previous mood when he was reminded of Mikoto.

"While your mom is like '_Sasuke darling may I please clean your room for you?'_", Naruto muttered. "I actually think you're spoiled."

"I'm not!" Sasuke defended himself immediately. Inner anger flared up, quickly and unstoppable. "At least you have a father who cares about you! –"

He bit his tongue hard to stop himself and Naruto looked at him shocked. "Wow, man, chill out. I didn't mean it like that…"

"Forget it", Sasuke muttered when his phone started vibrating. Hope spread through his body like a drug and he snapped it open, ignoring his friend's wondering gaze. Naruto had known Sasuke since kindergarten, but he had never seen him react like this. Sasuke was caught up, the world stopped for a few moments. "Hello?"

The voice he heard next was painfully comforting. "Sasuke."

"Itachi", he breathed, overjoyed. It was such a relief for both of them to be able to hear the other person's voice, finally.

He could hear the elder taking a deep breath. "Are you okay?"

Sasuke burst out: "Yes, are you? Where are you? I –" He couldn't help this rush of emotions now, how he had started rely on Itachi for his whole survival. Now he just wanted his big brother to be there with him.

"I'm fine, Sasuke. I…was wounded some days ago, but there is nothing you should worry about. I will be coming home to you and your mother soon."

Sasuke chewed at the inside of his cheek for a moment, and he was pained again. "You can't."

He could hear unconcealed surprise in his brother's voice. "What happened?"

Sasuke closed his eyes, pushing away the bad memories. "I'm… not at home now."

"What about Mikoto?" Itachi seemed to be sensing it all already with his sharp intelligence. Sasuke got defensive, feeling how those bad parts of his personality got the best of him.

"We've… fought. I… I don't ever want to return home. I just can't take all this… I just had enough. "

"Don't say anymore, Sasuke." His brother's voice had become soft, understanding. Sasuke gritted his teeth when he felt his yearning claw at his heart and his voice became slightly more desperate. "I don't want to see her ever again! I'm not going home, even if you force me. Everyone can force me, but I'm not going."

"I understand." The younger couldn't make out any feelings but worry in the other's voice. "Don't worry; I'm not angry with you."

Sasuke pressed his nails against his palm fiercely. "Damn it…" He closed his eyes tightly. "I miss you. I want you to be here right now with me. Itachi…"

"Hush", the elder comforted him. "I'll be with you before you know it. Where are you staying at the moment?"

"At Naruto's", Sasuke mumbled. It felt like Itachi smiled into the phone. "Wait for me." Some seconds passed, and he continued: "Otouto?"

The younger struggled to keep his voice intact. "Yes?" he croaked.

"I love you."

Sasuke could feel something burn beneath his eyelids and he opened his eyes. "I know."

After some seconds, he interrupted his brother who was about to say something and he whispered: "I love you too. Too much."

After he had hung up, he could feel insecurity filling him. He realized that he had become far too obsessed with Itachi in a too short period of time, and he could feel that if something went wrong – if, just if, Itachi didn't take this as seriously as he did, then he would break.

.

A whole little eternity later, Sasuke was still sitting in Naruto's couch and looked up when he heard his name being called, softly.

And there, standing at the door, was the person that immediately could reassure him that even with all his imperfections, flaws, insecurities, trouble-makings and defenses, he was perfect. He was standing up before he knew it, hurrying over to the elder.

Itachi took him in his arms and embraced him tightly, and Sasuke was falling into him, pressing himself against the elder's chest. He felt vulnerable and overcome with longing.

Finally, they could finish everything that belonged with the extended confession. Sasuke took a deep breath, feeling completely content by being in his brother's company. This was like every dream he had had, but even better. He could really smell the unique, sweet scent that was lingering on Itachi's pale skin and feel his soft hair through his fingers.

And when he looked up at that face nothing else existed anymore. Itachi bent down and rested their foreheads together, still keeping his arms around his torso. Their lips were so close, so close, and Sasuke had to hold back with all his strength to not kiss him madly.

Now he was actually happy that Naruto's parents were out shopping and Naruto had gone out with Sakura, and they had the house for themselves. He dragged his brother to the big couch in the living room and held his hand in his the whole time. The firmness, smoothness of that warm hand was what kept him alive.

They sat down tightly together and Itachi looked him deeply in the eyes. "What is troubling you?"

"It has nothing to do with you", the younger said smoothly. "I'm just so glad that you're safe. I was… so worried about you. What happened?"

The elder was obviously not buying his attempt to switch subject, but he answered nevertheless. "I… was captured. A stupid mistake, I was too unfocused. But I managed to escape after fighting one of Yakuza's men."

Emotionlessly he opened his jacket and an apparently too big white shirt, and showed his bandaged chest. "I was stabbed, fortunately not very deep, but I lost consciousness after a while. Sasori and Deidara took care of me." He smiled a bit, and as usual he looked perfectly gorgeous even with his tired face and slightly bloody bandage. "But they got the idea to drug me with alcohol first, thinking I couldn't handle the pain."

He seemed slightly amused, even after this, but Sasuke felt sick.

"I'm causing you so much trouble."

The look in Itachi's eyes changed. He reached out to touch the younger's cheek, and Sasuke let it happen. Insecurity was sweeping in over him, but he loved the elder's touch. A part of him wanted to leave the room, and tell him to stop, but another part was holding its breath with anticipation.

"No, how could you ever", the elder breathed softly as he leaned closer; "You're the reason I'm still alive." Sasuke could feel his cheeks heat, but still, he wondered. He knew that in order to keep himself from breaking at some point, he must doubt. What did Itachi want? What did he _really _want?

Did he just want his little brother back, a brother that he barely knew, but wanted because it would give him a sense of having a family?

Did he want Sasuke for who he was, because he really loved him and was interested in his life and welfare, caring about what he thought and felt?  
_Itachi seems to be crazy about you, Sasuke…_

Or… had his real intentions nothing to do with _Sasuke _as a person? What if he just liked messing with other people's minds, just wanting… sex?  
_Maybe he is just a sick pedophile who wants to get into your pants?_

Sasuke hated himself for even thinking the thought. But he had to know.

Itachi frowned slightly upon seeing the thoughts collide in his eyes, but nevertheless leaned closer as if to kiss him. Surprising them both, the younger raised his hand and stopped him. Itachi froze but didn't pull back. His eyes got that concerned look again. "What's wrong?"

Sasuke looked down in his lap, unsure how to express himself. "Earlier, you said: 'We can't.' Then you said 'I can't' when I tried to kiss you. And now you want to kiss and everything... It went so quickly for me." He raised his gaze and looked almost apologizing at the elder. "I'm not the kind of person who throws himself into new situations, all the time. We can't go any further until I know what you really feel for me. If you're not sure, then I want to stop here, right now. You are my brother, but what I feel is so much more. I need to know. I love it when you say that you care, but I'd rather be alone than betrayed and lost again. My whole life I've been feeling incomplete."

Sasuke lowered his gaze again and could feel Itachi looking at him, intensely.

"Only if you... if you can complete me, then we can proceed." He swallowed hard. "I feel... vulnerable and... unsure. I'm going to break if you betray me."

Itachi closed his eyes. So frail, his baby brother... He looked at Sasuke again, seeing how lost he seemed, being all by his own in this, confused to the very limit.

Carefully he wrapped his arms around the younger body and lifted him into his lap. Sasuke looked at his hands. "All my life mom's been saying 'I love you.' She said it every single day, and soon it didn't mean anything to me. Do you know how sick I got of hearing that? 'You're the only one I have.' I felt as if her whole life depended on me. Sometimes I wish she would say 'I have many else in my life besides you.' What I want is someone that truly... love me, not her desperate way of 'loving' me so I won't run away or anything. It's as if she's afraid what I might do if she doesn't show me enough affection each day. But it all seems so... empty."

Itachi gently entangled his finger's with Sasuke's, listening closely while still feeling his heart skip a beat every time he inhaled a little bit of his little brother's sweet scent.

Sasuke was relaxing a little bit in his arms, showing that he accepted the touch while still not enjoying it thoroughly. "I feel that everyone is so untrue. I really don't know who to trust anymore. There are many people who adore me, but I don't know which would really... do anything for me, you know." He stopped, took a deep breath and finally turned around and faced his brother.

"So I wonder... if you... you know, sometime back then, when we lived together, when we were both kids... I know I was little, but... Did you ever... Did you...?"

Itachi tightened his gentle grip around him. His voice was grave and soft.

"You're asking me if I ever loved you?"

Sasuke rested his head against the elder's shoulder and nodded. "I can't take more lies and empty promises. All I want to know if you really care. And with that I mean if you care about how upset I am right now. Because, if you just think I'm pretty like everyone else does, then I don't want to see you anymore. I can't start anything with you if I don't know what you really feel. "

Itachi didn't answer at first. Then, after a long pause:

"You're a good kid. Let me tell you, little brother, how I feel." He looked Sasuke in his eyes and all the young teen could see was a snow-white sincerity. Maybe that was the truthfulness Sasuke had been searching for so long.

"At first I'm sitting with you in my lap, a chubby little toddler whose vocabulary only consists of the word 'Niki' and we know each other so well. I can tell you about everything and you will laugh that way that makes my heart fly in my chest. And then, when I find you again after nearly twelve years, I feel that nothing has changed, all those years are gone, but still, you've changed. Suddenly I see a healthy and popular teenager, surrounded by his friends, knowing things that I don't. You don't remember me, you don't remember how I sang you to sleep, fed you, kissed your little feet and tickled your belly when you were little. And I realize how much I've lost. I've lost all those years watching you grow up."

Itachi's face was heavily painted with sorrow, and his eyes were so emotion-filled that it made the younger boy's heart cringe in his chest. Itachi gripped his hands and Sasuke could feel that he was slightly trembling. Suddenly he felt the urge to cry.

"I won't make this more complicated. I love you, Sasuke. I've loved you since I saw you for the first time at the hospital and no, don't tell me I'm lying. I'm your brother and those two years we had together when we were little... if you hadn't been there, I think I wouldn't have managed to go through our parents' fighting. I've loved you this whole time more than my own life. You've been everything for me, and you still are."

The younger felt Itachi press his face against his neck, despairing. "I will say 'I love you' in all eternity if it can make up for all those years when I couldn't say it to you, but I know that won't help. But now I won't ever leave you again, Sasuke. Nothing will bring us apart. "

He placed a soft kiss on the back of Sasuke's neck, but the younger shook his head, holding on to the elder's hands tightly.

"Make no promises. I wouldn't survive if you broke one."

Itachi raised his head and they looked at each other for a moment. "So what do you want?"

Sasuke leaned forward and his lips searched Itachi's. There was so much he wanted to say, but couldn't express verbally. He needed love. He needed someone who would tell him the truth. The elder immediately understood and they connected in a soft, despairing kiss. Sasuke pressed himself against the elder, needing him like he needed oxygen in this moment. Thirsting for him.

Itachi took a firm grip around his sibling's face and kissed him with such intensity that the world started to spin for Sasuke. Right now, but only now, he felt healed. A tiny bit at least. They broke apart for a moment and while they gasped for breath, Sasuke could feel a healthy blush adorn his cheeks. Itachi smiled and saw it too. It was somehow easier to breathe now.

Itachi started kissing him again, this time much deeper, slower and sweeter. Sasuke closed his eyes and let out a soft moan, feeling warmth spreading over his chest. This was deep warmth, like a seed lying under soft earth to slowly turn into a flower, fed by sparkling water and a kind sun.

He became more eager and gripped his sibling's face in impatience. Their tongues met and nothing, nothing had ever felt better than this.

"I love you, Itachi" he mumbled and looked up at his brother, stunned. It was the second time he ever had said it and it _tasted _good; it felt good to be able to say it and mean it with his whole heart.

Itachi hugged him tightly and nuzzled his neck. "I love you too, Sasuke. More than anything else in the world."

The younger leaned his head against Itachi's chest and tried to catch his breath. He wrapped his arms around him and sighed. Then, he finally found the right word. It had been lying on his tongue for such a long time and finally found its way past his lips.

"Thank you … nii-san."

"From now on, you'll never have to feel alone or scared", Itachi mumbled against his hair. "I will keep you safe, and you will never have to fear anything."

"I already do", Sasuke mumbled and breathed deeply of his scent.

Itachi frowned slightly. "What is troubling you?"

Sasuke looked up at him. "Loving someone more than your own life always means that you have something to fear."

The elder suppressed a tender smile and let his fingers run through Sasuke's soft hair. "I won't die on you. Look at me, little brother."

Obsidian met obsidian and Sasuke scowled. "Don't look so sad, Itachi! It's not like I would ever allow anything to happen to you anyway."

His brother smiled. "I know." He leaned down and rested his forehead against Sasuke's, after giving it a quick kiss.

Their fingers entangled and Sasuke closed his eyes, enjoying Itachi's body heat so close to himself. "Never go, nii-san. Never ever …"

He received a glance of sincerity before Itachi nodded. "Never."

Sasuke tilted his head upwards in a silent request that his brother accomplished. As they lay down on the couch, so tightly pressed together as it was possible, the elder mumbled: "Will you go and talk with Mikoto tomorrow?"

Sasuke nodded calmly against his chest before he closed his eyes.

When the Uzumaki family returned home together with Sakura they were all quite shocked over the stunning sight of their guests. Naruto and Sakura gaped, unable to understand why _Sasuke _of all people would be sleeping like a puppy on the couch, tightly hold by their Math teacher – _their own fucking teacher_ – like they were a couple or something. And none of them were stupid; by seeing the two Uchihas, both pale, black-haired and unbelievable similar, they realized that Sasuke and Itachi shared a deeper bond that they had thought.

"Siblings?" Minato asked weakly, putting down the shopping bags he was carrying.

"This is so touching", Kushina mumbled and put a blanket over the sleeping two; ignoring her son whose eyes were about to plop out at any moment, and Sakura's excited giggling in the background. "I just can't throw them out. I guess I will have to call Mikoto again."

.

_**xBxuxBxbxExlx9x7x**_

_.  
_

Fugaku rose from the floor. The smell of alcohol was surrounding him in a daze, and he stumbled around half to death from anger. He was going mad. Uncontrollably and insanely mad. He wanted to kill something. Misuse of alcohol mixed with some drugs was what made him like this, and no one was going to stop him.

When Itachi came here to pick up his last things some days ago, Fugaku had searched through his jacket pockets for any money, but the only thing he found was a damn magazine. He had been about to tear the damn thing apart or use it to wipe his ass when he saw the headlines - _Genius 13-year old wins the Smart-_ He had immediately recognized the goddamn whore kid on the first page, and he had gone mad.

He didn't know how he managed to fool Itachi, but now he was standing here clutching the same magazine. Heh, he had _stolen _it from that foolish prick.  
He stared at the emotion-cold, pale, almost feminine face surrounded by black hair and he knew what to do. He knew where they were.

He was going to punish them. All of them. For leaving him like this, for betraying him.

He would start with the whore. The false bitch he once had married, how she _dared_ to leave him. How she had dared to talk about child protection services and the lives of her children.

Mikoto belonged to him, and if she had escaped, then it was his role as her ex husband to kill her. Yes, he would punish that whore so dearly. He would break Mikoto down from the inside out, rape her, violate her and then kill her with a bullet through that pretty little mouth. She'd experience real pain again. He'd torture her, and laugh as she screamed. Because she had gone too fucking far. How the fuck could she think that _she _could just escape and moreover take _his _kids?

Some people would call it honor, the way he was determined to hunt down his young ex-wife, but to him it was all about revenge. No one betrays Fugaku Uchiha and gets away with it.

Then, that goddamn whore kid. It had filled him with disgust already from the beginning – the way the little scared body writhed and screamed as he beat its mother. Yes, that disgusting whore kid that Mikoto dared to call his own son would die. And if Itachi was there, trying to protect his dear 'baby brother', then Fugaku would punish him too after forcing him to watch as he broke down Sasuke part by part, until he begged for his life.

The hate was boiling in his mouth and he gripped a knife in a steady grip, knowing that no one – not even the fucking cops – would be able to stop him now.

* * *

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**Feedback is greatly appreciated and makes me update faster!**


	11. Keep Me Safe

**A/N: **This is sort of an extra fast update, thanks to you!I just want to say how happy I am for having you guys here – you never fail to make my day with your reviews! You are what help me fight against my disease, stand up to the haters and go through everything else. I'm so grateful for having you fellow shippers by my side. You guys are simply the best! I love you all!

**Pieces Of Me: Chapter 11:** **Keep Me Safe**

* * *

A blurred vision of reality hitting Sasuke when he felt himself waking up inside of a warm embrace, feeling soft lips at his neck. His brother was apparently already awake. The elder had his arms wrapped around his waist and Sasuke could feel his body heat warming him. Sitting up, he looked around in the bright room. He realized that he unintentionally must have stayed another night at Naruto's house, together with Itachi. They were still lying in the couch in the living room, wrapped in a blanket. From the kitchen he could hear the Uzumaki family eating breakfast and the sound of the radio.

Itachi's long hair was untied and fell around him like a firm curtain. "Good morning, little brother."

Sasuke reached up his arms and wrapped them around his brother's neck. He could feel Itachi shift weight and straddle him gently. Sasuke could feel himself become submissive almost at once, enjoying the feeling of the two of them pressed together. Itachi smiled at him. "You're so beautiful."

The younger of the two frowned slightly, as an automatic response. His older brother chuckled a bit. "I'm sure your fans at school have told you this so many times, but it's true." He stroked Sasuke's cheek gently. "There is nothing more beautiful than you in my world."

The younger boy shook his head. "Yes it is."

Itachi opened his mouth to protest, but Sasuke silenced him by putting his index finger over his lips. "No one can be more beautiful than you, Itachi. Have you ever looked at yourself in a mirror?"

The elder answered by kissing his finger softly. Then he started licking it gently and Sasuke closed his eyes at the comfortable yet unfamiliar feeling. He shuddered when he felt his finger touch his brother's teeth and he raised his other hand.

Itachi suddenly looked up and pulled back from the finger.

"Is there something particular on your mind, Naruto-kun?" he asked politely.

Sasuke turned his head violently and inwardly cursed when he saw his friend standing at the door opening, looking really displeased.

"No", Naruto muttered but he continued gawking at them. Inside he wondered what the _fuck _was going on. Their teacher – whom they met every day, the one who was trying to teach them Math, who was scolding Suigetsu, assigning their Math grades, giving them more homework than any other teacher and was a frequent threat to his manliness by getting more admiration than even Sasuke – he was here now, pinning Naruto's best friend to the couch in a very intimate position. What angered him even more was that said best friend seemed to _enjoy _their positions. He had thought that the day Sasuke would let himself be submissive, the world would end. But apparently not. He left the living room upset.

Itachi turned back to his brother and noticed the slight frown on his face. Reaching down to sooth the wrinkles out with his hand, he caught the expression of his face. Sasuke seemed distressed. Giving him his wordless support, Itachi pulled him closer and hugged him tightly. It was not romantic in this moment – it was only brotherly, but so lovingly, so tenderly.

Sasuke thought about all the difficult questions that he still hadn't gotten any answer to, everything about the past that he was unsure about. Questions that only Itachi could and wanted to answer him. He felt that his brother's sturdy body was holding him up even emotionally and he finally found the words:

"Why did our parents break up?"

His brother's face became instantly graver. He pressed his face against Sasuke's neck, almost despairingly. Sasuke pressed him tighter to himself and his lips touched Itachi's neck. However, the elder was looking him in the eyes when he responded.

"They… were often fighting. About different things, such as… money and alcohol. It simply didn't work for them in the end." Sasuke couldn't fail to notice how Itachi seemed to be censoring his words carefully, but he didn't push him further.

"You don't need to cover the truth… nii-san. It must have been about us too, right? We must have done something wrong when we were little, we must have pushed them a lot..."

Itachi's black eyes became much more intense all of a sudden. "It's not your fault, nor mine, that they separated. No child has the power to destroy their parents' relationship. I want you to remember that, Sasuke. It's never the child's fault. They had their own problems."

They looked deeply into each other's eyes, in a simply yet so affectionate gesture.

Itachi raised his hand and caressed his little brother's plump lips, softly, wanting sooth his unconscious pout. He still hadn't told Sasuke everything – namely, the horrible truth that Mikoto's escape had been planned.

He had heard her cry in her bedroom the night before when Fugaku wasn't at home, but Itachi had only assumed that she was sad like usual. And not until afterwards Itachi realized that she had called a taxi and prepared everything on beforehand. That was also when he understood that she had known that she would not be able to bring Itachi with her. She must have realized that for her children's best, she would have no other choice but to leave without Itachi, or Fugaku would stop all of them. Fugaku always viewed Itachi like his only and highly treasured son; he would never let him get away.

Itachi had never felt any real anger for what Mikoto did; all his anger was directed towards his father. In the end he was grateful that she had taken Sasuke with her, and although she didn't keep in touch he didn't resent her. She had told him that she loved him before she left, and that had kept him going for all these years. Even though he had cried, despaired and died inside, his little brother's wellbeing and happiness had always been the most important thing.

Sasuke on the other hand was still confused. "Tell me more about our father."

Itachi sighed and he could feel his body tense as an automatic reaction. After a moment or two, he spoke up: "What do you want to know?"

"Everything. Where he is now, if you live with him..."

Itachi pulled him into his lap. It was as if body contact with Sasuke had become essential for him to relax. The younger of the two enjoyed their touches, it made him feel so worshipped.

"After our… separation, I lived with our – I guess you could call him 'father' technically speaking – but for me he is 'That man' or possibly 'Fugaku'. We moved here to Konoha recently. Right now I live in my own apartment, and I don't really keep track if he's alive or not. He still drinks a lot."

Itachi's voice was quiet and strained and Sasuke realized that it was hard for him to talk about it. But his brother continued still.

"I met Kisame and Sasori at the age of fourteen and I joined the Akatsuki back then. After that, Pein and Konan let me live with them most of the time so I wouldn't have to be anywhere near Fugaku. They treated me like their own son, although they are not so much older than me. I got money by doing missions for the organization, and Pein and Sasori taught me a lot. I was teamed up with Kisame and we were a very… strong couple, so to speak. It was a way for me to learn how to control… my inner emotions."

Sasuke felt Itachi grip his hands tightly and he squeezed them; unconsciously comforting the elder. Itachi nuzzled his neck lovingly, but his eyes flared red.

"I did things that I… regret now, a bit at least. I was always angry back then. I've always hated Fugaku, but that hate became even more defined after… that certain day long ago. We didn't have any contact at all although we were living under the same roof. He was rarely at home – we moved to a small apartment later when we run out of money – and I focused solemnly on my studies, not knowing why. But we couldn't escape from each other's company in the end. He was my legal guardian still, even though I spent so much time with Pein and Konan. They were even thinking about adopting me –"

Itachi's face had become a bit lighter and the redness in his eyes faded away when he was talking about his young 'foster parents' – "But Fugaku wouldn't let that happen. I ran away from home several times but I always came back in the end, knowing that he was my only link to the rest of my family. Hoping… that our mother would call him or send him a letter sooner or later, and then I must be there so I could reunite with you. But it never happened. Years passed, my anger grew, but you and Mikoto were gone."

"Which actions do you regret?" Sasuke looked down in his lap, wanting to get to know his brother better.

Itachi closed his eyes and swiftly let his hand run through his little brother's soft hair. "Members of Yakuza have always interfered with our business. Pein wants us to eliminate them, and Hidan, Deidara and Kakuzu are more than willing to accomplish his orders." He chuckled a bit, but it seemed dryly.

He looked into his little brother's eyes. "I've also… done such things. I've murdered, stolen, kidnapped, done all possibly bad things you can't imagine. At first I did it out of helplessness and anger, in my first difficult teenage years when I was lost, when I had no real friends to trust and nowhere to go. Then the time came when my missions required it. As happy as I am to get to clean up some of Japan's criminality, I don't like fighting in particular."

"But you're good at it, if you could escape from Yakuza on your own", Sasuke stated and buried his face against the elder's chest, happy to get to share Itachi's confession even if it was blood-stained. Already from the first time he had seen the elder's red eyes, he had sensed that he was not to play with. His brother put his strong arms around him and Sasuke felt safe yet so vulnerable for his touch.

Sasuke moved his hands up to Itachi's beautiful face.

"Really, a part of me wants us to be completely ordinary siblings. And there are still so few things I know about you… I don't know your favorite food or what you like doing the most on your free time. I don't know what's making you angry or sad and I don't know how to make you happy… Ordinary siblings know that sort of thing. They _know _each other. They can fight without being enemies, and they can be best friends and hate each other at the same time. They can be mad at each other, but they will still love and forgive each other in the end, no matter how angry they once been. They will trust each other and help each other through… they will have common interests and share both good and bad moments of their lives… They will watch each other break down and be overwhelmingly happy… They will share so much. Until they've grown up… then it often ends. Or at least, this is only what I've heard. I've grown up believing I was alone, so I never got to experience that kind of sibling relationship."

Sasuke looked deep into his brother's glimmering, obsidian eyes. "But I never thought I would experience having someone closer to my age, so intimate connected to me. I started to believe… that people only love their siblings because they have to; because they will grow up having them in the same family, sharing every meal and weekend and movie with them. There is no way to get away from each other. That made me wonder… what is a family, for real? What is a sibling? I've gotten so cynical in my whole way of thinking. Why do we have friends? Because we doesn't want to stand alone. Not because they are wonderful people we like being with. Why do we mourn our dead? Because we can't reach them anymore. Not because they were people we loved. "

His fingers were placed on Itachi's cheeks and he kept looking into his eyes.

"Do you want us to be 'ordinary' siblings?" the elder asked him gravely.

Sasuke closed his eyes and leaned closer, feeling how Itachi's smell and softness and breathing was affecting him like a sweet drug, how the elder was cradling his sensitive heart in his hands. "No. I know that being just close to you – without holding hands, touching your lips, feeling your breathing against my neck – that will never be enough for me. I need so much of you - all of you."

He opened his eyes again and they were so close that nothing else existed in the world but the two of them; their hearts beating as one, alone in space.

"They say that anyone who can touch you can hurt you, or heal you. I realize it's true. You've left fingerprints on my heart, and I can't erase them. But you need to be careful, brother…" The emotions were swirling inside and Sasuke was only an inch away from Itachi's face and his eyes looking so deep through him. It felt so painfully sweet inside, and Itachi's firm, soft hands going under his shirt were bringing him so much satisfaction.

"I've opened up to you like I've never opened up to anyone before. You've broken through my walls and I'm all left out to you." Sasuke moved his hands down to his brother's and they collected over his waist. Still, he felt so vulnerable, so fragile, in front of his beloved. "You need to be gentle, or you will bruise me."

He felt as if he had been underwater for a long time and finally was able to breathe again when he felt Itachi press their lips together ever so softly. He pulled Sasuke closer to his chest. "I will be careful", he whispered. "I will help you build up your walls again; I will be your defense for as long as you wish. You can lean on me, little brother, and I will give you strength."

Sasuke's hands were blissfully wrapped around the elder's neck, his body leaning into his brother's. Itachi's love was wrapping him into a protective shell of happiness.

Itachi could only gaze lovingly into his eyes, once again wondering what he ever had done to deserve all this – deserve to find Sasuke alive and healthy and get to receive so much of his love. He pulled his little brother closer, drowning in the cute pout that appeared on his face, and suddenly he couldn't help himself.

He reached out his hand and his middle and index finger poked Sasuke's forehead gently. The younger boy's eyes widened with surprise and his hand automatically went to rub the abused spot.

"What was that for –" he burst out, but stopped when he saw the whole-hearted smile that appeared on his older brother's face. Itachi almost _laughed, _and he seemed so happy. Sasuke stared at him and his heart throbbed with delight. His stomach muscles tightened, telling him that he would _die _if he didn't kiss him now. He could feel his heart being wide open, so defenseless to his brother's touch.

A voice was suddenly heard: "I would be mean if I kicked you two out without giving you breakfast first. Come and eat when you feel ready."

They looked up, Itachi with his usual mask of passive politeness and Sasuke slightly annoyed. Kushina smiled motherly at them before she returned to the kitchen.

Itachi sighed and smiled at Sasuke before he carefully got off him and stood up. "Come, otouto. We have things to accomplish today."

.

"We had no idea that you had an older brother, Sasuke", Minato said a bit confusedly and reached for the juice can.

Naruto who was sitting beside his dad gave Sasuke a strange, almost upset look from the other end of the table but the young Uchiha was too dazzled to notice. He felt Itachi's hand touching his and he realized that trying to talk with Naruto's parents would be a difficult task right now.

Fortunately his brother was quicker to catch up. Itachi's face was once again smooth and unreadable. "The same goes for Sasuke, Minato-san", he said politely. "To make a long story short, we were separated by accident when we were younger."

Sasuke bit his lip.

"That's so tragic", Kushina said pityingly where she stood at the stove. Minato nodded agreeing. Naruto still looked rather pissed, and now Sasuke couldn't fail to notice it.

When they were about to finish the meal Itachi suddenly stood up. "Excuse me, my boss wishes to speak with me", he said hastily and left the room with his cell phone in his hand. Kushina shook her head disapprovingly. "Poor boy. How hard are they driving the young people nowadays?"

"Far too hard", Naruto muttered.

Sasuke soon went upstairs to pack his few belongings that he had brought here, and he was more annoyed than surprised when he realized that Naruto was following him.

"What's up, dobe", he asked half-interested and started collecting his things. Naruto was behaving exceptionally strange – he was leaning against the wall and continued to look at him with that offended expression.

"Nothing." The usual friendliness was gone from his voice, but Sasuke didn't have enough time and energy to really wonder what was wrong.

The silence was thick and suffocating, but it lasted only for some moments.

"I must say… It's amazing that you've become such a smartass and everything, despite the circumstances."

Sasuke froze with his bag in his hands. He could feel himself instantly becoming defensive. "Which circumstances?"

Naruto glanced at him. "You know, growing up without a dad and everything…"

"You must be kidding." Sasuke was glaring at him now, suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to punch him to the ground. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

His friend scratched the back of his head, scowling. "You know, when your parents are not living together, your mom is working so hard and everything. It must be so hard not to give up everything."

Sasuke couldn't believe his ears. "So what if my parents are not living together? Are you having any trouble with that?"

"Considering that your mom didn't have a choice but to raise you all on her own and take all responsibility for you after your dad left…"

Sasuke gritted his teeth. The last pieces of his happy morning mood were completely destroyed now, and he could feel his temper flaring up. "Of course she had a choice, you moron! She chose this life by herself and my dad didn't leave her – _she_ ditched him and left. Why are you bringing all this up?"

Naruto looked at him for a moment with narrowed eyes, before he spoke up, ignoring his question: "What the fuck happened between you and Itachi yesterday? You two are behaving like a newly-wed couple, and that's really weird."

Sasuke could feel his irritation grow rapidly. Of course, his family situation had never been the core of this conversation.

"What do you think? He was hung-over, I was tired, and we fell asleep. End of story."

Naruto closed his bedroom door with a bang and stepped closer to Sasuke, raising his voice. "You owe me an explanation! Do you know how shocking it feels to find my best friend and my damn teacher in a couch? Fucking sleeping together? He is so much older than you! Have you forgotten that you're underage and he is like twenty! I get that he treats you specially but this is not normal – it's _pedophilia_! And if he is your brother – even more gross!"

"I don't owe you shit", Sasuke hissed. "What's wrong with you? I never asked for your opinion."

Naruto grimaced. "So you slept with him, or what? In _our _house?"

Sasuke grabbed him and slammed him against the wall. "You annoy me", he growled. "I can't fucking believe it. Your imagination is crazy. Do you really think I would do something like that with my own brother, in your house no less? Do you even think Itachi thinks like that?" He laughed coldly. "You must be even more stupid than you look."

It was not that he wouldn't want to do something like _that _with Itachi, but it bothered him that Naruto was going on about it, more fussing than his own mother.

Naruto looked upset. "You hardly know him and you don't even remember him from before! Stay away from him; he is not good for you. You're not like you were before, Sasuke. What if all this 'lost little brother' talk is just made up? What if he got information from someone else just because he wants to get in contact with you? I'm sure he's a pretty good liar."

Sasuke let go of him and Naruto almost hit the floor. Once again he almost laughed. "Fine, but stay the fuck away from me from now on. Now I see why you're going on about this all of a sudden. "

Their eyes met; flaring obsidian and burning blue.

"You're scared", Sasuke continued mercilessly. "Scared because no one ever wanted to go out with you, scared because even me, whom you secretly thought would remain 'emo' and 'forever alone' for all future have found someone and you don't want to be left behind. And to tell you the truth, it's not I who am spoiled – it's you, Naruto." Sasuke didn't care anymore; his mood was completely ruined and he didn't think about any consequences. His usual calculation of when to stop had gone on vacation and the offended anger was in charge.

"Having no siblings makes you unable to understand the whole concept of acceptation, responsibility for someone else as well as feeling the urge to defend them. It's just too fucking hard to understand for someone who has lived with two overprotecting parents all his life, getting all their affection by himself."

"That's not true! And every day until now you also thought you had no siblings!"

Sasuke straightened his back. "Now I know. And you will _never _understand my life and the sacrifice one can make for their siblings, the feeling of giving up everything for them. And then I'm talking for Itachi too. Your family has always been wealthy – you never knew how it felt to run out of money each month, watching your mom work twenty-four seven just to keep you with food. You never knew how it felt to wonder who your dad was, if he was even alive. You don't know how it feels to meet someone you'd give up your whole life for. You've lived a good life and yet you look down on me. You _can't_ understand the bond I have to my brother, and you can't even tolerate it because _you've never had to tolerate any fucking thing. _You're just a _spoiled_ only-child."

He almost spat out his last words and they seemed to echo in the sudden silence. Naruto's eyes were wide, unbelievably shocked.

"Sasuke –" he burst out, enraged.

"Just _shut the __**fuck **__up_", the black-haired spat. "Shut up! Shut up! I don't want to hear any more of the fucking shit that comes out your mouth. Just cut it out! No one is interested in your goddamn opinion! Yes, I love Itachi and yes, it's 'forbidden, wrong,' or whichever word you want to use. But I seriously couldn't care less what you fucking think about it! And don't ever – _ever _– talk bad about him in front of me! Don't mention him at all, or you'll regret it!"

"Sasuke!" the blonde boy called after him, but he was already on his way out.

xxxx

Sasuke stood outside on the street, waiting for his brother to join him. Itachi was still left in the house, talking to Pein.

The bitter taste in his mouth hadn't faded away yet, and he had turned his back against Naruto's house long ago. The way he felt right now was so hard to identify, even for himself. He didn't know if he had overreacted and destroyed everything by himself, or if his best friend had really let him down. He hated this. He hated feeling so explosive, attacking the people closest to him. It was hard to admit it, but he missed Mikoto now. She always used to be there, giving him her unselfish and lovingly advices and support.

Suddenly he saw the front door open and Itachi stepped out, spotting him instantly. He was smiling so gently, with his black ponytail flying in the breeze. Sasuke found himself rushing towards him until he felt his brother's arms around him. Inside he was gasping for breath, clinging to the elder, desperately seeking for love and acceptance.

He wanted nothing more but to be kissed by Itachi, forget everything else.

And when Itachi's lips slid over his own smoothly, Sasuke closed his eyes and focused on the intimate feeling of getting his brother's air breathed right into his own lungs. They shared oxygen and their lips were like made for each other; they fit perfectly in every way. Itachi's right arm was around his back, pushing him closer to him. His free hand was gently caressing Sasuke's cheek, making the younger boy feel so unbelievable precious. The heat from their bodies pressed tightly together were warming and comforting, and the Sasuke felt so safe in Itachi's embrace. The elder moved his head slightly and caught Sasuke's bottom lip between his lips, sucking gently.

The younger stared into his eyes, caught in Itachi's lovingly, tender gaze. This must be how it felt to fly, thousands of miles above the ground.

Sasuke's arms tightened around his brother's bigger body. He closed his eyes as he felt Itachi tongue gently slip into his mouth. There was no battle of dominance, only a gentle touch. The warmth of the elder's tongue together with his hot, sweet breath was making the younger boy delirious. He was not sure if his heart would be able to handle all these amounts of sheer bliss. The older Uchiha pulled back and now pressed his lips repeatedly against Sasuke's over and over again, both softly and firmly.

The younger gasped for breath and his body melted into Itachi's. He wondered if it was possible to get even closer, to become even more attached to him. Every time their lips met, Sasuke received another little bit of healing love and his heart was beating so fast. He couldn't think straight anymore; he knew that his thoughts must be both pathetic and exaggerated, but he found no space left in his mind to care about such things.

At last Itachi pulled back. He bent down and rested their foreheads together. It was apparently a favorite position of his to relax, and they could breathe each other's scent so deeply. After a moment he moved his face and kissed the younger boy's face.

Sasuke opened his eyes and felt Itachi's soft breathing against his forehead.

"You can't go", he told him and his hands wrapped around his neck. "Now it's too late for you to ever go back. I need you in my life." Itachi pressed his lips against his face; his cheeks, chin, nose, temples and neck. "You won't get rid of me", he said softly. "I just couldn't stay away from you, and I simply don't have the strength to do it ever again."

The wind was sweeping the elder's hair over Sasuke's face and he could smell the intoxicating smell from Itachi's skin and clothes and fresh grass nearby. He wondered for a moment what Naruto's neighbors would think if they saw them now, but once again – why care about what other people thought? He raised his hand and caught some strands of his brother's hair and pressed them to his lips.

"I don't really know what I'm going to tell mom", Sasuke confessed and looked down for a moment. "And I fought with Naruto too. I can't seem to stay away from trouble."

Itachi cupped his face in his hands. "There is nothing wrong with you. I can talk to him if you want to."

The younger boy sighed. "As it is now, we won't get anywhere. But if you do, please don't… get all overprotecting." He looked up at the kind look in his brother's eyes. "I still want him as a friend."

Itachi nodded and kissed his upper lip gently. "I will explain the situation to him."

Sasuke closed his eyes briefly and ended the kiss. It was tempting to stay there all day and just kiss Itachi, unaware of everything else, but reality called.

"Don't be nervous", Itachi whispered softly as if he knew what he was thinking about. "I'm sure you will sort everything out with our mother."

It felt strange to hear someone say '_our_ mother'. Sasuke was used to be the only one who could call Mikoto by that, but now it felt oddly comforting to get to share her with someone else. He never thought it would feel like that, but it was true. And now he would never have to feel that everything was depending on him alone.

His unsettled heart was calmed by his brother's confident smile. "Tell her what you feel needs to be said. But remember that she loves you above everything, Sasuke, and she didn't have any choice but to leave without me. You could have been seriously hurt – "

Itachi closed his eyes for a while and disallowed Sasuke to read his emotions –"Both physically and emotionally, if you stayed. It was a hurtful choice she made, but she just hoped to save you because you were incredible important to her. I am speaking nothing but the truth, otouto." The elder opened his eyes, and they were displaying that pained expression again. "I was there, and I remember."

Sasuke looked at him for some moments, before he nodded. He trusted Itachi. And in order for his brother to reunite with Mikoto as well, Sasuke knew that he must take the first step.

"Now go", Itachi said and caressed his cheek a final time. "I'll be coming as soon as I've talked with your friend."

Sasuke turned around and forced himself to leave his brother. Itachi was giving him some time to talk things out with his mom on his own, and for that he was grateful. He could feel Itachi's eyes in his back and although he knew that he had his brother's full support, his steps felt heavy as he walked home.

**xxxxx**

_Itachi crouched in the corner of the room, sobbing. Mikoto bent down and pulled him into her lap. "Litte prince, don't cry. Mommy is here."_

"_Kaa-san... why did Tou-san hit you last night?"_

"_It's nothing serious"; she mumbled and buried her face in his hair. It had been a long time since the six-year-old last took a bath, and she concerned swept her hand through his shoulder-long hair. "You need to get some sleep", she whispered._

_Itachi shifted weight in her lap and wrapped his skinny arms around her neck. She involuntary grimaced when his left leg made contact with her belly._

"_Careful, darling."_

_He froze. His big black eyes were wide, and she could see all those emotions cursing through his little body. "Mom... did he beat you up again?"_

"_No, sweetheart. I'm... "_

_Mikoto forced herself to relax a bit and hugged him carefully. "You are going to get a little brother or sister soon."_

_Itachi carefully adjusted himself and stared at her belly that was slightly rounded. He was very mature for his age, sometimes too mature. He understood perfectly well._

_His face was both bewildered and shocked, but at the same time unbelievable __happy __in some way. He instinctively placed his hands over her belly, as if he wanted to reach or shield the life in there. "When will he arrive?" he breathed._

_Mikoto smiled. "He _or_ she is not ready yet, you'll have to wait some months__."_

_Her hands placed over his smaller ones, and together they shared a silent moment, rejoicing for the new family member._

"_In here", she said gravely, "it's something more precious and vulnerable than you have ever seen. It's more important and it has a greater worth than everything we own. You'll become a big brother, Itachi, and I feel that I can entrust you with that."_

_Itachi's eyes were just as grave as hers and they held a snow-white sincerity. "I'll always protect him from father."_

_She was touched. He already referred to the unborn one as his little brother._

_But her thoughts darkened. It was so easy… so easy… to stop this already now. She didn't want another child to suffer like Itachi did every day, and she was terrified that Fugaku would beat her so hard one day that the child inside of her would die. She had had a rather tough period with her husband recently, and more than once she had been forced to do things that she really didn't want to. And Fugaku didn't care about periods or preventing mistakes, he did what he wanted to._

_Mikoto thought about the tablets she had bought earlier today. It was so easy; all she had to do was to swallow a tablet or two. Just a pill, that had the power to make her body reject the intruder; to kill her child before it had seen the light of the day, to steal Itachi's unborn sibling away from him before they had even met._

_But soon, it would be too late for that. Soon a pill would only cause more damage, and she would have to go to a hospital and do cruel things to the baby to make it disappear (she hated herself for thinking that way, but it was impossible to get away from the truth). And no matter if Fugaku cared or not, he wouldn't let her do that. This was her only chance, a choice she had to take now. If she could do that… if she could become a murderer - _

"_Mom… you look so sad."_

_This was the last day of Itachi's childish innocence; from now on he would become quiet and never tell her what he thought or what he felt. He would grow far too fast._

_She forced herself to smile. "I'm not sad", she lied. "I'm just so happy that you will soon have someone to play with after school."_

_Itachi's young face beamed. _

_Mikoto felt so bad for telling him all this; who knew what would happen. Her fingers toyed with the topknot on the front of her apron. What if she would die one day? How could she then leave Itachi alone, together with a younger sibling to care for? It tore her apart inside to make all these promises._

_But the way his eyes shone when he glanced at her belly, she knew she wanted to let this life inside of her out, alive and ready to meet the day._

_She was standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom later that day, staring into her own battered reflection. Bruises all over her arms, shoulders, face and chest. Beside the sink she had placed the package with tablets that she had bought, and she let the water run and hoped that they would wash her tears away. Her shoulders were trembling with despair, but she had decided._

_In this moment, she was feeling everything possible a human can feel. She had been tripping on her tip-toes around her husband for so many years, and for every approach, every touch, it was like jumping through a ring of fire. If Itachi would be able to fall asleep before midnight, if any of them would get any food this week, it all depended on Fugaku's mood._

_She could not get away from this consuming relationship; she just refused to abandon Itachi. Still, she was unable to stop her suffering. It tore through her body, clawed at her bruised heart and she already knew that licking her wounds was in vain, because she always ended up hurt again. She was burning inside, pleading for it all to stop, as she tried to get him off her some nights, fighting. But it didn't help to scream – she would only fall down again, powerless. The constant ache in her heart, how she still was addicted to him. She hated to show how she had completely lost all control over her life, how she was unable to do what she needed the most. _

_She heard the front door open and she closed her eyes, hoping to God that he had had a good day. _

_Maybe he was furious… or needy… or despairing… overjoyed, sad, and whichever, she would be there and take it all. She picked up the pills and her hand tightened around them for a moment, sending a whisper through her mind: 'Swallow. Swallow.' _

_She was torn between right and wrong, but she would not kill her baby. _

_She already loved it. Even if it had been forced into her body with so much pain and tears, she knew that it was innocent. It was not a mini devil from Fugaku; it was her very own child. A… baby. Her eyes filled with tears. Itachi's little sibling. _

_Her baby._

_Swiftly she hid the tablets in the bottom of the trash bin and turned around. The fist of her husband hit her face a moment later, sending her backwards and hitting the sink with her back, making the world go black. _

_**Xxxx**_

Sasuke stood inside door again, on their old worn out _Welcome home _door mat that his mother had bought long ago. Everything looked just as usual, but he knew that he had hurt Mikoto almost unforgivably. Nothing was like before.

Slowly he took his shoes off and breathed that scent of his home that should have made him calm. But his heart was pounding nervously, and his throat felt dry. Suddenly he wished to have Itachi by his side, feeling his soothing hand in his. But he had to do this on his own, because he was the one who had messed up. Again.

He saw her there in front of him, standing in the opening to the kitchen. It was hard to realize what he had told her. After all these years… She was still there, the only parent he had ever had, standing with her yellow apron tied over her simple clothes, long black hair falling down her back, those same black eyes filled with tenderness. But she was grieving, and she wasn't doing anything to hide it anymore.

Sasuke swallowed hard. He wished desperately for a way to turn time back, to just go back to those times when they would sit in the old couch together a Friday night, watching an old cliché movie and laugh together. It had been so easy back then, and now when he thought about it, he had never had to suffer. He didn't know what he was missing back then, and somehow that had been a great relief. Sasuke realized that his mother's choice had been out of love and just to save _him. _

Mikoto didn't move. She simply remained in the doorway. "Welcome back, Sasuke", she said like every other day, but she didn't smile.

Sasuke couldn't think anymore; he was overcome by emotions. His mind hardly registered his next movements until he was standing in front of his mother and hugged her tightly. He didn't know how to apologize for all this, but he knew that he needed his mom still. Needed her so much.

Even if he been so stupid and even though the hurt was great, they would forever remain a family, Sasuke and his mom.

They had often talked about that he was growing up, turning to an 'independent teen'. But he still needed her warmth and comfort when she seemed to be as far away as possible. Sasuke breathed her reassuring scent and wished with all his heart that he could undo how he hurt her. Maybe his heart could heal from this – together with Itachi's infinite love – and they could start all over, the three of them. They could create their own little family; forget those parts that never had worked.

"I'm sorry", Sasuke whispered, "I'm so sorry…"

He felt her raising her arms after some moments in silence and she carefully hugged him back.

"Sasuke", she breathed, "You're so similar to your brother right now… I can see his eyes looking at me…" She wiped her tears away that suddenly had started falling, but it came new ones all the time. "I know I must be strong. I shouldn't cry."

"It's okay, mom", he told her, "You can cry. I don't mind…" His throat felt thick and suddenly he struggled to hold back his own tears.

"I've always loved you, Sasuke", Mikoto whispered. "More than you can ever know. You are my child, and I'd die for you. I'd give up my life to save you without hesitation. That is what a parent is prepared to do for her child, no matter how old he is. Always remember that, sweetheart. Always."

They were both crying now, hugging each other tightly. Sasuke let his tears run and Mikoto held him against her chest as she said: "You don't know how much support you've given me all these years. You're my life, sweetheart. And so many times you've given me hope when I couldn't breathe, when I was breaking down inside. I want to you know, how… happy I was to carry you inside me and give birth to you… feed you with love. Even if your father isn't here now… I've never needed anyone else but you and Itachi."

Sasuke cried his heart out, feeling so small and shielded.

"You probably can't understand this yet"; she raised her hand again to dry her cheeks, "How it felt to have you, my baby, loving you so infinitely, knowing that your whole life was in my hands, and I was your mother and you were mine to protect. So tiny you were, when I supported your head with my palm, and held you close. And I know…" Tears were still running down her cheeks and she was trembling with emotions, "That Itachi feels the same. I could see it his eyes when he looked at you when you were little, that you were the most important person in the world to him. And after we moved here and I would cry, you would crawl into in my lap and kiss my face… Mumbling about your beloved 'Niki and Mommy. Those two persons you loved with all of your tiny little heart, those persons that loved you from the very beginning."

She held him in her arms, and it felt like only yesterday she sat on the floor in her old home with Itachi in her lap, holding her hand over her belly where Sasuke were sleeping deep inside of her. And the decision to keep him was the best one she had ever made.

"I'm sorry too", she said quietly and tenderly stroked her child's pale, tear-stained cheek. "Maybe I should have told you about all this from the beginning, I realize now. But I just… I couldn't stand the idea of letting you suffer, missing a person you barely could remember."

Sasuke looked up at her and then buried his face against her chest. "I can just hope that this will inspire you in some way, Sasuke, that you will become stronger from this suffering you also have gone through."

"I don't blame you for leaving our father", Sasuke finally said. Their eyes met and he could see relief on his mother's face.

Mikoto touched the faint scar on her neck. "As much as I don't want to see you and Itachi having a single trait from your father... I can't deny it, you are his kids and will forever be. I wonder, if you're ever going to forgive him..."

Sasuke let go of her now, feeling calmer inside. "Was our father an alcoholic?"

"Back then, he was, yes. I also drank from time to time…" Mikoto's gaze became distant. "Everything was fine at first, but when he lost his job it became harder for us to maintain our relationship. He became more violent… he was abusive."  
A moment of silence.

"What happened after you left with me?" Sasuke wondered.

Mikoto sighed. "I didn't think I would have to talk about this so soon, but I know it's important. "I wanted to get a divorce and make it legally right, but I knew if I ever returned to him, he would most likely kill me, and you, for that matter. So you can say we're still married according to legal papers, but I haven't heard anything from Fugaku since that day we left. I moved here to Konoha to start over, but it was a hard time.

At first you were often calling out for Itachi and you asked me every night 'When does Aniki come home?', but after a while you started to forget about him. Like every child your memory was moving on, and he started to fade away from your consciousness.

I didn't want to remind you of Itachi, because I was convinced you'd suffer less if you didn't know that you had a brother. You were barely two years old back then. But Itachi was eight and I knew he would never forget you. It broke my heart. But I had to do what was best for you. I didn't want you to grow up in all fighting and abuse."

There was a soft knock on the door.

"I'll answer it", Sasuke said quickly and disappeared into the hallway. Mikoto remained left, drying her face with her apron. She heard an unfamiliar voice: "Naruto told me where you were living." That voice reminded her of someone, but she couldn't recognize it yet.

"Itachi!" That was definitely Sasuke's voice. She froze, feeling her heart pound anxiously against her rib cage. No, she told herself, it can't be…

The soft voice spoke again: "Shouldn't you be calling me _nii-san_ by now, Sasuke?"

Mikoto inhaled sharply. She stumbled forward, losing her composure fast.

And there he was, entering her small apartment. Side by side by her younger child, she saw him. Her oldest son, standing in front of her.

**XxxxxX**

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**A/N:** So I'm being a little cruel today and cut it off here.. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! I will try to update faster, but once my beta catches up it will definitely go quicker. You can follow all updates and previews on my tumblr (Bubbel97).

Please review!


	12. The Invisible Memory

**A/N:  
**My reply to an anonymous review: My native language is Swedish.

Thanks for the reviews everyone! I've worked really hard with this chapter, so enjoy!

* * *

**Pieces of You: Chapter 12: The Invisible Memory**

_Mikoto inhaled sharply. She stumbled forward, losing her composure fast.  
And there he was, entering her small apartment. Side by side by her younger child, she saw him. __Her oldest son, standing in front of her._

Sasuke turned his gleaming obsidian eyed towards his brother and smiled encouragingly. Itachi gave him a glance filled with emotions before he squeezed his hand and looked at their mother.

She was brought to tears by seeing them this close together, showing such deep affection. Mikoto couldn't think; her heart felt as it was squeezed tight, pouring everything inside out. Her beloved son was looking at her with a simple, yet very kind facial expression and she couldn't breathe with happiness. He had survived. He was here now.

"Itachi…" With her face striped with tears she held out her arms. She was barely able to speak, too overcome with emotion. In the next moment she felt Itachi's arms around her and she hugged him with an almost suffocating force. Her baby, her beloved son… he was here.

Happy sobs were tearing through her chest, and she squeezed her eyes tight as she pressed her son tightly to her, pretending that he was still a child and no time had got lost. She couldn't stop crying; it was too heartbreaking to have him here, after all the years she tried to convince herself that she would never ever see him again.

"Forgive me", she whispered, "Please forgive me."

"I already have", Itachi answered simply. "You've taken care of Sasuke, mother."

_Mother... _Had she ever done something good enough to deserve these wonderful kids? She opened her eyes and saw Sasuke standing behind them, looking unusually peaceful.

"Come here, sweetheart", Mikoto said and pulled him closer. Sasuke felt Itachi put an arm around him and hold him to his chest, and their mother embraced both of them tightly. Finally she felt complete.

She looked at Itachi again, drinking in every detail of his beautiful face. At first sight he was almost uncomfortable similar to Fugaku, but once you looked closer, you saw a more detailed and well-formed face. He had gotten most of his traits from his father; he didn't share Sasuke's and Mikoto's almost bluish black hair or their porcelain-white skin. His skin tone was some shades darker, and his dark grey hair had no hint of blue. But still, there was an inerasable similarity between he and his younger brother, in how they moved, how they talked and behaved.

Itachi was very tall; way taller than his mother. He was very slim, but Mikoto could see raw strength in his arms and thighs. His jaw was a bit marked, just as his father's, and the tear-troughs on his face that were barely visible when he was a child were now deep and defined, disgracing his face. There was something feminine about him, though. His eyelashes were long and thick, and his fingers were long and slender.

Her son was there, and he was no longer a lost and deprived eight-year-old. He was soon twenty years old and already a grown man. A man that was her pride, her other treasure.

"Itachi", she breathed again, and his name was sweet on her tongue. In that moment, she was thrown back to another world, another life, so long ago.

She had held her newborn son in her arms, seeing how wide and shocked his eyes were. His life had started so sudden; he was ripped out and completely defenseless. Still feeling sore and exhausted but so happy she had clutched him against her chest, protecting him against all the new things. She'd help him cross all the paths of life, she had helped him taking his first steps and she had sworn to always be there for him when he needed her. But she couldn't keep that promise.

And now he was in front of her and she was still embracing him. She was able to really feel his skin, his smell and his life. Itachi was alive. He had made it through on his own, just as she had known he would. Mikoto hugged her children close to her chest. Sasuke mumbled a faint protest, but she just smiled.

If she could only go back in time and redo it all... So much would be changed if only she had known better, if she had figured some way out to deceive Fugaku and bring Itachi with her. If only she could… if only. If she could change the structure of the world, the society, she would.

"I want you to know", she said with thick voice, "Both of you, that if there was any way to make your childhood worth living, I'd find it."

Itachi nuzzled his little brother's face. "It was worth living", he said and looked at his mother with grave eyes, "for as long as I had a goal and I dream, I knew I would survive everything."

Sasuke looked at him and he knew the suffering behind each and every of his brother's words. They squeezed their hands tightly together and he wondered how Mikoto would react if she found out that her own, beloved children actually were in love with each other. Probably she would not appreciate it, Sasuke realized and glanced at Itachi. His elder brother gave him a deep look and then shook his head almost unnoticeable, as if he knew was he was thinking.

Mikoto looked at them with heartbreaking happiness all over her face, and Sasuke leaned his head against Itachi's chest. And they were similar. Everything, from their fingernails to their earlobes and the blood flooding through their veins, everything was identical. The evidences of their brotherhood would always remain clear, exposed. Itachi wore their similarities with pride.

Sasuke realized that before they met, he had never had a single dream or goal in life. Nothing that could make him happy, nothing that he enjoyed doing in particular. But since he learned the truth about all of this, the world had turned beautiful. Suddenly he could see meanings where there had been nothing but emptiness before.

He was a bit surprised by his mother's next words: "I realize now that I should never have kept the truth from you, Sasuke. If there was one thing in my life I could do over, I would change that. You might not realize it, but I've known all the time how unhappy you were. My attempt was in vain, and it was not worth it. I almost lost you because of my lies and efforts…"

"I forgive you", the younger ravenette said. He couldn't be mad at her anymore, once he realized how she really felt.

His mother kissed his forehead. "I'll let you spread your wings more freely from now on, sweetie. I know you can."

Sasuke gave her a quick, honest smile before he grabbed his brother's hand again. "Come with me, nii-san."

Mikoto's eyes sparkled. "You're still calling him by that name?"

Sasuke's eyebrows knitted. "Of course, why wouldn't I? He is my brother."

He could feel Itachi put his arms around him and bury his face in his hair. "I love you."

Sasuke bit the inside of his cheek and felt himself getting impatient. His lips were practically screaming for completion. "I'm gonna show him my room now", he said, struggling to keep his voice neutral as he pulled his brother with him. "After all, we have a lot to catch up on."

Mikoto smiled a bit and shook her head lovingly, petting with her apron. "I'm going to prepare dinner", she called after them and dried the last tear from her cheek.

.

Sasuke dragged his brother with him to his room and closed the door behind them. A moment later he felt Itachi's hands around his waist, pushing him gently against the wall. They kissed deep and sensationally, tongues pushing together and lips pressing against each other softly but firmly. They shared air and saliva, blinded for the world around.

Sasuke could hear the elder hum quietly with content and his stomach muscles clenched with delight. He had started to react so strongly, all of a sudden…

Itachi's bangs were stroking his face as he leaned closer and his body was pressed against the younger boy's. There was nothing left in space except for the two of them, their lips molding so desperately and their tongues pushing and searching…

When the lack of oxygen was dazzling Sasuke beyond all survival, Itachi pulled back. Softly stroking the younger's face, he let go and lay down on Sasuke's bed.

The other raised a hand and felt his cheeks burn hot. "What are you doing?"

His brother smiled and his hair covered his face as he nuzzled Sasuke's pillow. "I want to see if your bed smells just as good as you do."

The younger snorted but couldn't stop a smile from finding its way to his face. He lay down beside his brother and wrapped his arms tightly around his torso. Itachi breathed deeply and raised his hand to stroke his brother's hair.

They lay still, just looking each other deep in the eyes. Itachi's eyes were so gentle, so kind, and Sasuke wondered if he was thinking about their childhood.

"I wish I could remember", he muttered. "Those years…"

"It will come back to you", Itachi reassured him and slowly let his fingers run through Sasuke's hair. "Do you remember me from back then?"

The younger of the two closed his eyes. "Sometimes, when I'm asleep… I see your face, but you look much younger. I'm just a kid, and I run up to you and say…"

He opened his eyes when he felt Itachi's hand stop in his hair. The elder was staring intensely at him. "What did you use to call me back then?"

Sasuke knitted his brows. "I… can't remember."

He hated seeing the disappointment in the elder's eyes, but it was soon gone. Itachi continued caressing his hair in long strokes, tenderly. "It doesn't matter, after all. I remember."

Sasuke buried his face against his brother's chest. If only he had got to grow up together with him… if only he knew. But he had just been a foolish little kid. He barely remembered anything.

"It will be alright", the elder comforted him. "You will maybe remember it soon… otouto."

_Otouto… _Sasuke bit his lip. Wasn't this what he always had wanted, a big brother? Being someone's younger sibling, someone's _otouto._ And now, he was. But he had never imagined having these twisted feelings - both platonic and shameful at the same time. He couldn't stop staring at Itachi's face, imagining the first time he saw his face since their separation. It was so _beautiful. _It held all the safety Sasuke needed, and had searched for.

"What will happen after this?" he asked.

"I will have to go home, sooner or later", his older brother said and continued petting his hair.

"You can live with us! I'm sure mom would love it!" Sasuke said eagerly.

Itachi smiled. "Thank you, but I already have an apartment."

The younger boy suppressed a slight scowl. "What more are you going to tell me? That you've finished University already too? Let me guess, you went to the moon last week and –"

Itachi silenced him with a quick kiss. "Only University, not the moon yet", he smiled.

Sasuke shook his head disbelieving. His brother must have extremely much time on his hands, and being a real genius if he had accomplished that much already.

Itachi sighed softly against his neck. His thoughts were apparently very far away. "I often used to stroke your hair like this; it makes me calm. I like touching you, it's very relaxing for me."

Sasuke could feel himself getting calmer by each moment, soothed by Itachi's warm hand.

"I used to think… that having a big happy family was a privilege for lucky people. Something I'd never experience. And if I lost mom, where would I end up then? If mom died, I'd be all by myself in this world, broken. And that was what I thought about you too, ever since we first met. How could I ever be enough for you? I am nothing, I have nothing. My existence is useless." Sasuke gritted his teeth. "You felt like a dream, to perfect and wonderful to be true. And you can't grab your dreams and replay them forever. Someday they might come back, but only for a short moment. But you… you're still here, for some weird reason. And you… saved my life. You dragged me back to that boring, never-ending cycle of life I was stuck in, but then you showed me the meaning behind everything."

Itachi cupped his face in his hands tenderly. But his eyes were dark with sorrow.

"I know, Sasuke", he said quietly. "I used to think the same. What you feel about me – you don't understand how similar our thoughts are. You were the dream I was searching for every breath of my existence. What on earth would I do without you?"

Sasuke took a trembling breath and looked up at him with graveness in his liquid obsidian eyes. "Whatever you were doing before I came along and messed up your life."

Itachi chuckled a bit, but his eyes remained grave. "I won't ask you 'what the hell where you doing inside of the burning school', but I will continue keeping a very close eye on you, otouto. You seem to… attract trouble, from every direction."

Sasuke closed his eyes, resting his head in his hands. "For the last time, I did not stay in there by free will", he protested. "Can't we move on already?"

"As you please", Itachi said quietly and Sasuke looked at him again. He sensed that Itachi had not moved on, but he let it go and listened to his brother's words:

"I've always felt a very strong… responsibility for you, Sasuke. Not only because I am your older brother, but also because when we were little I was often the only thing that stood between you and our father's abusive hands. And I realize that this responsibility has not changed. If anyone ever wants to hurt you, they will have to go through me first."

Sasuke looked up at him, wanting to tell him the same, but Itachi added: "I'll never let anyone hurt you."

They stayed like that, lying in each other's arms and holding on to each other tightly. Itachi was once again relieved that Sasuke's young age had saved him from all the psychological torment that he himself hadn't got rid of even now. Forgetting was never easy, and the mental scars inside of him would forever remain.

.

**~Memory~**

It was an evening two years after Sasuke's birth. They were eating dinner together, the four of them. Fugaku was rarely home nowadays, but when he was, it was like everything was perfect. Mikoto had done everything she could to please him the whole evening, cooking his favorite food, but still he seemed disgraced with everything she did. He had been gone almost the whole week and no one knew where he had been.

Nothing became better when Itachi noticed the bottle of wine on the counter. It was a rather unusual sight in the most homes in Japan, as most people drank sake instead. But in their home, it wasn't. Fugaku spent almost all of their money on alcohol.

The dark bottle had been filled completely when Mikoto brought it from the cupboard. Now it was almost empty. Not a good sign. Their parents had drunk alcohol together with the food as long as Itachi could remember, but he knew that these amounts were not healthy. Not either the strange, excited look in his mother's eyes and Fugaku's increased grumpiness.

_She was so young with such innocent eyes  
She always dreamed of a fairytale life  
And all the things that your money can't buy  
She thought that he was a wonderful guy_

Mikoto noticed the worried glimpse in her son's eyes and stroked his cheek. "Don't worry, sweetheart. We're celebrating that your father is at home again."

But her gaze wasn't still for a moment, it moved around in the room as it was hunted. Itachi knew that she didn't like drinking – she did it to please her husband.

He could feel her wine-smelling breath and scowled, not letting his guard down. He had witnessed to many times what could - would - happen. He hated it all. Hated it when they drank, hated how they became and how they behaved.

Sasuke was sitting in his baby chair and waved with his arms. He held a spoon with food in his chubby hand and obviously annoyed Fugaku. The meal continued with silence for about ten minutes, until even Sasuke was able to feel the tension in the air. Itachi couldn't eat. His throat felt dry and swollen and he anxiously glanced at his little brother who was squealing and talking happily to himself in baby language. Mikoto tried to hush him – Fugaku hated it when children talked.

_Then suddenly, things seemed to change  
It was the moment she took on his name  
He took his anger out on her face  
She kept all of her pain locked away_

But like every little child, Sasuke was oblivious and carefree. Although Mikoto did her best to keep him quiet, he continued slamming his spoon against his chair and some food flew from it and landed in front of Fugaku's plate.

The man slammed his fist into the table and everybody froze.

Itachi's breath had become very uneven and Sasuke looked scared at his enraged father. Tears formed in his big eyes and Mikoto reached out for him, but Fugaku had already grabbed her roughly by her wrist. He dragged Mikoto with him into his bedroom and Sasuke yelled panic-stricken:

"Mommy! Mommy come back to Sasuke! Come back to Sasuke!" with his high-pitched, distressed child voice. He already sensed what was about to happen, even though he was too young to understand what it meant.

Itachi lifted him up but Sasuke wriggled and screamed "Mommy!" over and over again. "Hush, otouto, she'll soon be back…" Itachi held his little brother close and tried to comfort him, but it was in vain.

The tears in Sasuke's eyes overflowed and his small hands clutched Itachi's shirt helplessly. "'Niki…" He buried his face against the older boy's chest, sobbing.

Itachi hugged him tightly as he heard loud sobs coming from the bedroom. He – the man he could barely call his father anymore - abused their mom again. It was the ordinary 'after dinner' ritual.

_It was the day that he turned on his kids  
That she knew she just had to leave him_

Itachi crouched in a corner with Sasuke so tight to his body as it was possible, wondering how long he would be able to protect his sibling from the repeated abuse of both his mother and himself. Days like this, He would have no mercy and he would hit her until she didn't have the energy to beg anymore. Mikoto always tried to keep her voice down not to scare them, but Itachi realized what was happening anyway.

Sometimes he heard things that were even worse. Things that an eight-year-old should not be aware of, something that he should be protected from. Horrible images burned into his mind, hurting him. For every moan of his father, for every scream that slipped out of his mother's bruised lips, another little part inside of Itachi died.

Mikoto had stopped sobbing now. Instead her voice had become slightly reprimanding, but still trembling with fear. "No, Fugaku", he heard her say. "Don't … No. I don't want to. I don't want to. Let go of me."

The fear was paining both Itachi and her, and little Sasuke felt it too. Because He would never let go of her.  
Mikoto's voice became tear-filled once again but there was nothing she could do unless she wanted Itachi and Sasuke to be punished instead. "_Let go of me!"_

Another ruined dinner, another ruined night. Itachi could feel rather than hear how she gave in, her spirit breaking down with every creaking of the bed.

_So many voices inside of her head  
Saying over and over and over,  
"You deserve much more than this."_

Itachi stared at nothingness. His grip around Sasuke was so tight that the baby started to whine from discomfort, but he hardly noticed it. If he went upstairs with Sasuke now at least he wouldn't have to hear the sounds of it. But if he did, no one was there to stop Him from killing Mother if something went wrong.

He sat there on his own, distractedly rocking Sasuke to sleep. The baby had stopped whining and given up all attempts to escape; he was now curled to a small ball on Itachi's stomach and slept restlessly. The elder was used to take care of his six year younger brother; he had been the one changing his diapers and feeding him already from the very beginning when Mikoto had been exhausted after childbirth. _What would I do without you, otouto?_

The neighbors talked about them. He had seen posters in the town, "If She Doesn't Want It, It's Rape", pictures of women with the text: "My Body Is Not Your Property", and "Don't Tell Us Not To Be Raped, Tell Them Not To Rape."

Itachi knew that it was just lies. Mom's body had always belonged to Him. Itachi hated it. Mother was being raped by Father a couple of times each week, and no one had ever taught Father not to rape. Mother's body had never been her own property.

_She was so sick of believing the lies, covering the cuts and bruises  
So tired of defending her life, she could have died  
Fighting for the lives of her children _

When Mikoto finally came out from the bedroom, it was past midnight. Her long black hair was hanging messy around her and the tips were soaked with blood. She was wrapped in an over-sized dressing gown; not the clothes she had been wearing when she entered the bedroom. He must have stripped her, tearing the clothes off her as Itachi had seen once. She had put so much energy into sewing her own clothes to save money since Fugaku lost his job and moreover forbid her to take an employment. But he just tore it all off her when he got angry, not caring if he destroyed it all.

Mikoto bent down with empty eyes and clutched her sons tightly to her chest. "Mommy is here now", she tried to comfort them.

_Oh mother, we're stronger  
From all of the tears you have shed  
Oh mother, don't look back  
Cause he'll never hurt us again_

"One day, we will leave, the three of us", she whispered with trembling voice. Itachi straightened his grip around his little brother and tried to get just a little bit of the safety she could give him. But a moment later, the bedroom door was kicked open and Fugaku stumbled out in the hallway. Itachi could feel his mother start to tremble even more violently. She turned around on her knees and held out her sore and cut arms, lowering her head.

Her black hair fell aside from her neck and Itachi could see with horror the fresh blood on there.

A husky growling. "You filthy bitch…"

Their mother was crouching in front of them in a fruitless attempt to protect them. Soon it would all start over again. Once again she sacrificed herself and took more damage than what she would have got if she had just stepped aside and let Fugaku do what he wanted to with his kids.

But she would never do that, Itachi knew. She would always stand in front of them, protecting them with her body as only shield.

"Please. Don't hurt them. I was the one who made you angry, don't you remember?"

Itachi could feel his father approach like a dangerous lion and he instinctively covered Sasuke's body as much as he could. Mikoto lowered her head even more, in a praying position in front of her husband.

_All of your life you have spent  
Burying hurt and regret_

_For every time he tried to break you down  
Just remember who's still around_

_It's over, and we're stronger  
And we'll never have to go back again _

"Itachi, go upstairs", Mikoto said emotionlessly and Itachi didn't hesitate for a moment now. Although his heart ached from shame he hurried up to bring his brother to safety. Fighting back against Fugaku often led straight to Sasuke's punishment, and he would do anything to avoid that.

From downstairs he could hear rough sobs from their mother, and the sounds of something – maybe a cracked plate, a belt or a whip, slapping against her skin over and over again, tearing it apart. Itachi knew how he would find her the next morning, covered with red and purple bruises, empty, black eyes and a violated body. Her broken whispers of "I'm okay, sweethearts", and "Don't cry, Itachi", would only make everything more sickening. That man would be gone and Itachi was left to take care of everything.

Sasuke's little face looked tired and scared when Itachi started to cry for real. Just like his mother he was already doing everything he could to hide it, just for his younger sibling's sake, but even he couldn't always conceal how he felt. His whole body was trembling, his jaws ached and his eyes stung. Sasuke clung to him in scared desperation, whining "'Niki not cry".

Itachi hated it when they fought, he hated it so much. It felt like everything was his own fault. But no one was listening to him. He had no one to talk to, nowhere to go. So many times he wished that they wouldn't live together. Mom deserved to be free. Without her, they wouldn't survive. She taught Itachi self-sacrificing as well as protection, and her love was the only thing that could heal the wounds inside of her children.

_So thank you for all that you've done  
Together we'll always move on_

_You got me, I got you, _  
_Together we always pull through _

_We always pull through_

When Sasuke reached up a small hand and touched his brother's cheek in his own way of comforting, Itachi's eyes flashed red for the first time.  
He knew why he must go through this. Whom he had to save.

.

**~End Of Memory~**

.**  
**

It felt odd to be back at school.

Life seemed so strange now, so changed. Sasuke had experienced so much shock, surprises, happiness and other emotions for the past days, and getting back into the all too boring school felt so… simple. The constant panic for the French classes, Sakura trying to castrate Naruto, Sai panting naked men everywhere, Suigetsu and Karin fighting and making out in turns, everyone's crushes and fights – it was a whole different world now, so far away from him.

The first thing he saw as he walked towards his Math classroom was Naruto, Ino, Sakura and Kiba standing together. He sent Naruto a wary look, wondering how his friend would treat him after their fight. But to his relief and surprise, the blonde seemed to be cool about it. Itachi seemed to have talked things out with him in a mature manner.

Naruto grinned at Sasuke for a moment, telling him that everything was okay. Then he grimaced and spoke up: "Everyone, you better prepare yourselves. We are going to have 'mouth exercises' in French class today."

"We're going to have _what?" _Kiba spat.

"Oh please kill me…" Ino groaned.

"I'm so glad I chose extra studies instead", Sakura said. "You seem to have a hell."

"It's just Ebisu-sensei who treats us like prisoners of war", her friend said. "Get me right – I love the language but his teaching style is sadistic. When we sang Christmas carols last year – my brain felt like a cheese afterwards."

"He made _fondue _out of us!"

"According to Pervy Sensei, our pronunciation is rated as class A – really catastrophic", Naruto said and scratched the back of his head. "He said he's gonna teach us how to use our mouths. Sounds really creepy, if you ask me."

"That is going to be _really _embarrassing!" Kiba groaned.

"And I just can't make that French _r _sound! It makes my throat go really sore!" Ino complained. "I'm going to die! My pronunciation sucks! Paaaaaaanic! And I just hate it when I can't understand what he is saying! 'Look at my body language and try to understand what I'm telling you!' – that's perverse! What am I going to do? Fuck, what am I even going to say? Quick, give me a dictionary!"

Sasuke sighed. All those everyday problems seemed even pettier than before now.

He suddenly saw Itachi coming towards them, and he couldn't stop a smile from lighting up his features. How it would feel from now on, having his _brother _as his teacher… It felt good that he, Itachi and their mother had taken some time to talk things out yesterday, after their reuniting.

Itachi had told him that he was going to focus solemnly on his Akatsuki missions now when he had found Sasuke, but he was going to remain in the school for a little while longer, to spend "quality time" with his little brother as well as "keeping an eye on him." Sasuke had just snorted at those last words, but he knew that his brother was indeed worried about him. He also knew that Itachi strongly disliked his classmates, and the whole school system, but he remained there anyway.

As Itachi let the students into the classroom, Naruto halted Sasuke shortly and gave him a friendly nudge. "I just need to get this straight - your mom and Itachi's dad has gotten married so now you're two siblings?"

Sasuke nudged him back. "Actually, it's the other way around, somehow. My mom and Itachi's dad _were_ married, and there for I and Itachi exist", he admitted quietly. "_Then_ they divorced, and that's why we're here now. And I'm sorry for my outburst the other day, dobe. I didn't mean to let you take all my anger."

"Don't worry about it man, I'm sorry too… teme._" _They smiled at each other for a moment, before Naruto spoke up eagerly: "Now when he's your brother – I mean teacher – he can give you the highest grades! That's so cool!"

Sasuke frowned and glared half-heartedly at him. "It doesn't work that way, and he'll quit soon."

Naruto grinned widely. "Always the same grumpy old Sasuke."

The lesson went smoothly; it was not as strange as the young Uchiha first had thought to pretend that he was just like any other student. But Itachi still kept coming to him more often than to the others, and in the middle of class he left a neatly folded note on his desk. The action was very discrete, but it sent Sasuke's heart flying to the skies above. However, the note was somewhat of a disappointment:

_During your next class, my organization is having a meeting. I'll meet you there._

Sasuke tilted his head slightly to the side, before glancing towards his brother. That Itachi. He knew how to keep things short and proper.  
When the class was finished and the students were collecting their stuff, Naruto leaned over to Sasuke and muttered:

"I was thinking about something strange, teme. Kankuro hasn't beaten you up yet, right? He always keeps his word. It's almost as if someone has… told him to stay away from you."

His gaze warily drifted to Itachi who was standing at his desk, innocently skimming through a bunch of papers. Sasuke followed his friend's gaze just as Itachi looked up.  
His eyes were crimson red.

Sasuke quickly moved his gaze. His brother's Sharingan had an effect on him that was quite embarrassing. "I wouldn't know", he muttered in reply.

.

"See you soon, Sasuke", Itachi said in a neutral tone and nodded towards the younger. As younger Uchiha left the classroom and headed towards his locker he wondered what he would go now. Itachi hadn't told him where the meeting was supposed to be held.

Suddenly someone grabbed him roughly by his arm and dragged him down the corridor.

"Hey, let go of me!" he burst out angrily and tried to get free, but the person was holding him in an iron grip. He looked up and saw a pumpkin – no, wait – a man, and Sasuke realized that it was a man wearing a mask that was really similar to a pumpkin.

Confused he struggled to get free and heard a cheerful voice: "Tobi is a good boy! Tobi found Itachi-san!"

Sasuke's arm was nearly torn off as he found himself being dragged to a minor conference room, and another person suddenly grabbed him and punched his back forcefully.

"Hehe, look at this little motherfucking shrimp –" a raw voice was heard. "Must be a defect item."

"I said 'look for _that_ black-haired guy', not the first one you find!" something similar to a plant said. Sasuke was confused – what the hell was this? A _talking _plant?

"Do you want a lollipop, Itachi-san?" The pumpkin-man asked cheerily.

"What –" Sasuke spun around wildly and saw his Civics teacher standing together with a grinning gray-haired man; his part-time Religions teacher.

Before he had time to blink Hidan grabbed him again and wrenched his arm in a painful angle. "Welcome to us, and thanks for motherfucking sacrificing to J-"

"Stop, what are you talking about?" Sasuke burst out, trying desperately to get free from Hidan's grasp. "You've gotten the wrong person!"

"Do ya think I'm fucking stupid, you cock-sucker?", Hidan laughed and licked a knife he had in his other hand. "Someone has to be fucking sacrificed."

The pumpkin man who apparently was named Tobi spoke out: "Please forgive Tobi, Tobi has been a very bad boy!"

Sasuke looked around again. "I'm not Itachi, I'm his brother!"

"His _brother_? This is getting damn interesting, right 'Kuzu?" Hidan gave a penetrating laugh. His partner grunted in reply.

"You better let go of the kid at once before you break his bones", a bored voice was heard. "And before Itachi arrives and kills you. But it's just a hint, though. It's your funeral, not mine." Sasori strode into the room. He was closely followed by Deidara who was playing with some clay like usual, looking for a good place to perform his art.

"Who said I was going to fucking die? I'm _Immor-fucking-tal._ Immortal. Suck on that." Hidan growled amusedly and let go of Sasuke. The young Uchiha looked around and saw more people entering the room, most of them being his own teachers. Even the principal and his assistant were there.

Hidan brought his scythe up and stabbed his chest violently, despite his partner telling him to leave it alone. Then he started to draw something very similar to a pentagram on the floor with his own blood.

Sasuke couldn't be any more annoyed when his strange shark-like Biology teacher showed up from nowhere, creepy as usual.

"Of course we brought you here for a reason, kiddo", Kisame said. He grinned widely, showing all of his razor-sharp teeth. "Welcome to the Akatsuki."

.

* * *

.

**Author's Note:** Okay, I had to cut the chapter here because it became far toooooo long. Hopefully I can update pretty soon as I have a part of next chapter already done. For your information: Yes, Fugaku will show up very soon. This chapter contained a taste of the sad feelings that you will experience during next chapter, so I think I'll warn you already now. It will be very intense, in every way. I hope you enjoy, and thanks for reading!  
Also thanks for all the reviews, also the anonymous ones! I wish I knew who you are so I could thank you properly –sigh-

**A question for the readers:** What kind of chapters do you prefer? Longer but fewer chapters? Or shorter chapters (like in the beginning of this story), but more of them?

**Happy New Year!**


	13. Dead End

**~Pieces of You: Chapter 13: Dead End**

* * *

_"Of course we brought you here for a reason, kiddo", Kisame said. He grinned widely, showing all of his razor-sharp teeth. "Welcome to the Akatsuki."_

Sasuke saw the members taking their seats around a large table with much quarrel and fighting. There was something respectful and breathtaking with the whole organization, despite Kisame's and Hidan's dirty jokes, Deidara's constant fuss about blowing himself up and the principal's neat assistant who was making origami flowers. The room was windowless and quite dark and it was hard to make out their silhouettes, but they didn't seem to mind.

He suddenly saw Itachi appearing in the doorway and he hurried forward to meet him. Their eyes met for a moment, and the elder squeezed his hand comfortingly. "There are things we need to discuss. I'm glad you are here."

They took a seat next to each other. Sasuke looked around at the assembled members in the dusky room and saw both new and old faces. Pein seemed to be the leader even here, as he and Konan sat for themselves at the end of the table. Pein was the only one who was wearing a black cloak with red clouds.

Apparently wanting to finish something, Deidara let a little bird of clay jump on the table, dangerously close to Hidan who was sitting across from him. Snarling, the fanatic religious man raised his scythe.

"Don't you fucking dare, you stinky atheistic –"

"Hidan", Kakuzu grumped warningly.

"Are you on your period? The floor is soaked, un", Deidara muttered angrily. Sasori sighed.

"I'm gonna crush you like I did with that spider before", Hidan growled. His blood from his stabbed chest was flooding all over his arms when he moved.

"Oh, that was _so_ fucking impressing, un. I'm gonna call the press at once", Deidara snapped back. "My art –"

Pein cleared his throat and looked at them with narrowed eyes. However, the Jashinist and the artist didn't seem to notice.

"Jashin is a joke, un!"

"Your art is a motherfucking joke!"

"I can finally emphasize with Itachi", Sasori muttered and glanced at his partner who continued picking a fight with Hidan. "To feel that overwhelming strong urge to protect someone… someone who doesn't even wants to be protected."

Sasuke felt the other's eyes turn at him for a moment, and his blood rushed towards his face. _What-_

"These fights wastes so much of our time... and money", Kakuzu muttered.

"We're assembled here for a reason", Pein spoke up and eyed them warily. His stern voice finally cut off Hidan's and Deidara's quarrel. "We need to discuss the future of Akatsuki, as well as the recruitment... of a new member."

Itachi closed his eyes briefly and he took hold of his little brother's hand under the table, linking them together. He knew more than the other members what this was about. As they started expressing their opinions on the topic he remembered an event some months ago.

.

_"Five years have passed since you became one of us", the bronze-haired man said, "And you've became much stronger… tougher. I'm satisfied with what I see now, Itachi. Your past broke you, and we've sharpened every one of the shattered pieces within you. Now you have to use the strength within you. Find it, and what you desire will become yours."_

_Pein stood at the side of the flat house roof together with Konan. They had brought their youngest member here after years of training to finally let him show his abilities. A group of six men or so that the organization had captured and planned to execute where standing at the one end of the roof. Itachi stood at the other side and measured them with his eyes. He knew what was expected of him. He didn't want to kill them if it wasn't for a mission, if there was no real purpose behind it. But according to Pein, it was for him to learn. They would have been executed anyway, sooner or later.  
_

_Konan's face was just as grave where she stood beside her partner. "You will never reach any of your goals, including finding your brother, if you're not prepared to sacrifice everything for them. You need motivation. You need to feel that it is worth dying for."_

_Itachi's face was emotionless and he knew what was to come. The victims in front of him knew it too._

_ "Imagine him for your inner vision, and imagine that his whole life depends on that you find him." Pein's face was hard. "You will need to become heartless, Itachi. You will meet so many obstacles, and finding him is your first one. But if you let your emotions come first, they will eventually destroy you." _

_Konan had a kunai in her hand in the next moment. "If you don't kill these men, I will kill you."_

_It was all a part of his training, Itachi knew. Pein and Konan had taught him so much. The bronze-haired man continued: "Concentrate… turn your feelings into a weapon. Know what you must do."_

_The look in Itachi's eyes changed. He attacked the men in front of him with a whole new strength, speed and anger than what he usually had. It was like Pein had told him – once he overcame his inner sorrow the whole world was lying beneath his feet. God himself – Pain – was guiding his steps and he became unstoppable. Itachi had learned how to use his anger and frustration to increase his strength and make him able to crush everything._

_His body almost became invisible in those few moments he was rushing forward, leaving his spot and materializing beside his targets a moment later. The sharpness of a knife was glimmering in his hand, and a moment later the six men were lying dead in front of him._

_His eyes glowed red and he didn't have a single scratch on his skin. It had been a tough path to walk – but it did work as expected. The image of Sasuke was sleeping inside of his heart, and Itachi was the shell that harbored all love to him. Right then as he watched the blood flood from the limp bodies he raised his head towards the sky and closed his eyes. He couldn't stand watching the sky turning crimson with his sins, and he felt the blood drop from the knife in his tainted hands._

_But it was true. He was ready._

_A masked man was watching from afar, shielded from view in his large black cloak. It was indeed a good choice to bring Itachi into their organization. He had become a brilliant weapon, a shortcut to the other side. He was death, anger and power._

_Itachi Uchiha… who at the end of the day still despaired for his lost little brother._

_.  
_

"A new member? You mean another piece to 'Kuzu's fucking collections of corpses?" Hidan asked rudely. "Who is it?"

"Another Uchiha?" Zetsu hissed.

"A _what?" _Deidara protested. "No, never ever what so ever, un! We have enough with one!" He glared angrily at Sasuke.

Sasori sighed. "That brat might not be very long-lived."

As they continued to argue back and forth, Sasuke bit his lip and tried concentrate. But it was getting harder and harder by each minute. His hand was still connected to Itachi's under the table and now and then his brother would squeeze it occasionally, sending almost unnoticeable shivers through his body and raise his pulse.

They must have been sitting here for at least an hour without any break, and he was getting more and more tense for each time Hidan would throw his scythe across the table with the intent to slice the closest persons to pieces despite Pein's warning glances. Sasuke knew that Itachi wouldn't let him be hurt by the members of Akatsuki nor anyone else, but it didn't help to release the tense knot in his stomach. The others seemed used to the Jashinist's behavior and calmly dodged each one of his attacks, but Sasuke's nerves were tattered and torn despite his brother's calming presence. His attention was temporary collected when he heard his name being mentioned:

"How many of you vote for giving Sasuke a place in our organization in the future?" Pein asked sternly.

"Hah! What is this, a motherfucking _democracy__? _Jashin decides everything!" Hidan shouted. "Pray! Pray for the one and only -"

"Your 'God' has no power to decide anything here", Kakuzu grumped. His partner instantly turned towards him. "You know what, 'Kuzu? Eat a dick! I bet you're still damn jealous because I –"

"Get a room, un", Deidara complained.

"Let's continue", Pein cut them off grimly. "How many vote for it?"

Itachi looked hesitant. He turned towards his little brother with a slight frown upon his features. "How do you feel about this, Sasuke? It's not easy to be a part of us. I want you to know that, and I want you to consider it carefully. It will be tough and sometimes extremely dangerous. It will make us spend more time together, but you don't have to."

Sasuke let go of his hand and looked him deep in the eyes. "I want to, I really do. I told you I wanted to help out with your missions. As long as I can help you, I don't mind if it's going to be dangerous. I can handle it."

Kisame chuckled. "The kid is just as confident as his brother, though he is more open about his thoughts. This will be interesting.."

Itachi frowned, ignoring the others. "I… am grateful that you want to help me, but I don't think you understand what it means to be a part of an organization like this. There are no guarantees, no turning back. It will practically make you a criminal."

"Someone's getting cold feet?" Hidan chuckled savagely.

Deidara grinned cockily and Sasori raised his delicate eyebrows a fraction of an inch. Sasuke tried to ignore them. He could feel where this was going and he could feel himself getting upset. He didn't want to be treated like a child - he could accept that Itachi wanted to protect him, but he didn't want him to keep him from doing what he wanted.

"This isn't about my innocence, right? You don't want me in the Akatsuki because you're afraid I'll get hurt?"

His brother's eyes darkened slightly. "Indeed, you're right, Sasuke", he admitted quietly, but his tone had gotten slightly fierce. "I don't want anything to happen to you. Ever."

"I can handle it!" Sasuke forced himself to lower his voice and sound reassuring, mature. He remembered how he had let his anger get the best of him when he talked with his mom and Naruto, and he really didn't want it to happen once again. Not with Itachi.

Hidan laughed roughly. "Hey, won't you motherfuckers save your family issues for the kid's bedtime; we're trying to have a meeting here!"

Sasuke sent him a glare that actually sent the Jashinist backwards with shock, and Deidara's eyes flashed with frustrated jealousy.

"He also has it, un", he growled. "Those blood eyes… Every Uchiha is an inferior to my art, un! They are inferior to my _life, _un! Ugh! I knew Itachi had an annoying little brother, to make everything even more annoying!"

The elder Uchiha's eyes softened a bit and he reached out and cupped Sasuke's cheek in his hands, ignoring the others completely. "I didn't mean to make you upset", he said softly. "I guess I am still having problem… with my inner emotions. And my protectiveness, at that matter. But you know I'm just worried."

Sasuke's heart ached and he reached forward and hugged his brother tightly. "It doesn't matter, nii-san. You don't need to worry about me. I'll be fine, I promise. "

"What the fuck is this?" Hidan cursed loudly. "Just cuddling, no fucking! It's _scandalous,_ how the hell do you expect me stand this? Look at the cocksuckers!"

"I'm gonna blow them up at once, un", Deidara announced angrily.

"Don't", a new voice spoke out.

Sasuke had his head buried against his brother's warm, sturdy chest when he heard the voice. Konan had spoken out, and her female voice sounded strange in comparison to their male ones. She glared at Hidan and Deidara. "Leave them alone", she said fiercely.

As Deidara and Hidan started quarreling with her, Pein announced with a sigh: "The meeting is finished. We'll decide about this later."

Sasuke grasped Itachi's torso and suddenly became aware of how _close _their bodies were, so close that he could taste his brother's smell and body heat on his lips. The elder's hands were going down to his waist smoothly, and Sasuke had never before felt such a strong wave of desire. Nothing else mattered now, not the other persons in this room or that they were at an public place. His heart was beating fast and his face was starting to heat.

Itachi's teasing was driving him mad and everything from the look in his eyes to the tone in his voice made it all harder to concentrate. Sasuke wanted to scream out loud – both from frustration and from the insane raw, wild passion his brother set free inside of him. Forbidden thoughts were pushing their way back through the door he had locked in them behind, making him go crazy.

_I want him. I want him so much. I need him._ Sasuke looked up and chewed at the inside of his cheek as he saw Itachi looking back at him.

_I don't care that he is my brother – my own goddamn hot gorgeous breathtaking big brother. I know I shouldn't think like this, but from the very beginning… I've wanted him in every way. I don't care that it's illegal – all I want right now is to feel his body against mine, skin against skin – And I'm so damn ashamed. But I can't stop myself from thinking like this – It's simply too good. My thoughts are so sinful that they could make an angel fall down dead. I should be imprisoned. But it can't change what I feel - and what I want, and need.  
_

Before he had time to register it, Sasuke found himself suddenly pressed flat against the wall. Itachi was pressed to his body, smirking as he leaned down to whisper in his ear:  
"You don't know what you do to me, little brother. But…" His voice was low and soft, almost teasing – again. "I don't think the other persons in this room would appreciate it if I did what I wanted to with you right now." A shiver was going through Sasuke's heated body in a moment, and his heart was beating so fast it hurt.

"You'll have to be a good boy and wait." Itachi's black bangs fell down in Sasuke's face as the elder continued quietly: "Don't say anything. Give me a moment to control myself." He was still smirking as he nibbled at Sasuke's earlobe and then let him go. The younger boy couldn't see straight. His head was swimming with dizzy arousal and he almost hyperventilated. Itachi… wanted him the same way? Itachi struggled to control himself?

Once again he felt that need washing over him like a sugar sweet wave, washing him away to the most faraway places deep inside of himself. So much more he wanted… so much more… Black velvet desire, forbidden but still so wanted. A crime, a passion, a need… all pressed together inside of him. Sasuke wanted it so damn bad, although he knew he must be disturbed for having all those thoughts.

He looked into the eyes of his brother and Itachi placed his hand over his heart, tenderly, feeling the violent pounding from within. "Soon", he mumbled quietly.

"Well, I'd really appreciate it", Hidan said grinning, "Put on a motherfucking show for me. Send me a tape later on, dudes."

Itachi's eyes turned red and warningly in a fraction of a second, but still he seemed relaxed. Sasuke was dragged back to reality, torn away from his brother's breathtaking eyes. First now he remembered that they were not alone in the room.

"Tobi is a good boy! Tobi wants baguette!" the masked man announced, running around in the room like an idiot.

"Why don't you take some _tartiflette _too and shut up?" Kisame suggested annoyed.

Konan walked over to the brothers as she put some blue strands of hair behind her ear. She smiled at Sasuke. "I'm glad to see you're feeling better now", she said and gave him a motherly pat on his hair. "You finally found 'that person' and it was worth the wait, right? He has been waiting for you too", she said kindly and winked at Sasuke.

Itachi looked at his little brother and couldn't stop a smile from lightening up his face. "We should get going, Sasuke. You still have two classes left today, haven't you?" Sasuke grabbed brother's hand and nodded at the kind blue-haired woman before they left the room.

On their way out they heard Hidan's voice behind them:

"Oi, Konan what an old hag you've become all of a sudden! You're even more annoying than Sasori's fucking grandma! And I used to think you were strong! How old are you, 25? And if you're so fucking desperate that you start babying other people's kids, then here's a hot tip – get laid already and get married! If you can, that is -"

A loud crash was heard from behind. Hidan yelled with angry satisfaction when his face was torn up by razor-sharp paper shurikens and his blood flew in all directions.

"You'll never learn how to treat a woman", Konan's low, snarling voice was heard. "If there is one single thing in life _you _are able to accomplish, it is getting laid. I am a strong independent kunoichi and I don't need no kids or a kitchen."

"Ey, 'Kuzu, look what she did!" Hidan yelled. Pein glared at him with narrowed eyes.

"You deserved it", came his partner's grumpy reply.

"What's up with her?" Sasuke asked half-interested as he followed Itachi back. His brother glanced at him. His tone was formal, but it hinted pitying.

"Konan is unable to have children. She almost killed herself when she found out."

**XxX**

.**  
**

"I have to go back to my class now", Itachi said and let go of his brother's hand when they had left the conference room behind. "We'll meet after your last class and go home together."

The younger boy smiled widely. This was perfect, exactly as he always had wanted it. He and his brother, no one else.

None of them noticed the man far away, visible through the windows, who was going towards the school with something in his hand.

Sasuke reached up and placed his arms around the elder's neck, needing his touch. He could feel Itachi's smile against his lips for a moment, before the elder rested their foreheads together. Standing so close the younger boy eagerly tried to push himself closer while Itachi nuzzled his face. They became one in this moment, emotionally and spiritually close than ever before; their souls entangled and waved together in an inseparable pattern.

Sasuke placed his arms around his brother's chest, feeling how he was granted all the support and safeness Itachi gave him. However, the older brother remembered another time, and he closed his eyes and remembered Sasuke's little body latched tightly onto his own, his little hands grasping the back of his shirt, searching for the Nii-san safety that only Itachi could give him. And now when he opened his eyes Sasuke was still there and the realization that they would have whole life in front of them was unbelievable even for a prodigy like him.

Sasuke was not able to understand why his brother looked at him in such a sorrowful and yet happy way; he had almost no memories to recall. He was a bit surprised when Itachi wrapped his arms around his body in the next moment and pressed Sasuke firmly against him.

"Nii-san", the younger protested slightly embarrassed as Itachi kissed his forehead softly. Sasuke could feel a slight burning in his cheeks and suddenly it was hard to look at his brother. He felt a slender finger lifting his chin up gently, and suddenly he was feeling all hot and bothered as the thoughts from before were coming back.

Itachi smirked, apparently realizing what his little brother was thinking about. He leaned closer and his hot breath was sweeping over Sasuke's skin. "I promise you you'll get what you want", he said quietly, "But not yet. Who would I be to steal your innocence just like that, when I've promised so many times that I would protect it?"

Sasuke started whining in protest, but the elder put a finger over his lips and silenced him. "I want it too", Itachi admitted. The look in his eyes was very intense, although his voice was casual. "But I don't want you to be involved in any sinful thing, no matter how tempting."

"This whole situation is sinful", his younger brother sulked. "You can just as well say that you and I are sinful. Some more love won't do any difference. We're going to hell anyway, so why don't enjoy it while we still can?" He chuckled dryly.

Itachi smiled, slightly amused. _I've been on my way to hell for so long, but how could you ever end up there? _"I'll see you later", he said and poked his brother's forehead.

Sasuke bit his lip. "Sure."

When they had parted for their respective classes Sasuke walked past the toilettes of the school. There he always used to go when he wanted to be alone. He directed his steps towards one of the restrooms, wondering if he still would be able to find the same peacefulness there. Everyone else must have been in their classes; the restrooms and the corridors of the school were completely empty.

He opened one of the heavy doors to a bathroom and stared into the battered mirror. The same face, the same person on the outside… but inside, he felt like leaving an old part of him behind, going into a new world. A world with Itachi.

It felt right to live like this. He had never known what it was like to have the love of an older sibling right there with him. And the feeling of being in love was something unbelievable precious. It felt as if everywhere he looked he could see Itachi. In the mirror he looked at his own reflection and saw his brother's kind smile sweeping into his own features. In his own eyes he could see Itachi's gaze.

Sasuke owed him so much, and he knew that he would never stop loving him. The world had expanded so much; he had learned that there was a world outside of school, outside of the filthy restrooms and boring classes. There was a world when even he was allowed to be happy.

There was a person who appreciated him for the way he was deep inside and took him exactly for the person he was; seeing and accepting his flaws and imperfections. And in every little piece of Itachi, Sasuke existed.

He slowly left the small room and let the door shut, sighing softly with irritation when he thought of what he had to endure before this day was over. More classes.

Still turned against the wall, he put his hands in his pockets and tried to get emotionally ready for the rest of the day. He heard heavy steps behind him and a small feeling of irritation rose in his mind. Sasuke didn't turn around; he just opened his mouth to tell the other person to get lost.

But the words got stuck in his throat, only pressed upwards like empty bubbles of air as the person behind him grabbed his neck and violently threw him at the floor.

He could hear thousands of sounds in his mind in that moment – but most of all the alarming crash that was heard when his head hit one of the radiators on the wall. His head fell back as he landed on the floor, gasping in shock. Stars danced in front of his vision and made it go blurry.

When Sasuke's mind caught up, he realized that he was lying sprawled on the floor. As he tried to get up he saw an older man walking towards him unsteadily. The stranger was holding a gun. There was something very familiar with his face, but the young Uchiha could hardly think straight. A horrific ache in his head was starting to show up, and involuntary his body sank down again.

Sasuke felt something warm and sticky slowly flow through his hair and stain the floor. He automatically raised his hand to touch the wound but disgusted pulled it back, realizing that it was colored crimson red. Stark glowing, dripping red that only a nasty wound in the head could conjure.

The smell of metallic and the sight of it made a wave of nausea well up in his throat. His body felt heavy and unwilling to move, but a little ironic voice in the back of his head told him that he better get up and run _now_. His head was spinning awfully as he rested against the hard, cold stone floor and his whole body was aching. He could hear heavy panting nearby and struggled to keep his eyes open.

Sasuke's arms searched along the floor after anything; a provisional shield or a weapon to defend himself with. But he was outnumbered, powerless by his bleeding head and the man above him. Seeing him, there was no doubt about his identity. The man's face was painfully similar to Itachi's, but it lacked the same kindness. There was no malice, only anger.

Fugaku slowly stumbled forward, stepping on Sasuke's fingers. As the young boy bit his lip to hold back a painful scream, he realized that the man must be either drunk or mentally ill - or both - as he was stumbling and coughing above him.

Sasuke could almost feel an enraged shiver going through his body – this was the man who had tormented his other family members in a dark, broken childhood he barely could remember. This was the man who had abused his mom at so many occasions, given her the permanent, nasty scar she had at the base of her neck and that always had caused her shame.

"Your mother was a very stupid woman", Fugaku hissed through clenched teeth and heavy breathing. "She cared more about her disgusting kids than herself – than _me. _But this is the payment – and she'll learn to never think about anyone else than _me. _I'll make you all pay –"

Sasuke inhaled sharply and tried to make out the silhouette of his father in front of him, but his vision was going even more blurry and starting to fade away. How many times hadn't he dreamt about a moment like this, meeting the other creator of his existence for the first time? But he had already guessed that his father wouldn't be a help-out-with-homework-kind of dad.

The nausea was thick in his throat, threatening to well up at any moment. _Fuck._ Sasuke had heard enough horror stories and knew that if someone didn't turn him around soon, he was going to be suffocated by his own vomit. But the anger was too strong to make him really worried. So much suffering was caused because of his father, and he had had enough.

"Don't you dare… say such things about my mom! She is _not _stupid", he protested enraged, but it was hard to keep breathing. His voice was dying out in his throat, and he struggled for breath. "_You _are disgusting, _father. _You…"

Pain was ripping like a fire through his head when he felt someone roughly grip his scalp and with slight difficulty throw him against a radiator again. Sasuke's body slumped back on the floor like a lifeless puppet and he was unable get away.

He raised a trembling hand to his face, but it sank down again almost by itself as he didn't have enough strength left. Fugaku raised his gun. He had kept it since his time as a Police Chief of the town where he used to live, and no one had known where he had hid it for all this time. His mind was only having one single word on repeat, and it was _die. Die, die, die, die, die, die… _

There was nothing before this, nothing after. Fugaku just knew by some strange reason that he wanted to _get rid _of all the dirt in this world that was his youngest son and wife. They had betrayed him, left him all alone, and they were going to be punished.

Itachi… he had not betrayed him. But Fugaku had already promised himself – yes, he had – that if Itachi showed up, he'd be joining his family members in no time.

And why just kill this little pathetic failure that was lying in front of him?

Fugaku could feel the rage grow inside of him for each moment. Sasuke's classmates… Teachers… A cruel smirk appeared on his face, blending in well with his spinning Sharingan. The whole school would be punished for involving with that whore kid… That fucking kid that had stained his existence for such a long time.

Delete, erase, remove. _Everyone. Will. Die._

With his hands trembling from excitement, anger and overuse of drugs he pointed the gun at the blurry, wounded mess on the ground and pulled the trigger.

.

At the same time not far away…

"_Allez, aujourd'hui c'est jeudi de la semaine... "_

"I know! I know!" Naruto screamed and jumped up and down in his seat with impatience. Ebisu narrowed his eyes dangerously.

"As I was about to say after the introduction, today we're going to learn _basic _words that you apparently haven't learn yet."

"That was _so _mean, Pervy-sensei!" Naruto complained.

"I was talking to the whole group", Ebisu sighed. "And they ask me why I want to strangle them sometimes", he muttered under his breath.

"Moving on, we'll begin with the 'restaurant phrases', as you can use when you're at a restaurant somewhere in France... or _la Belgique_… Ino, surprise test! Which languages do they speak _dans la Belgique?_"

Instantly panicking, Ino stuttered: "Je ne sais pas, sensei..."

Ebisu reacted as if someone just had killed his best friend. "I can't _believe_ it! Gaah! I've told you this _so many times!_ You must be really stupid or I'm a really bad teacher! _D'accord_, looks like we have to go through this once again!"

The whole class groaned in disapproval. The teacher reached out for the pen to write on the white-board when suddenly a loud gunshot was heard not far away. Ebisu flinched and dropped the pen.

"_Merde…_"

"You cursed in class, sensei!" Naruto yelled.

Ino, Kiba and some of the other pupils looked around a bit confused. All of them had heard the sound, but they were not sure about was what going on.

The teacher, however, remained calm but irritated: "_Non, _Naruto. I did not curse. _Merde _is not a vulgar word to use in the most cases. Actually, it's used like 'shit' or possibly 'fuck' when something goes wrong."

Another gunshot was heard, this time almost earsplitting loud.

Ino glanced nervously at Kiba. "What's going on?"

"You know, it sounded like there's a mad serial killer with a gun right outside the door", Suigetsu remarked nonchalantly. This statement made the students glance at the door with fear in their eyes.

Ebisu obviously didn't take it seriously. "_On continue._ Where was I? Restaurant phrases. If you behave good, we can play _Quel fromage est-ce? _at the end of the lesson. You are really good at guessing which cheese I'm talking about._"_

"What are we going to do?" Ino whispered and tried move her chair further away from the classroom door.

"We're all gonna die", Suigetsu grinned. "Too bad Sasuke's never around when disaster strikes. I'd like to see how he handles it. Where is he, by the way?"

"Probably skipping school again", Kiba muttered and they glanced at each other.

"… You don't think he is where I think he is?"

"…And you don't think the gunshot sounds came from exactly where I think he is?"

"In that case, this is a real _merde _situation. _Merde, merde, merde._ Or in other words,_ dammit_."

"Sensei, what if it's for real?" Ino spoke up.

Ebisu sighed. "_C'est _really against my standards, but I'm going to have to consider dismissing _le course_ a bit earlier, for secure reasons. But you should stay in here, _peut-être._"

"No, what if the killer comes in here and makes a quick 'clean-up'? Our survival chances are going to be laughter-provoking", Kiba stated while Ino glared at him.

"This isn't funny! All of us might die! We're stuck here like trapped rats!"

Suigetsu shrugged. "I'm just going to be sad because the last minute of my life was spent in school. In French class, no less."

Ebisu collected his things. "We're leaving right now. But _écoute_ well, if you survive we're going to have a test on this."

.

Itachi was standing at his desk, waiting for the lesson to be finished so he could get to Sasuke. Babysitting a bunch of rude 6th-graders had never been a goal of his, but he was getting strangely tolerant. There was nothing that could foretell what was about to happen today. No strange feeling of tension, no chill in the air. But once it happened, everything burst.

As he made over to a kid's bench to tell him to calm down, the sound of a gunshot close by pierced the air. Soon after came another one, and Itachi had been in enough critical situations to know what it meant. Someone shooting? _Here? _At school?

Feeling his heart rate speed up significantly, he wondered briefly who was the victim. Then the realization hit him. This wasn't a mission. Here, it was not about 'run and hide' and leave comrades behind. Here he had a responsibility for his class.

Itachi had these oblivious kids to keep safe and a little brother… who possibly hadn't made it to class yet. His eyes widened and without even noticing, he dropped the book he was holding.

_Sasuke!_

_**xxxxx**  
_

The sound seemed to shake the whole building for a moment, sounding overwhelmingly loud. After what seemed an eternity, Sasuke heard Fugaku emit some muffled sounds as he stumbled towards the closest classrooms.

Left alone on the floor, the young raven-haired just wanted to close his eyes so badly and disappear into the darkness… but something refused to disappear, burned on his eyelids like sharp light.

He saw Itachi's face for his inner vision now, but it was pained. His brother was suffering in his mind. Sasuke could see that tormented look in his eyes and he just wanted to hold him tight, stroke his cheek comfortingly. But his arms were spread on the floor beside him, lifeless.

He gritted his teeth and used his last strength to force a happy expression on Itachi's face – with those beautiful eyes shining when they were looking at him, his soft lips smiling. His very own angel, calling out for him. If there was only a way to get rid of his pain…

The young boy's tears were dripping down his face and mixed with the blood on the floor, but he knew it was all too late. The last time had already passed. There was no other time for them. He would give everything to get rid of his memories, these realizations that hit him now. Hell, it was true, all that shit about seeing your life pass by in front of your eyes when you know that you're going to die - but Sasuke had had enough of all of it, and right now he just wanted to get it over with.

He could feel his body curling together like a dead spider in some kind of prey defense position. There was nothing else he could do but to wait for his predator to end his life. But something told him that Fugaku had already left, right after that sudden gasp he let out after the gunshot.

Sasuke felt so nauseous in his whole body that he would rather have been burned alive, but there wouldn't have been much of a difference. He could feel it by the horrible feeling in his head as he bled and bled and bled, that he had already lost a great amount of blood from when he hit the radiator before. What more happened after the gunshot he couldn't think about; he was going numb quickly and he knew that if someone didn't stop the bleeding really quickly he would bleed to death in no time.

It was strange, how it felt to be touching death, floating so close. He didn't want to scream, plead, beg or cry for his own sake, only for Itachi's. He couldn't think about the elder's reaction when he found him…

Sasuke's vision was completely blurred by the tears that tried to drown his eyes. He hated showing himself like this, so weak and defeated. What did Itachi ever do to deserve to lose the only person that really meant anything to him?

He could feel blackness approaching him from all directions and there was nothing else but to fall into the darkness, lifelessly. His last conscious breath hurt. Everything hurt, it hurt so much that his very soul cringed, trying to get away from the pain.

"_Sasuke… Sasuke…"_

_Nii-san?_

"_Come to me, otouto."_

'_Niki?_

"Sasuke?"

"Sasuke, oh my god what happened?"

"Who did this?"

Loud, panicking, screaming voices. They inflicted on his already shut-down consciousness, and bothered him like sharp nails on skin. He wanted the voices to disappear; he wanted to continue sleeping inside of this dream.

He sank deeper into the warm blackness, unable to think, unable to feel, lost in a memory.

_He took an unsteady step, stumbling, but regained his balance. A soft happy voice: "Go to Itachi, sweetie."_

_He reached out his little hands. Mom?  
And there, some feet in front of him was his 'Niki, his 'Tachi-Nii. Big black eyes looking at him kindly, and suddenly nothing was as important as coming to him._

"Someone call an ambulance!"

"What are we going to do?"

"Sasuke, can you hear us? Hang in there!"

_He stumbled again, in those first tentative steps of his very own evolution, until he was able to take his first steps forward. He fell down on his bottom and tears filled his eyes. He couldn't reach 'Niki!_

_But his brother was there and helped him stand up, and Sasuke rushed forward on chubby legs until he fell into his big brother's waiting arms. He nuzzled his shirt happily. _

"_Nii-san."_

___The elder kissed his forehead and hugged him. "Well done, otouto. Now it's time to –"_

Voices that he no longer recognized, someone was crying, the sounds of feet running…

Another voice that he managed to remember through the blocking dim in his head and the consuming blackness. But still, the only thing he saw in his mind was those beloved black eyes, but he had lost all connection.

"Sasuke?" This new voice was cold with fear and panic. Itachi's voice.

The younger felt how something wet was dripping down his face still, and even now, at the end of everything, he couldn't stop the tears.

_I'm sorry, nii-san. I'm sorry that I'm letting you see me now, and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you how much I love you.  
_

_I'm sorry.  
_

* * *

_.  
_

_._

_**Tbc**  
_

**Please review, it means a lot!_  
_**


	14. All I Ever Wanted

**Author's Note: **I'm kinda surprised to realize that most of the reviews I get are anonymous. They make me just as happy, but I can't reply to them D: Come off anon so I can love you, guys!

It's getting a bit troublesome to answer the anonymous questions since I can't reply personally. So if you have any personal questions or something that is a bit off topic, please PM me instead or use my tumblr (the-queen-of-itasasu). My ask box is always open and there you can remain anonymous if you wish.

And a friendly reminder: This story is not finished until I say it's finished. I will not abandon this story out of boredom, so you have nothing to worry about. :)

* * *

**Pieces of You: Chapter 14: All I Ever Wanted  
**

"Sensei, what's going on?"

"You guys stay here. Do not leave the room", Itachi instructed. He was already on his way out and his mind was as far away from his pupils as possible in this moment. In his head he was with Sasuke now, and nothing else mattered.

The scared kids had heard the gunshots as well, and the sight of their teacher leaving the room only left them panicking even more.

"Sensei, where are you going? Sensei, what if –"

Itachi could feel himself getting frustrated – that was not a good sign. He could not allow himself to lose his composure now. He just felt that he needed to get to his little brother _now, _even if he had to go through a whole burning school, literally. He had done it before and he would do it again if needed. Suddenly he felt that he could not care less about these kids.

"All of you, stay in here", he growled and showed them his Sharingan to make them understand just how serious he was. They backed off against the walls, terrified.  
"If you choose to leave the room anyway, it's your responsibility."

Hell, he was not here to act like their lifeguard – they were mere toddlers to him, really unimportant. There was only one life he needed – wanted – to protect.

He quickly left the room and as he ran down the corridors, he noticed that the chaos was spreading. The closer he got to the center of the school – where he had found Sasuke several weeks ago – the more people he saw. Confused and scared students and teachers were coming out from the classrooms and it became hard to move fast. Itachi let his Sharingan guide him to the place from where he could sense Sasuke's chakra. He got an odd feeling of déjà vu when he remembered his rescue action during the fire long ago. But now he was experiencing a new kind of fear.

His heart was fluttering anxiously as he heard some kids scream and shout to each other, apparently panicking. Soon there were only a handful of people in front of him; the classmates of his little brother.

Preparing to deal with an eventual mass murder that probably would be able to kill all of them in the blink of an eye, Itachi let his Mangekyo Sharingan surface and he gripped the knife he was always carrying around for safety reasons. He had been in countless situations like this before and he knew how to disarm a person with a gun without getting hurt.

But something told him that the hurt had already been made. Suigetsu who was standing in front of him moved aside and the vision became clear.

Itachi stopped dead in his tracks when he spotted the scene in front of him.

His vision turned black for a moment, then red. The pain was clawing at his insides, breaking him down in violent storms. Only raw pain inside, as if his eyes were stabbed, his body was sliced in two, his arms crushed and his skin broken at the same time. Nothing could compare to this violent fear. It was filling him, making it impossible to breathe.

Itachi's shoes were starting to get soiled by the puddles of fresh blood on the floor.

Stained, sticky patterns all over. One of the radiators on the wall was partially stained with the red liquid.  
And there on the floor – outspread in a strangle angle, lifeless, with his black hair completely dyed with blood and his skin white as a sheet, Sasuke laid.

While calling out his little brother's name in desperation, Itachi's mind could only focus on two things in this moment. He looked around in brutish rage.

First of all, there was one thing he could not ignore. One man.

His Sharingan told him so well where the culprit was heading and he didn't even have to take two steps before he saw him. He could not have been any less scared in this moment. The fact that Fugaku was still holding a gun was perfectly meaningless – he could just as well have been holding a feather.

Itachi felt a white-hot metallic taste of rage in his mouth and he pressed his teeth together, feeling an enraged snarl tear through his throat. A mere second later his strong hand was pinning Fugaku against the wall, his hand pressing against his father's neck firmly. The man was already bleeding from before and he clutched the weapon.

Fugaku let out a strangled gasp underneath his son's hand that was about to crush his throat.

"I-Itachi", he hissed angrily. Their eyes met, but the younger man's held no mercy. In his eyes burned a dark hatred, caused by his worst fear coming true.

He had failed to protect Sasuke. Again.

Their eyes met, and Itachi saw a glimpse of fear in his father's eyes now. "I failed being your son", he said darkly with every word laced with rage, "But so did you fail with the most important task of your life. I will always remain stronger than you, and all the pain you let me go through has made me a fighter. This is the last day of your life bothering Sasuke, or me, our our mother."

By now all of the Akatsuki members were assembled at the place, but none of them interfered with the family issue. Most of them held the other students back on Pein's orders. Konan among most of the female teachers were kneeling by Sasuke, trying to give him first aid.

Itachi's strong emotions were almost bringing tears to his eyes, but he knew that this man must get his punishment once for all. It was too late for any apologizes, explanations. His hand was mercilessly squeezing his father's throat. His muscles obeyed him well although he was breaking down to mere pieces inside.

A part of him wanted to break the man's neck without further thoughts, but there was something inside of him that stopped him. His thoughts were battling against each other: _For Sasuke's sake… save him from that monster! _And then… _Don't take the only father Sasuke has ever had away from him!_

Itachi couldn't think anymore. He just let go of the man, watching him fall to the floor.

A moment later he was by his little brother's side, abruptly pushing the other teachers away. Kakashi was there, calm like usual, kneeling down by the wounded one. "Itachi, calm down. The medics are on their way."

The gray-haired man was only met by an enraged pair of red eyes and a violent growl before Itachi hovered over his limp, unconscious little brother, careful not to move his head. Tears were now cascading down the elder Uchiha's face and he whispered his little brother's name over again. He might have had a hard life, but he had never before experienced a pain like this before. Not even when Fugaku tried to drown Sasuke in the bathtub eleven years ago and almost succeeded.

Itachi violently tore off a part of fabric from his shirt and used it as a bandage to wrap tightly around his brother's bleeding head. But he saw that Sasuke had already bled a great amount and everything Itachi knew about the human body was making itself reminded. How much blood had Sasuke lost already? According to the amount of blood everywhere and the amount that was staining Itachi's clothes, he could see that situation had gotten critical. Sasuke needed a transfusion immediately.

Fuck! Where was the ambulance when he needed it? Itachi gritted his teeth, too upset to breathe properly as he worked to stop the blood flow.

He felt as if someone was gripping his stomach tightly and at the same time ripped out his heart piece by piece and stomped on it. _Sasuke must not die!  
_He could not live in a world where his little brother was not alive. It was simply impossible.

Three ambulances arrived at the school. While every one of the teachers were busy with them or kept the students away from the place, Fugaku stumbled to his feet again. Everyone seemed to have forgotten him in the chaos. There was a whole organization of criminals to stop him from continuing, but he could not care less about them. He stumbled further and further away from the place with blood dripping down his legs.

He heard the terrified screams and cries from behind and suddenly he couldn't help but smile. They should all know by now. He was the predator here, he was the killer.

They were all in his mercy.

Konan had rose with anger flaring in her amber eyes. She was going towards him, and he thought about the satisfaction from killing her too as he raised his weapon without a single thought.

"Konan, step back", Pein ordered her firmly from the other end of the crowd that he was trying to keep away.

"I won't let this monster get away with what he has done", she snarled.

"Konan!" Pein repeated louder as Fugaku pointed the gun at her.

Another gunshot seemed to shake the building when he pulled the trigger. The students set off screaming, panic-stricken, just as Fugaku wanted it. In the following chaos he had the chance to shoot again before he felt himself being violently restrained.

"Oi, you're out of luck, motherfucker", Hidan said as he waved with his scythe in front of the Uchiha while Kakuzu easily restrained him. Fugaku could feel a horrible pain in his leg and he struggled to get free. But it was impossible; Kakuzu was too strong for him.

Konan felt sick where he lay on the floor, protected by Pein's body. He had thrown himself over her to shield her. She gritted her teeth in impotency as she saw the ambulance attendants carefully lift Sasuke's body up on a stretcher. Itachi was standing beside him all the time. The blue-haired woman saw the look on his face and it made her heart break.

Itachi looked dead.

Screams came from some of the other students and Konan gasped: "Nagato! The children!" It was shocking to face the truth that some of them must have been hurt.

They quickly got up but the bronze-haired man halted her. "Konan. Follow Itachi to the hospital."

They looked each other deep in the eyes for a moment, and she understood what he meant. They were like foster parents to Itachi and he really needed support now. Besides that, Pein wanted her to get away from this place as long as there was still a danger.

Konan nodded hesitantly. Some medics were already treating the wounded students. Sasori had been keeping himself close to Deidara all the time but now he approached Itachi in silent support.

Konan had been feeling sick already before, but what she saw in the next moment was what made her want to throw up.

The whole school was in chaos, there was blood everywhere and a still unknown number of people had been killed or seriously wounded because of _that _man.  
Hidan was arguing with some policemen who had just arrived to the place. Kakuzu temporarily let go of Fugaku to calm his partner down.

While he did that, no one noticed when Fugaku brought up the gun again. This time he pointed it at his own neck.

_Only God will punish the truly guilty ones_

**xxx**

_.  
_

_N-_

_Nii-_

A world of darkness in his head. Endless spaces of nothing. Pain.

_I won't wake up. I can't wake up._

He was searching blindly with his arms for a way out of the consuming darkness, but he found nothing.

_"It's time to wake up now, Sasuke."_

Where? Where?

_I am caught. There is no way out. I won't make it. There's not enough air –_

There was a fire. Burning hot flames, but he could not see it.  
_  
"Mom?"_

She smiled. "This is the best birthday I've had for many years, sweetheart." She walked over to him and kissed his forehead.

There was something else, too.

_"Strange how much a little wound like this can bleed, don't you think?"_

Blood. Sasuke felt nauseous all of a sudden, but everything was black. Whose voice was it?

His head… he bled…. The sight of his hands, crimson colored.

_I have met you somewhere before, I swear. But where? Where? It feels ... like I've known you for so long. And still, I've hardly talked to you. It's like some kind of dream. Maybe you're only a dream, that I've forgotten.  
_

_I've always felt... like a part of me is missing. A piece of me is gone, and I don't know where to find it._

_I don't want to feel like this. I don't want to feel anything at all._

And now, something new. He shouldn't remember this. He had never talked to his mother in such a way.

_"Are you alright, mother?"_

_"Don't worry, darling. I'm fine. How- how was school today?"_

From where was that memory?

How was it even possible to remember something that long ago?

**xxxx**

**.  
**

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep – _

"I came as fast as I could", Mikoto said breathlessly. She looked pale and upset. Itachi saw that she had cried, but his own feelings were numbed. His mother looked like she had prepared herself for the worst. But no matter how strong Itachi was, he could never prepare himself for something like that.

Konan and Sasori, the calmest members of Akatsuki, had followed with him to the hospital and were keeping themselves in the background. But Konan stepped forward when Mikoto arrived. Carefully she walked over to the elder woman and stood beside her, showing her silent comfort. Normally Mikoto would have greeted her, but now she was far too upset.

They were standing right outside the room where Sasuke was being treated. She looked Itachi and her voice was trembling. "How is he?"

"He hasn't woken up yet", he answered. His voice was so heavy that her heart ached. She could see that he was keeping everything inside of him, as he always did when he was little. His face was expressionless but Mikoto knew what he held inside.

"But –" Konan spoke up. Her face looked gloomy with sorrow.

"But he is alive", Itachi continued without looking at any of them.

Suddenly the air seemed a little bit easier to breathe.

A male nurse was just leaving the room where Sasuke was, and Mikoto halted him.

"Excuse me, can you please tell me about the condition of my son, Sasuke Uchiha, who is being treated right now? What exactly happened?"

He answered formally: "We had to give him a couple of blood transfusions, but we managed to stop the bleeding by now."

She flinched. Konan put a calming hand on her shoulder.  
Mikoto was getting more upset by hearing the details. She put a hand over her mouth as her face distorted and she started crying.

"What about the bullet wound?" Konan asked quietly.

Mikoto looked as if she was about to collapse when she heard the next words. Itachi clenched his fists.

The male nurse looked at them in slight surprise. "He was not wounded by a gun."

Their eyes widened. Itachi seemed to know about it already, but he didn't show an ounce of relief.

"One of our doctors will discuss his condition with you later on", the nurse continued hurriedly. "If you would excuse me, I need to get to work."

"Of course", Mikoto said weakly. Suddenly she seemed to lose her balance.

"Sit down for a bit", Konan suggested and helped her to a nearby chair. Itachi was standing stiff without moving, seeing partially into the room where Sasuke was.

"Itachi, come here and sit down. You must be exhausted –" Mikoto pleaded.

"No."

"Everything is under control", she tried. Her voice was thick with emotions.

His eyes turned red.  
Sasuke needed him. He could feel it deep inside – his otouto needed him. There were no guarantees.

"Itachi", Konan spoke out quietly. "He is unconscious right now. There will be plenty of time to watch over him later. You're in shock, you need to calm down."

She might sound reassuring, but Itachi knew that she wouldn't accept a no.

"Yes, you have gone through so much today", Mikoto continued. "Just sit here with us for a little while."

With tears running down his face, Itachi turned away from the room.

**xxxx**

_N-nii-san_

_It hurts_

_Please take away the pain_

_Don't leave me behind_

_Where am I?_

_I only remember one face_

_One person I can't forget_

_I've lived far too long in a world where everything is about you and me.  
_

_And now, I can't find the way back_

_It hurts_

_Nii-san_

Floating around in nowhere, a familiar name and a familiar voice kept filling Sasuke's senses. He had no idea of what was happening or where he was, but one strange name appeared in his head all the time. Now he felt that his life with that person had been so much more than these past weeks and possibly two childhood years.

No, his memories could reach so much longer back in time now. For the first time in his life it was possible to remember. A time he _shouldn't _remember, but still it was there, right in front of him.

No one can remember the first months of their existence. But he had read somewhere that everybody has a deep, unconscious memory of the life inside their mother's womb. Any other day he would have called it pathetic, impossible, but now when he tried to create a thought, the visions washed over him again like soft, warm waves of water.

.

"Mikoto-san."

The black-haired woman looked up at the speaker. "Yes?"

"Come with me for a moment", a female doctor said. "It's about your son."

"And you are…" The doctor's gaze moved to Itachi who was sitting tense next to his mother. "…The boy's father?" She looked disbelieving.

"Far from. He is Sasuke's older brother", Mikoto said nervously. Itachi's red eyes narrowed. His mother could feel his tenseness and it worried her.

"Oh, I see. Now would the two of you come with me at once?" The doctor's voice was strict.

They went into a small, white room and the woman asked them – or rather _ordered_ them to sit down. Mikoto and Itachi sat across the doctor who introduced herself as Tsunade.

"I hope you understand that the boy's condition is very serious", she said. She obviously wasn't the one to sugar-coat things. "From what we could see, he has got a grade 3 brain concussion and moreover lost a great amount of blood from the wound in the head. It was close, but we managed to stop the bleeding just in time. He has had several blood transfusions and is deeply unconscious at the moment."

She paused for a moment, then continued: "Aside from that, he has a few fractures in his fingers." Itachi gritted his teeth.  
"We've found no damage to his spine or neck yet, but he has gone into a coma."

Mikoto gasped. "Coma?"

The blonde woman continued: "He can breathe by himself but we don't know when he'll wake up or how he will behave."

"What does that mean?" Mikoto asked. Her voice was hardly audible by emotion.

Tsunade sighed. She was obviously very competent but not very empathic.

"We don't know how things will look when he wakes up, or even if he will. It's my responsibility to prepare you for the worst. There's a possibility that he… will need to start over. We won't know anything for sure until he wakes up, though."

Mikoto whimpered quietly and looked pleadingly at the other woman. "Please save my son", she whispered.

"What does it mean?" Itachi snapped.

Tsunade sighed. "It means that he might have forgotten you."

.

_Nii-san… who are you?_

_I_

_Can_

_Feel_

_Your breathing_

_It's inside of me now_

_Come back to me, nii-san_

Sasuke's eyes remained closed; he was losing more and more of the reality. His mind moved and he had no control over it anymore. When he opened his inner eyes deep inside of himself there was only blackness everywhere.

He was shielded from the outside world and the only sound that was heard far, far away in this endless space was the sound of his mother's heart far above him. Its calm beating sounded so loud in the stillness.

But he couldn't hear anything yet, his ability to sense wasn't even created. His inner arms were reaching out to embrace this calming darkness everywhere, and he was starting to understand, somehow.

He had been thrown back into another time where he was left out to her defense. He had recently entered the body where he – maybe, just maybe – would be spending the next months. But this was the most fragile state of his existence – there was a big possibility that he wouldn't survive next few weeks, days, hours.

His life was resting solemnly in the hands of that woman, his soon-to-be mother. Maybe her body would decide that he wasn't created the right way and throw him out before he was ready for this world. Maybe she would decide to erase him. And what could an embryo that was smaller than the nail of her pinky finger do against heavy chemicals or medicinal tools?

But he didn't know about this. He was mindless, emotionless; a mini alien-looking piece of flesh slowly developing into a human being. Floating around in his own shielded world of warm water, not having any worries in the world but the urge to grow, develop and survive the next minute. All was about getting ready for the next stage of life.

He was alone, but still so close to the person who hoisted him.

It was such a beautiful, vulnerable moment, and little Sasuke's heart that was beating in sync with his mother's. He was floating around there, feeling as safe as the little child he was about to become. He had fought to reach this point, defeated so many else.

In this sensitive moment of pre-life he had everything he needed.

But it was now his older mind knew that he was not alone.

On the other side of Sasuke's protective wall a mesmerized child was pressing his soft hands against his mom's belly. His touches were spreading like cracking ice, and the warmth was touching little Sasuke's fragile shell.

Itachi's whispering words _"I'll always protect him…" _reached all the way to the unborn child. For the first time they became aware of each other's existence.

They connected already now, although none of them knew that he was born to become his brother's soul mate. They met and yet missed each other, and now there was no way back.

And the fetus opened his eyes in the darkness, feeling a soft nudge against his shell. He heard a voice that from now on always would be calming and comforting. There was no fear in the whole universe as long as that voice was there, a voice that belonged to a person that always would be Sasuke's safety.

Back then he didn't know the meaning behind the soft words Itachi uttered; it all sounded like empty noises. Sasuke's older mind squirmed, pushing against the surface that kept him from reaching the outside world. No, he wasn't alone.

He had died, but been saved at the exact same moment.  
He had lost everything, but gained at the same time.

_Now I finally understand_

_You are always a part of me_

_Itachi. _

**xxx**

"H-how c-could I-I l-l-et-t th-that h-happen…M-my s-son…"

Mikoto was crying violently, trying to dry her eyes with paper napkins, but ended up soaking them thoroughly. Itachi was not showing a single emotion. He was sitting still, unmoving. In his head everything was repeating himself and he didn't know what to do.

_It was close…_

Tsunade's face remained stern. "I'm sorry", she said, "But he has got the best care he could ever ask for."

"Wh-what w-will h-h-happen when-when he w-wakes u-up?" Mikoto sobbed.

"That's the easy part", the chief physician said as she stood up. "We will keep him here for observation for at least three days once he wakes up, and even more if his condition requires it."

"T-Tsunade-sama!" A short, black-haired girl gasped and hurriedly entered the room. "You need to come immediately!"

"What is it, Shizune?" she asked slightly annoyed.

"The… the patient has spoken!"

Itachi rose from his chair in a second. Mikoto stopped crying for a moment.

Tsunade turned towards the younger girl. Her slightly raised eyebrows were the only sign of surprise that she showed. "Has he woken up?"

"No…"

The temperature in the room dropped significantly.

"But he… he keeps squirming now and then, and he says strange things…"

"What does he say?" the blonde woman inquired.

"N-nothing that makes sense… more like names, nicknames… I can't really make out what he means."

"When can I see him?" Itachi asked. His voice was strained and his whole body was tense. Mikoto glanced at him with tears in her eyes.

Tsunade turned towards them again. "You can go, Shizune. As long as he is not conscious, it doesn't matter what he raves about."  
Her cinnamon-colored eyes turned towards Itachi. He stared at nothing with the same expressionless face and pain in his eyes.

Tsunade looked thoughtful.

"Maybe I can arrange so you can see your brother for a short while", she said after a long pause.

**xxx**

Itachi carefully entered the light hospital room. The nurse who had showed him in warily withdrew from the room with a short nod.

The night was falling, it was getting dark outside. He was standing there for a moment, silently looking at his little brother.

Sasuke was looking oddly peaceful where he lay in the bed with a new, clean bandage wrapped around his head and a cervical collar to support his neck. His eyes were closed and he was still unconscious, but it looked like he was asleep. His chest rose and fell slowly and one of his pale arms were spread out beside him. The other one was raised towards his chest. He was connected to a heart monitor that was beeping steadily.

He had been in a coma ever since they found him in the school earlier today, not regaining consciousness even for a single minute.

The last hours had been so tiring and Itachi could feel himself filling with emotions when the tension was released. They had put Sasuke through X-ray, taken blood samples, given him blood transfusions and done multiple other things to his body.

Itachi looked at him for another moment, before he moved a chair that was standing at the wall and put it beside the hospital bed. He sat down, listening closely to his brother's breathing. He reached out and gently took hold of the soft, unhurt hand of Sasuke. He squeezed it gently, warming it. The other one was bandaged because of the broken fingers.

Itachi was breathing his pain, he was alone in his and Sasuke's own universe.

He knew that people in coma where able to interpret voices and touches. "Otouto", he began. The younger boy didn't react.

Itachi gritted his teeth. It hurt inside. He felt that it was his own fault that it became like this. He was the one who had come into his brother's life after all the years and taken their father with him. Fugaku was not alive any longer and Sasuke had lost his father for the second time.

Still keeping his brother's pale, limp hand in his, Itachi lowered his head and allowed his sorrow to escape from within him. He clenched his teeth and let his tears fall; there was no need to pretend and keep it inside of him any longer. Only here in front of his beloved he could let out his feelings. "I'm sorry, Sasuke", he whispered. "I'm so sorry…"

His brother's forehead suddenly wrinkled as if he was in pain, and his free hand unconsciously moved as to remove one of the IVs that were connected to his skin.

"No, Sasuke." Itachi gently gripped his hand and moved it away. "Don't remove it." His tears were still streaming down his face.

"Nn-" Sasuke uttered something, like a whimper.

"Hush. Don't worry about anything. You're safe, little brother."

How sweet this pain was, how it hurt like a raw, open wound inside of him.

Itachi put his head down against the side of the bed, beside Sasuke's hand. He was falling from the skies, falling from the perfect world he had imagined that he and Sasuke would have from now on. Such a lie it all had been. How foolish of him to believe that happiness was for real.

"Hold on, Sasuke", he whispered. "I still haven't told you everything I wanted to. If you go now, I lose everything. Everything, because you are the only thing I have ever wanted."

Itachi stood up and now his eyes were gleaming red. Tears ran out of them and he had never in his life felt that worthless before. How could he have left Sasuke on his own?

But he was supposed to be safe in school. Nothing could have predicted this. But still, he should have been more alert… This was his fault and his fault alone. He was supposed to protect Sasuke.

He leaned over the body and stroked his face gently. Sasuke responded with a faint whimper. Itachi then leaned closer and softly kissed his brother's forehead. He knew it was a selfish act, but it was the only way to get rid of his inner pain.

Itachi gently embraced his brother as much as he could without hurting the pads and IVs he was connected to and closed his eyes. The elder was trembling with emotions and his tears spilled down on the face of the younger. First now he realized how _frightened _he had been for the last hours, and still was. He tried to push away the realization about how close it had been. Sasuke had become a vital part of him, a part he couldn't live without.

Life was hard and unfair. Someone as fragile as Itachi's little brother could easily be washed away in the constant waves that life threw against land.  
But now he was here, still breathing and safe in his big brother's arms. Itachi bent down and lightly as a stroke, his lips met his brother's.

That was when he felt Sasuke squeeze his hand gently.

.

* * *

**To Be Continued  
**

**Please review!**


	15. One Beating Heart

**A/N: Um… Hi everyone :3**

**First of all, I sincerely apologize for taking so long with the update.  
Those who follow me on Tumblr probably know why, but here it is again: I have an illness called rheumatism and it recently got worse. So much worse that I couldn't even write, not at all, since my fingers and hands hurt so much. I was in pain even while writing this note. At least, here you have this chapter and I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

**From previous chapter: **

Life was hard and unfair. Someone as fragile as Itachi's little brother could easily be washed away in the constant waves that life threw against land.  
But now he was here, still breathing and safe in his big brother's arms. Itachi bent down and lightly as a stroke, his lips met his brother's.

That was when he felt Sasuke squeeze his hand gently.

**Chapter 15: One beating heart**

_In another world, where I wouldn't want to wake up… Not now, not ever. There was I floating for so long, deprived of all meaningfulness. _

_But now I know that someone is waiting for me. Someone who needs me._

_This time the surface is closer than before. When I reach for it and open my eyes, I can see my brother there. _

_His soft ivory skin and black eyes, all surrounded by a black mane of hair. He reaches out his hand for me and I take it. This time I let my Nii-san's arms lift me from the darkness. He brings me over the surface and now I can breathe. When my strength isn't enough and I'm not strong enough to keep myself above the surface, he will hold me close to his chest and support me._

_Now, and forever. _

_My Nii-san will be there. If I ever were to doubt, or to lose myself, I know he will push me into the right direction. What I feel for him is sparkling like water in the sun, but it won't disappear when sunset arrives. _

"Sasuke… Otouto…" Itachi's arms were wrapped around the young body and his long hair fell down around them. He had buried his face in his little brother's soft hair, letting his tears moisten their faces. "Otouto… I love you so much."

With fluttering eyelids Sasuke squirmed slightly. "Nii-san…" The word left his lips so faintly, but it warmed Itachi's heart deeply. He had found the way back to his little brother, and nothing could keep them apart.

Sasuke was weak, but he was alive.

"Hush, my baby brother", Itachi whispered. "I am here and I will protect you. I won't leave your side ever again."

Sasuke felt Itachi cry against his face and he opened his eyes, looking at his big brother. He took a deep breath, feeling how it was surprisingly easy to keep himself above the surface now.

Was this worth it, once with all suffering this brought? Now he knew the answer.

Sasuke's voice was back; his mind was wide open and taking every detail of the world around. The most beautiful face in his universe was in front of him, looking at him with heartbreaking sweet love and anxiousness. There was no need to cry now. No need to be sad, because the love of his life was right by his side. After all the pain and suffering, the sun had come.

He raised his arms and wrapped them around his brother's neck, cherishing in Itachi's delicate features. He pressed their noses and lips together, so close that he could feel his older brother's eyelashes against his cheek. Sasuke breathed deeply of Itachi's scent, letting it kill the hurt inside. "I love you."

He still felt a tear run down Itachi's nose and drip down on his own, and they were one.

"I love you more, baby brother."

Their lips met, in such a soft and certain manner, and they knew it was right.

.

In another room Mikoto was crying with her face in her hands, not trying to cover the scars inside any longer. She had just been informed about the death of her former husband and what he had done.

To her the world was breaking down into pieces, first now trying to rebuild itself. It hurt. It hurt to let go of the past. But she knew why she had to do it.

She was surprised by the blonde doctor, Tsunade, who was sitting next to her and giving her support. She somehow admired the older woman very much, by her calm and competence.

"You have your children left", Tsunade said. "Two sons, and they need you to be there now more than ever. You've all made it on your own for such a long time, but they still need to feel that they have one parent left. Show Itachi and Sasuke that you love them no matter what."

The black-haired woman nodded and dried her eyes with one of the napkins Shizune had given her. She stood up and after giving the doctor a grateful nod, she exited the room.

Mikoto carefully opened the door to the room where Sasuke was resting, struggling to keep herself from crying again. She hated seeing her children hurt.

But what she saw now made her jump slightly, and her eyes widened with shock.

Sasuke was awake; his eyes were wide open and although he was pale, he had a faint blush on his cheeks. His pale, dry lips were smiling blissfully at Itachi who was stroking his face with one hand. It was obvious how much love Itachi put into his touch, especially with the effect it had on his little brother. They stared deep into each other's eyes, caught in their own world.

Itachi turned around when he heard a sob from behind. Mikoto was smiling through her tears, and it felt like a heavy burden had disappeared from her heart.

.

**- Later that day –**

Itachi carefully entered the room. Sasuke was lying in the bed, still looking very weak. The nurses had been there to change his bandage and he was still connected to a lot of equipment that was supervising his heart rate and other essential body functions.

The elder Uchiha leaned over his brother with observant eyes. "Do you need something, Sasuke? Tell me, I'll give you anything."

"I want you", Sasuke mumbled and wrapped his arms around the elder's neck.

Itachi sighed. Always so stubborn. His eyes found the younger boy's but it was impossible to remain stern. When he looked into Sasuke's black orbs he was reminded of how much he needed his brother, how close it had been. Itachi gently detangled himself from the younger and kissed his forehead softly.

"You need nourishment", he stated firmly. "It's very important that you get stronger."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Noticed, doctor Uchiha."

Itachi chuckled a bit, glad to see a bit of Sasuke's old personality again. "What do you say about something with tomatoes?"

Five minutes later Sasuke was sitting comfortable leaned against the headboard of the hospital bed, drinking tomato juice from a mug with a straw.

But although he didn't complain, his forehead was wrinkled as if he was experiencing a bad headache and he was obviously in pain. Itachi sat beside him on a chair, watching him intensely the whole time.

"I'm not going to suffocate myself with the drinking straw", Sasuke spoke up after two tense minutes. He sent a half-hearted glare towards his brother.

Itachi forced himself to relax a bit and sighed again. "I'm sorry, I'm just- "

_I'm just so afraid of losing you again. _

Sasuke interrupted him by reaching out his arms in an obvious request. "Nii-san."

Itachi hugged him softly, careful not to move the mug Sasuke was still holding. Regularly physical contact had become essential for both of them.  
That was when the younger Uchiha spotted something in the corner of the room.

"What is _that_?"

Itachi withdrew from him and sent a quick glance at the mentioned corner.

"It's your… presents, I guess you could call it."

Sasuke frowned. "All _that_?"

A whole truckload of wrapped gifts and flowers were collected in the corner together with various "Get well soon" cards. It looked like someone had walked into a flower store and a toy store and bought everything that possibly could be bought, clumsily wrapped it and then dumped it in Sasuke's hospital room.

Sasuke groaned. "They've given me sweets like usual, haven't they? It will take a month to get rid all that." He swallowed dryly, feeling slightly nauseous when he thought of it.

"It's from your classmates and teachers", Itachi smiled slightly at him. "They left that while you were unconscious." He looked grave again, but only for a moment. "You can look at that later. I also have a present for you."

Sasuke looked suspiciously at him. "It's not sweets, I hope."

"No, it isn't." Itachi bent down and kissed his little brother deeply. "It's actually something I've had for many years", he said when they had pulled apart.

He pulled his hands to his neck and swiftly unfastened the necklace he was wearing. It was the same necklace made of small metal rings that he had had since the first time Sasuke saw him. Before his little brother's stunned eyes, he gently fastened it around Sasuke's neck. Itachi smiled at him.

The younger Uchiha didn't know what to say. He wasn't really into jewels, but this felt special. It was something that had belonged to Itachi_; _it surely had some of him in it.

"Thank you, nii-san", Sasuke smiled back. Suddenly he grimaced. "My head hurts", he mumbled. He seemed to lose his grip around the mug in his hand. His body seemed to lose all strength all of a sudden and he fell forward. Itachi quickly caught him before he fell off the bed and put the mug to safety on the night stand meanwhile. But some of the red juice spilled on the sheets and soiled them.

"Otouto?" he asked worriedly. The boy in his arms was barely conscious.

"I… need to go to the bathroom…" Sasuke managed to stutter with a frown. His eyes were closed and his breathing was fast.

"I'll help you", Itachi said immediately and lifted his brother into his arms.

He was prepared to help Sasuke with everything for the rest of his life. He would enjoy it, as long as his little brother was safe.

xxxx

Blue clouds over a darkening sky, the day was fleeting away.

Itachi was sitting in the hospital bed dressed in informal clothes, leaning against the wall behind. He had one leg stretched out in front of him and the other bent. Against his chest with his head against his neck Sasuke was resting, held tightly by the elder's arms. The younger's limp body was held between Itachi's bent leg and his other arm.

Naruto and Suigetsu couldn't believe their eyes when they saw the sleepy creature lying in Itachi's arms. Sasuke seemed so fragile now, with thinner features… almost like a girl.

He was even paler than before; his skin looked like frozen snow in the cold light from the lamps. He was thinner and skinnier than before; he seemed to have lost a lot of his muscle mass. His long black bangs were covering his face and the only sign of life they saw was his thin, delicate pale hand that grasped onto his brother's upper arm gently.

Itachi warily looked up at them when he felt them enter the room. His face was even more closed and emotionless than before, but when he looked down at the little brother in his arms, his eyes filled with emotions.

"Naruto, Suigetsu", he greeted them briefly before he carefully adjusted Sasuke's body against him. The weak pale mess that was his little brother moved slightly when he heard his friend's names being mentioned, and he looked at them.

Naruto gasped with utter shock. "Sasuke -"

Sasuke's face looked battered and he had deep blue shadows under his eyes. They were slightly similar to his brother's tear troughs; more defined now than ever before.

The bandage tightly wrapped around his head was an uncomfortable reminder for them. Naruto and Suigetsu remained awkwardly standing in the doorway, staring at their friend. Suddenly they remembered all too well the event in the school – Sasuke had looked almost like that some days ago, but with his whole hair colored crimson from all the blood that was leaking from his head.

Itachi's intense gaze didn't leave them for a moment. He clearly wanted to be alone with his brother. The three boys started up a silent staring competition, while Sasuke remained quiet and oblivious. Or so they thought.

"Naruto… Suigetsu…" Sasuke's voice sounded almost like usual, but it was strained, and his forehead wrinkled as if he was in pain. He tried to get out of his brother's supporting arms, but Itachi was unwilling to let him go. "You should rest, Sasuke", he said firmly. "You are much weakened."

"Nii-san, I can handle it", Sasuke protested with a big amount of determination for someone that just some days earlier had been treated like a football.

Looking very unwilling, Itachi carefully let go of his brother.

With his arms and legs trembling Sasuke made an obviously painful attempt to get up from the bed on his own. But he had barely lifted himself up when his face involuntary scrunched up in pain and he seemed to lose his balance completely. Itachi instantly became alert, half-way rising from the bed as he quickly but carefully put his arms around his brother to keep him from falling. Sasuke's body slumped back against Itachi's chest, exhausted and limp. "I…" he began, but even his voice lacked strength.

"Hush, don't move, otouto", Itachi said comfortingly. But even the shocked boys at the door could hear the sorrow behind each and every of his words. "You need to rest more, let me hold you."

Naruto and Suigetsu were both shocked beyond all imagination. They had never been able to imagine Sasuke like this, so helpless, so weakened.

Naruto had never liked the idea of Sasuke being together with a guy like Itachi, but his opinion about his "mean" teacher was starting to soften a bit. Even he saw the worry and sorrow in the man's eyes that were drowning him from within. Now he was starting to see Itachi in another light. It was obvious that he was Sasuke's respirator for the time being – not that Sasuke couldn't breathe for himself – but Itachi's arms were literally the only things that were holding him up. He was his little brother's bed, couch and wheelchair right now and that was tragic to witness.

Sasuke whimpered quietly and squeezed his eyes shut. Itachi resumed their previous position while looking coldly at the visitors. "He need to rest now. Please leave."

Itachi leaned his cheek against his brother's head and closed his eyes. He was also very tired.  
Sasuke snuggled up against his chest and fell into a restless slumber.

**xxx**

Itachi walked down the dark hospital corridor with his sleeping little brother in his arms, carrying him bridal style. Outside dark clouds were darkening the sky, making everything feel so lonely. Itachi wished that he had something that could make even him feel safe, feel hope for tomorrow. Sasuke felt so madly fragile to him, so weak. He might be strong inside, but the elder brother would always view him as someone who was in need of his protection.

Sasuke moved his bandaged head a bit, and Itachi heard him emit some muffled sounds. He stopped and looked intensely at him.

"Ni –" Sasuke's eyes remained closed, but he sounded pained, "Ngh… ani…" a soft gasp,"-ki…"

Unable to understand, Itachi felt his little brother's hand grasp his arm tightly in his sleep. Maybe he was having a bad dream, or probably he was still in pain from his wound.  
He went to the room where two beds were placed – he had gotten permission to sleep next to his little brother in case of an incident and for the comfort of them both.

Itachi carefully placed Sasuke on the first bed and tucked him in. At first he stayed beside the bed, just watching the smaller body move slightly with breathing. It took him a moment or two before he was able to breathe properly, feeling a strange pain in his heart.

The person dearest to him was in such a need of him right now, and Itachi could not help but to blame himself. He bent down over the body and tenderly stroked some black hair out of his brother's face. He bent down further and their noses touched slightly. Itachi's hand remained in the young teen's hair as he nuzzled his face gently. Then embraced the younger boy, feeling Sasuke's heartbeats and breathing so close to himself.

"Don't worry, otouto", he told the sleeping teen, "Your nii-san is here. Everything will be fine, I promise."

But in this moment he found no reason to pretend any longer. Itachi clenched his teeth and his tears stream down his face.

_Will you ever forgive me, Sasuke? I should have watched over you better. I shouldn't have taken you for granted. I shouldn't have -  
_

"Itachi?"

He turned around to the soft voice and saw his mother standing there.

"You should to bed now, Itachi. It's late." Mikoto offered him a comforting smile, but he couldn't let it calm him down.

"Right now, Sasuke is very weak", he said. "He can't go up a stair by himself. He might collapse at any time – I need to be there for him all the time and watch over him."

"You must rest yourself, Itachi", Mikoto said and reached out for her son. "You must have been awake for at least two days straight. When was the last time you ate?"

Seeing the look in his eyes remain unchanged, she added softly: "Please. Don't worry about him, darling. There are several nurses here who will watch over him constantly, and I and Kakashi are also here. And those nice people from your organization – was it Konan and…?"

"Sasori", he said quietly. Best for her that she didn't know what "the nice people" did on their missions.

"Yes, they promised to be here as well." Mikoto stroked her son's cheek tenderly and saw him close his eyes. His tear troughs were very defined now.

"At least eat a bit", she pleaded. "If you're going to watch over Sasuke, you will need your full energy even if you don't sleep."

She knew he didn't want to be away from his brother for a moment, but nevertheless he nodded.

"Go down to the cafeteria", she said. "Or I can ask a nurse to bring you something…"

"It will be fine", he said dismissively. He made an attempt to go, but before he had time to leave the room she stopped him by hugging him hard.

Mikoto squeezed her son tight and still it felt strange that he had grown so much. He was taller and much more muscular than her. He was no longer her little boy with soft cheeks and a childish smile. She closed her eyes tightly and could still hear the sounds of his pain echoing deep inside of her. Itachi had become a man, a worthy man. How she wished she could have seen him grow up.

"Itachi", she said softly. "Please don't blame yourself. It wasn't your fault. Listen to me, there was nothing that you could do that could have changed it."

He opened his glimmering obsidian eyes, and they looked very grave. "Mother…"

She let go of him and forced herself to smile. It was her turn to be strong now, to support him in this. Even if she was just as worried as him, she was the parent.

"I love you", Mikoto said softly. "You're not alone in this. It will be fine."

And in that moment when she saw a shadow of a smile on Itachi's pale lips, she knew that maybe they would be able to find the way back to each other.

When he had gone to get some food, she went over to her younger son and took hold of his hand.

"Don't you worry about anything, sweetheart", she told the sleeping Sasuke. "Mommy and 'Niki are here with you again, and you will have the life you should have had. We won't abandon you. Both of us love you so much."

But she couldn't get her worries out of her head. Itachi's inner guilt was suffocating him, but she knew one person who might be able to help.

.

.

* * *

**Please, please take the time to review. It would make me really happy.**


	16. When Pain Fades

**A/N:** **I'm so happy to be back here, although I know it's been a long time. I hope you enjoy! **

**_From previous chapter:_**

_"Don't you worry about anything, sweetheart", Mikoto told her sleeping son. "Mommy and 'Niki are here with you again, and you will have the life you should have had. We won't abandon you. Both of us love you so much."_

_But she couldn't get her worries out of her head. Itachi's inner guilt was suffocating him, but she knew one person who might be able to help._

* * *

**16. When Pain Fades  
**

"… You're telling me his dad is dead?"

"Yes."

"Dead? Like dead, for real?"

"No, only in your imagination, _baka." _Karin hissed.

"Unfortunately we couldn't make any money of the body", Kakuzu muttered.

"I can't believe it –"

Suigetsu shook his head, wondering if Sasuke knew. Poor guy, he had hardly found out who his dad was before he kicked the bucket.

"Seriously. You're telling me that the man who practically murdered his own son just – got away like that?"

Karin glared at him. "Shut up!" She turned to Kakuzu who was positioned outside the door to Sasuke's hospital room like some kind of guard. "We're here to see Sasuke."

"Is he alone?" Naruto asked hopefully. He really wanted to avoid Itachi. Last time he came here, he had received a really uncomfortable greeting.

He had been standing outside the door. "I wonder if teme's alright", he muttered.  
The door had opened without any warning.

"Sasuke –" he began relieved, but stopped when he saw Itachi's suddenly angry face appear in his vision. A pale fist was rapidly pulled back and banged into his face. He stumbled backwards, spitting blood. "What the heck–"

Itachi regained his usual facial expression. "Just a little payback", he had said casually before letting Naruto into the room. Sasuke had just sighed and refused to explain.

To his big dismay, Sasuke was now, just as any other time during the day, together with his brother. The younger Uchiha was lying in his bed looking as if he was about to drown in the growing mountain of gifts and get-well-soon-cards that his classmates had left him.

"Have you seen my gifts and get-well cards?! I made them just for you, Sasuke-kun!" Karin burst out as soon as she got access to the room. The Uchiha pretended not to hear her. Naruto and Suigetsu sat down beside the bed and tried to ignore Itachi, who was standing in the back of the room with his gaze firmly resting on his little brother. The elder male was pale as a death himself.

"The good news are that you're alive, Sasuke", Naruto announced. "But the bad news are that you have to do that French test. And you've missed _loads_ of school work. Pervy-sensei was all hysterical the other day because-"

The response was a quiet curse and a groan. "Help me get rid of these goddamn things", the raven muttered with a gesture to the enormous packages of flowers and cards all around him.

Suigetsu picked up a card that was covered with a pink gelatin material and had got stuck in another pink card that was completely covered with real cherry blossom flowers. He read the content and grimaced.

A familiar shark-like man suddenly appeared at the door, swiftly, without making any sound despise his tall and muscular features. He grinned widely when he saw the persons in the room and then turned to Itachi. "Can I have a word with you?"

The older Uchiha looked at his little brother questioningly and was rewarded with a slight sigh from him. "Just go, nii-san. I'll be fine."

The doubt was clear in Itachi's eyes and he walked over to his brother's bed without a word. Naruto automatically leaned back a bit, wondering if he was going to be hit again. They could all feel a slight tension rise in the air when the two brothers got closer to each other. Itachi just leaned down and kissed Sasuke's forehead tenderly, before looking into his eyes.

Sasuke made an attempt to smile reassuringly and now his face was much redder than usual. He wanted nothing else than to simply feels his brothers lips pressed against his, but they couldn't, not now.

"See you later, aniki."

Itachi nodded and left the room with Kisame. Naruto sighed with great relief. "Your brother doesn't like me", he muttered.

Sasuke turned his head away, a bit guiltily. "Sorry."

"_You're always getting into so much trouble, Sasuke. It isn't an easy task to keep you safe", Itachi said and stroked his cheek. His smile was strained, slightly annoyed. _

"_Well, it wasn't my fault that the school started burning that day", the younger defended himself a bit grumpily._

_His brother frowned. "Sasuke, when I find out about who started that, I swear I will –"_

"_No. You're not going to do anything. It was Naruto who did it, by accident", the younger Uchiha cut him off.  
He immediately regretted his words when he saw the tension in his brother's body. _

"What?" Naruto turned to him, confused.

Sasuke shrugged. "Nothing."

.

Mikoto hated to interfere with anything. But she knew she had to do what she could, for the sake of her sons wellbeing. Sasuke's condition was getting better, but still, he had been violently abused and had a serious brain concussion, and the consequences of that were yet to be seen. Itachi had also been mentally harmed and she was worried for how he was going to turn out after this.

She had spoken to Kisame the other night and put all of her pride aside. He had been over at the hospital to talk to their leader, and she timidly pulled him aside, praying that her nightmares would end with this.

"Kisame-san, I need to ask you for your help", she had said quietly. "You know Itachi better than anyone else, isn't that so?"

The blue-haired man looked strangely at her. "Well, I suppose I do", he said after a short pause. "I have been with him in the Akatsuki for six years." He grinned a bit. "But that guy is very quiet-minded, if you know what I mean. I don't know what he is thinking."

Mikoto sighed. "He is worried sick for Sasuke. It's tearing him apart from the inside – he suffers for the sake of his little brother, and he keeps on blaming himself for everything that happened."

She thought she could sense a small bit of concern behind his sturdy features.

"Could you maybe talk to him, Kisame-san?" Mikoto pleaded. "Just see if you can cheer him up, or something that can take his mind off the constant self-blaming. I'd be so grateful."

The shark-like man shrugged. "Sure. But cheering up Itachi, huh? I'd rather try to cheer up Leader. For all the time I've known him, I have never seen him so obsessed with anything. But I know that when Itachi has found his way, he is not going to change."

.

Itachi stared at the plate in front of him. Five neat mahki balls together with rice, raw fish, some soy and wasabi.

He was not a fan of food.

Actually, he didn't like eating at all.

It was... unnecessary, in his opinion. It had no certain taste and it kept him alive even when he wanted to die. Now though, he knew he needed the energy, the strength.

He did have a thing for cabbage, though.

Like most other people where he lived, he had no troubles at all with eating seaweed or uncooked fish, but the consistence was hard to deal with if he felt bad. His throat felt dry and slightly swollen and more than ever he felt the need to just lay his head down on the table and take a break from the world. But Sasuke needed him, and that knowledge clawed at his insides. It reminded him of why he had to become stronger, and live.

Sighing softly to himself, he picked up his chopsticks. It was almost ironical – how easy it would have been if he wasn't human. He was tired of being the predator, tired of having intelligence enough to be able to mourn. He had lost his entire childhood, and for the first time in years, he wanted it back. He wanted to be free, oblivious and happy, playing with Sasuke in the backyard behind their old house. If only they still could.

He tried to remember what they used to do, but everything was being overshadowed by their father's forever painful presence. Their father had left an almost permanent scar over their hearts and memories, but Itachi was firmly determined to peal it away.

As he slowly began to eat, he could feel a headache coming over him. He had used his Sharingan far too much during the past days, as an automatic response whenever he felt upset or when Sasuke's safety had been threatened in any way – which had been a lot - and now it was starting to show. He was so tired, and he felt soiled, filthy, inside.

Mikoto had made it clear, kindly but very firmly, that he wasn't allowed to see his brother until he had eaten enough first and he didn't have the energy to argue.

Itachi supported his head in his free hand and closed his eyes. His conversation with Kisame earlier today was still fresh, and he tried to suppress all the slightly mad thoughts that arouse now. He missed Sasuke terribly already, which apparently was the whole problem. He heard their conversation clearly in his head:

"You're treating him like a _porcelain doll_, Itachi. Nursing people like that has never been like you."

His response had come immediately. "My brother is all that matters to me."

Kisame sighed, which was very unusual for him, but there was a hint of amusement in his voice. "I bet the kid wouldn't survive a day without you."

The black-haired man's eyes narrowed. "Kisame. Things will never be as they were before. The weight I carry on my shoulders is nothing that you can help me with, nor anyone else."

His partner's small fish-like eyes had showed a bit of that familiar concern. Before he left, he had said: "You know I'm looking out for you, kiddo. And I will continue doing it."

Itachi forced himself to eat almost all of the food, but the reluctance was still there in every movement. He kept his eyes closed, his head resting in his hand. He was too tired to face himself.

_"It's as if you're afraid he'll shatter and disappear if you're not careful." _

Kisame was right, he knew that. Itachi couldn't hide much from him. Even though he had tried to keep him at a distance, they had been teammates, roommates and been through a lot together, for such a long time.

_"What happened to the Itachi who put his missions before everything and didn't hesitate to use Tsukiyomi on anyone, even children, and told me to beware of him? What happened to the Itachi Uchiha that glared at me with crimson eyes before brutally killing off the enemy? Now you're just nursing your sibling frantically."_

Itachi hadn't answered that question, but he knew the answer inside.  
_I found the meaning of my life in another being, and suddenly my own life wasn't important anymore. That's all.  
_

**xxx**

Sasuke stumbled around in the hospital room, slightly unsteadily but without falling. Itachi was keeping himself right behind him, prepared to catch him at any moment. But his caution was unnecessary; the younger boy was regaining his strength quickly and now he could stand on his own legs without help.

His face had adopted a healthier color than before and his black eyes gleamed with life. Naruto and Suigetsu were about to leave since the visiting hours were over, but Sasuke wanted to follow them out. He was royally fed up with being stuck in the same, painfully boring white room, with nothing to do but open the same painfully boring get-well-soon-letters that came flowing in nonstop from Sakura and Ino and a lot of other girls.

"Wait for me-" he said, slightly out of breath as he made his way to the door. He felt two firm arms around his waist, stopping him. "Where are you going, little brother?", Itachi mumbled as his warm breath swept over the younger boy's face.

Sasuke was pulled to a warm chest. "You're not ready to go outside yet", his older brother said firmly.

Sasuke squirmed a bit. "Nii-san", he started to protest but was silenced when Itachi pressed their lips together firmly. "Stay here with me", the elder mumbled in his ear. "We finally are alone, and I need to spend time with you, now."

Sasuke could feel a tightening in his stomach and he sighed inwardly as he looked up at the gorgeous creature that was his brother. Itachi was so hard to understand sometimes... His eyes could flare with such a deep anger when he didn't get his will through, his appearance was as beautiful and flawless as a God's and his dark allure so irresistible. But he was complex and so hard to read. He could tease Sasuke without even knowing it, making the younger's craving for him unbearable.

His smile could stop his heart, his eyes could manipulate Sasuke into doing anything for him. Itachi was so dominant, always in control, protective and obsessed with his little brother, but the younger teen still felt so perfectly safe and shielded in his presence. His kisses were addicting and his love so sweet that Sasuke knew he would never be able to heal from it, but he didn't care. He was so deeply in love that he was perfectly fine with this. He knew he must be insane, but it was worth it.

He sat down on his bed again to rest, on his brother's request.

Itachi collected the cards and letters that were outspread on the floor and put them back in the pile on Sasuke's nightstand. The younger Uchiha who was busy watching his brother's beautiful hands move, smiled when he suddenly was reminded of something.

"Naruto is kinda afraid of you, you know. You shouldn't treat my friends like that, Nii-san." But his voice wasn't very reprimanding.

Itachi turned to him when he was finished, his dark eyes glimmering in a way that told Sasuke that the Sharingan was close to surface. "You have no idea what danger he put you in, and the rest of the school for that matter. I let him get away very easily. You are the most important person, Sasuke."

"I know I am", the younger said, frowning slightly. "To _you. _But my friends are important too, for me."

Itachi gently pushed him down into a lying position on the bed, but his gaze was upset. "I understand that, but I _will not _lose you again. You almost died on me twice, and I won't let it happen again even if I have to chain you to me."

Sasuke looked up at his older brother who was hovering above him on the bed with his arms on each side of his head. They looked deeply into each other eyes for a long moment. Itachi might act possessive, but his eyes were deeply pained and flaring red. Sasuke knew what strain the Sharingan put on his sight and head.

The younger raven's heart softened. He reached up and stroked his brother's face softly. Itachi leaned into his touch, like a child who was craving for affection.

"Nii-san." Itachi seemed to calm down a bit when he heard his nickname.

Sasuke looked up into the red, upset eyes of his brother and continued: "I won't die. You really don't need to worry, aniki. I'm yours for all future, and I promise I will be more careful from now on. I belong to you, only you, and I will be here whenever you need me." He closed his eyes briefly, then smiled up at his other half. "I love you. Is that enough?"

He could feel Itachi relax a bit. The elder let out a soft sigh and buried his face against the younger's neck as his eyes faded back to their original color, easing his pain. He muttered something like 'foolish otouto' before he answered:

"Yes. It is more than enough."

Itachi carefully lay down on the younger without putting all of his weight on him. He kissed his brother's eyelids gently and his voice was soft as a whisper.

"When you were little, I promised I would never let anything happen to you, Sasuke. But I guess that is a really stupid thing to promise. Sometimes, things happen and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Sometimes… things need to happen."

"But I survived", Sasuke mumbled and looked up at him. "Thanks to you."

Itachi frowned slightly upon leaning down and kissing his forehead tenderly. There was a slight hint of amusement in his voice, but also irritation. "Why do I always find you in the worst condition possible?"

"Because you're always there to save me", the younger teen answered. "I owe you my life, and if that's not enough to convince you that I really want to share it with you, then you should go check your head."

His brother laughed softly and rested their foreheads against each other. "At least it can't become much worse than this?"

Sasuke scowled and his lips collided with his brothers in a soft kiss. Every time they connected, something healed within them.

"If you're talking about our 'defect' relationship, the answer is yes it can. You do remember what you promised me, right?" Sasuke was reminded of the tension in is stomach again. The temperature seemed to rise a bit as he anxiously waited for an answer.

His hungry breath was sweeping over the elder's lips, nibbling gently, and Itachi caught eye contact with him once again. The elder didn't answer right away, but he didn't make any move to push the younger boy away. Sasuke could feel a slight heat rise in his cheeks and he continued to lick and nibble at his brother's sweet and plump lips, just to move away to kiss his jawline slowly, temptingly. A low moan of approval escaped the elder.

Sasuke heard his brother let out a quiet gasp as he embraced Itachi firmly to keep him in place on top of him, pressing their bodies tightly together. More than ever before he wanted his brother to dominate him, to make him feel good. Sasuke wanted him to feel good, too. He wanted their bodies to rub together as intensely as their lips, he wanted Itachi's strong and capable hands to touch his body, to see and caress every part of it. His blood was already rushing more eagerly in his veins, rising arousal in his body. Itachi's energy was powerful, and it was turning him on without any stop.

He could feel his body tense when Itachi suddenly responded to his actions by biting down on Sasuke's lower lip, not hard enough to draw blood, but enough to make the sensations tingle through him as he felt Itachi's teeth scrape against his lip. In a daze, Sasuke watched as Itachi pulled back and eased the pressure on his body.

"I haven't forgotten. But would you just let me get used to having you here again for a while first? My worst fears came true not a week ago and my heart is still very sensitive." Itachi smiled lightly at him, but his eyes were still gleaming with both the same desire Sasuke felt, and deep seriousness.

Sasuke smiled a bit and embraced him tightly, feeling his excitement fade away for a bit. "Sure. I want you to stay right here until I can leave anyway." They breathed deeply of each other's scents.

Itachi moved a bit so he still had the younger boy pinned to the bed below him without putting too much weight on him. He embraced his little brother gently.  
"Sasuke", he muttered quietly against his neck, "No matter how much I'm aching to show you right now how much I love you and make you mine... You don't know how it feels to see the most important person in the world to you lying and bleeding his entire blood supply out on the ground in front of you, and all you can do is watch.

I'm not exaggerating when I'm saying that I've been through a lot in my life, and I've been in situations where I was convinced I was not going to survive. But yet… when I saw you lying there in front of me… I had never been so scared in my whole life. I just need to feel you here with me, for another day. I just want to assure myself that you won't go away."

Sasuke remained still as he could feel the body on top of him move slightly, and he felt Itachi's suddenly moist face pressed against his neck.

"Nii-san…"

To finally be able to call someone that. _To finally be able to have my brother by my side… my aniki. _

He rested his head against Itachi's and closed his eyes. His left hand intertwined with one of his brother's and he lifted it, kissing the faint scar on Itachi's knuckle gently. The elder's arms tightened around him and moved his head so that it was resting on Sasuke's chest.

They stayed like that, and Sasuke held on to his brother tightly, stroking some black hair out of his forehead and watched his angelic face slowly relax and drift off to sleep. He adjusted his position slightly so that they were lying next to each other. Still he felt the elder's strong arms around him, shielding him.

He buried his face against his brother's shirt and breathed deep mouthfuls of that scent that had become so comforting to him. When he smelled it he knew that nothing was going to hurt him anymore. He moved Itachi's leg over his own hipbone to entangle them even more. Then he sank into the warmth of his big brother's body and let himself fall asleep.

_And I know, the sun is rising for our sake. It takes away all the pain, for our sake. _

* * *

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**A/N: I think we're approaching the end of this story, sadly. But it isn't finished yet!  
I need to keep Itachi's promise, for you guys as well.  
**

**If you feel like it, please leave your opinion about this chapter before you leave. It would really mean a lot to me. I'm curious what my lovely readers think! **


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